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Open Poetry #30
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Ravenwolfvoyager
Member
since 2003-12-25
Posts 326


0 posted 2003-12-31 09:50 AM


His ship sailed onward beneath the light of a relinquishing star,
On a sea of turmoil to a land afar;
He had captained this vessel for 4 months and three days fold,
In sought of land over the horizon for his ship to behold.

His convictions were strong in hopes of land,
For engraved on the bow was the words of man.
He contributed to his destiny,
By confronting tragedy;
And read aloud without conviction,

A sign of encouragement that contributed to his determination;
Believing and trusting that the words were magical,
He read aloud the words "Be art to will, Fate, Hospitable."

He was taunted and accompanied by 14 men strong
It was his eager aspiration to find land before long;
"Oh where be thee found" he began to proclaim,
For he knew that the patience of his crew had grown weary and vain.

He had captained this vessel for 5 months and ten days fold
For never finding land the crews patience grew cold.
Onward he sailed for the land that he had longed,
Until he heard whispers coming from outside of his cabin from 3 men strong.

The whispers overlapped and wasn't clear?
But he overheard his name a few times and something of food? Perhaps poison he feared?
The shadows crept onto the floor to replace the suns retreat;
As if the silhouette of a cat's claw scurried to grab his feet

Be of consequence to his demise,
And in aspiration to his surmise,
He heard a pounding at the door!
He scurried to the cabin window for the words that he adored,
And read aloud without conviction,
A sign of encouragement that contributed to his determination;

Believing and trusting that the words were magical,
He read aloud the words "Be art to will, Fate, Hospitable."

Looking back at the door which opened in full retreat,
Stood three orderlies wearing white clothing bringing him something to eat?
Reciting in unison as if to cast a spell He recited and recited those words that he embellished so well.

As the lightening flashed the sign became readable
For in place of "Be art to will, Fate, Hospitable,"
He read aloud Bartonville State Hospital.

© Copyright 2003 Ravenwolfvoyager - All Rights Reserved
Ravenwolfvoyager
Member
since 2003-12-25
Posts 326

1 posted 2003-12-31 11:01 AM


I wanted to follow-up with this write. I hope that the subject matter doesn't offend anyone for in no way would I ever mean to cause harm by it. This is more an experimentation and a little self-discovery and I have gained some lessons by attempting to write something such as this.

With regards to the conclusions to this scenerio it warrants compassion and attention, it is important that we not cast judgement upon others less their beliefs and convictions are their ideals and sometimes of not of their own chosing.

Again, please accept my apologies for the topic. In no way do I make light of the seriousness. In the end understanding and self-realization is a far better conclusion and a wishful scenerio, but is not always the finality for some and that's where compassion and support is essential to all those effected by this topic. If there is any strong convictions please email me and I will remove it. Thank you.    

[This message has been edited by Ravenwolfvoyager (12-31-2003 11:02 AM).]

Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354
Listening to every heart
2 posted 2003-12-31 03:25 PM


Years [heck, decades] ago I visited by way of a psychology class, Camarillo State Hospital.  You brought that all back to me in one fell swoop as I read this.

You also brought back to mind the book I read about that same time, "I Never Promised You A Rose Garden."

Also..."One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest..."

You did a good job here.  What was your inspiration, exactly?

ThisDiamond
Member Rara Avis
since 2002-02-22
Posts 9353
Michigan, USA
3 posted 2003-12-31 03:33 PM


RWV:

There are few that would take the time to give explanation, or be so considerate.
I wanted to commend you for such exceptional caring.

This piece speaks to me of the comedy and tragedy that rests on the brink of every human's capacity to weather the storms.
Taken literally, you describe with much heart the passage on an illusionary journey...taken further, your muse embraced the shocking realization of receiving the nourishment needed, albeit perhaps not expected.  Wonderful job stepping outside your character.  
Enjoy your work very much.
TD

Marge Tindal
Deputy Moderator 5 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-06
Posts 42384
Florida's Foreverly Shores
4 posted 2003-12-31 06:55 PM


Jeff~
The versatility of your writing is to be applauded~
So I do ...

'it is important that we not cast judgement upon others less their beliefs and convictions are their ideals and sometimes of not of their own chosing'

Amen, kind sir ... amen~
You are such a tender person ... no one could possible misinterpret your intentions with this post ...~
Have a Happy New Year .. and let no one deter you from your writing~
You are very talented~
*Huglets*
~*Marge*~


~*When the heart grieves over what it has lost,
the spirit rejoices over what it has left.
- Sufi epigram
         noles1@totcon.com

nakdthoughts
Member Laureate
since 2000-10-29
Posts 19200
Between the Lines
5 posted 2003-12-31 06:58 PM


and I agree with my friends on here...
thank you for your thoughtful explanation.

You are an added pleasure to read.

~smiling~ and feeling a bit better
M

SharaRose
Member Elite
since 2003-07-19
Posts 2501
Somewhere out there~
6 posted 2003-12-31 07:43 PM


Raven Wolf in your e-mail to me you said I had left a comment saying you should change the writing. Well not only did I not say that in my comment, but now I don't find my comment at all.. Why is that I wonder? In my comment I wrote I was sad if this was a personal experience you had been through. Please would you send me the link where I was supposed to have said that. You can e-mail me from the above icon like you did before. I cleaned out my e-amil acct. If you wrote me one it may have been sent back to you because I got a message that my acct was too full, Sorry.
Puzzled?
Terri~

Well I will go down with this ship
And I won't put my hands up and surrender...Dido

Ratleader
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Rara Avis
since 2003-01-23
Posts 7026
Visiting Earth on a Guest Pass
7 posted 2003-12-31 07:52 PM


This is quality. You are going to be one of the bright lights of this group, and I'm proud you're in it.

~~(¸¸¸¸ºº>   ~~(¸¸¸¸ºº>  ~~(¸¸ ¸¸ºº>    ~~~(¸¸ER¸¸ºº>
______________Ratleader______________

Midnitesun
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Empyrean
since 2001-05-18
Posts 28647
Gaia
8 posted 2003-12-31 11:32 PM


Loved the way you unraveled this one to get at a kernel of barest truth.
garysgirl
Deputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 5 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Laureate
since 2002-09-29
Posts 19237
Florida, USA
9 posted 2004-01-01 11:20 AM


Jeff, this is very exceptional writing, Sir. You write with a compassion and understanding from your heart that is very commendable. Don't let anyone discourage you from writing from your heart.

You are a very welcome addition to Passions and I hope to read many more of your poems.

Thank you for being so kind, and Happy New Year to you and yours,
Hugs,
Ethel

vandana
Deputy Moderator 5 Tours
Member Patricius
since 1999-10-22
Posts 10463
USA
10 posted 2004-01-01 11:53 AM


really enjoyed this
Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049
California
11 posted 2004-01-01 02:56 PM


Ravenwolf...Well done...Very thoughtfully written!  
passing shadows
Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577
displaced
12 posted 2004-01-02 12:00 PM



Suetang
Member Ascendant
since 2001-03-07
Posts 5187
Melbourne, Australia
13 posted 2004-02-11 09:31 PM


Hello Jeff

I missed this one earlier but I am so glad I found it.  You write with such sincerity and compassion.  

Take care.......Sue

I am in motion
I am blue
Love is an ocean
I'm anchored in you
- Shawn Mullins

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