navwin » Archives » Open Poetry #30 » Water Burns
Open Poetry #30
Post A Reply Post New Topic Water Burns Go to Previous / Newer Topic Back to Topic List Go to Next / Older Topic
EverRuss
Member
since 2003-12-31
Posts 66
Indiana

0 posted 2003-12-31 02:07 AM





My mind id gone, hope you're havin fun
Im layin here, burnin like the sun
Coffee is cold, Im gonna go
Words seep out, as they did before
Clock is stuck, hands dont turn
Thoughts again, Im gonna burn

This bed is sharp, knives they bleed
I've laid here once before
Sprawled out on the floor
My demons feed, self-richious put aside
You're Someone else the mirror screams back
Shes gone now, accept the fact

Legs are weak conscience is gone
Somebodys here i better run
Nowhere to run Nowhere to hide
Water burns deep inside
Im gonna break and i dont know why
Water Burns and
The fire Dies

© Copyright 2003 Russell J - All Rights Reserved
lovejunkie
Member
since 2003-12-31
Posts 93
Indiana
1 posted 2003-12-31 02:11 AM


I think you've really captured emotion in the poem. The coffee being cold is awful. It basically symbolizes your life being cold if you ask me. I think it also shows your at home and comfortable with the pain. Sad but true. Some of us have to live there I guess.
passing shadows
Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577
displaced
2 posted 2003-12-31 03:10 AM


nothin' ruins the day like cold coffee, ey?

I can relate to this write and will be on the lookout for more of you

ThisDiamond
Member Rara Avis
since 2002-02-22
Posts 9353
Michigan, USA
3 posted 2003-12-31 03:54 PM


Oh wow!
What a wonderful feast you have set out here.
Understand well the dance of fire and water.
I am sure I will read this several times.
TD

Andrew Scott
Member Elite
since 1999-06-24
Posts 2558
Redlands,CA,USA
4 posted 2003-12-31 05:25 PM


Insanity is the view is see.  Your's is an interesting picture.
Terrina
Member
since 2003-12-31
Posts 166
California
5 posted 2003-12-31 05:35 PM


Wow, I love poems that paint a picture, and tells a story. I can really see how you were thinking and feeling and what mind set you were in when you wrote this.
Post A Reply Post New Topic ⇧ top of page ⇧ Go to Previous / Newer Topic Back to Topic List Go to Next / Older Topic
All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format.
navwin » Archives » Open Poetry #30 » Water Burns

Passions in Poetry | pipTalk Home Page | Main Poetry Forums | 100 Best Poems

How to Join | Member's Area / Help | Private Library | Search | Contact Us | Login
Discussion | Tech Talk | Archives | Sanctuary