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Open Poetry #30
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DavePage
Member Elite
since 2003-12-21
Posts 2917


0 posted 2004-01-02 07:23 PM


Echoing a fragment distilled life wondering future
Empathy understanding futility
If you believe that you are futile
Righteous anger for wakening an onlooker
Who prefers to sleep?
Waiting for the fools that pass
Until cut from their supplies of voice, ego and possession
You watch a fragment live
And yourself wonder again



© Copyright 2004 Dave Page - All Rights Reserved
wintertao
Member
since 2003-11-17
Posts 366
Okaloosa Island, FL
1 posted 2004-01-02 10:06 PM


hey nice I like, happy new year!
Sadelite
Member Elite
since 2003-10-11
Posts 2519

2 posted 2004-01-02 10:49 PM


"Echoing a fragment distilled life wondering future
Empathy understanding futility"

I liked the wording in the first line, especially!   I don't know if you intended "Empathy", as an ECHO from another to oneself, or not, but I do like that concept.

I enjoyed your poem, Dave.  Happy New Year!

                    Sadelite

Suetang
Member Ascendant
since 2001-03-07
Posts 5187
Melbourne, Australia
3 posted 2004-01-02 11:05 PM


Hello Dave

I really enjoyed reading your words.

Take care.......Sue

I am in motion
I am blue
Love is an ocean
I'm anchored in you
- Shawn Mullins

iliana
Member Patricius
since 2003-12-05
Posts 13434
USA
4 posted 2004-01-02 11:10 PM


Thought provoking........makes one reflect a bit!
passing shadows
Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577
displaced
5 posted 2004-01-03 02:21 PM



VAS
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-11-16
Posts 7450
Oregon
6 posted 2004-01-03 02:40 PM


fascinating, but quite an enigma for me

Whether on the shoal or on the shore,
I'll seek the lighthouse evermore.

DavePage
Member Elite
since 2003-12-21
Posts 2917

7 posted 2004-01-03 03:31 PM


If I can destroy the image and I will because I lack a complete lack of subtle words to

Echoing a fragment distilled life wondering future

Where the hell am I going

Empathy understanding futility

I wish the wind could make it's mind up
If you believe that you are futile

Been Told often enough

Got him right on the nose

Righteous anger for wakening an onlooker
Who prefers to sleep?

Not around here if they have any sense

Waiting for the fools that pass
Until cut from their supplies of voice, ego and possession
You watch a fragment live
And yourself wonder again

I thought they'd never leave.

The comments are very much tongue in cheek but I was trying to do my "lets assume that the leaf wasn't hanging around for someone to turn up and was getting a bit worried about the crop control around there".

Thanks for the comments

Dave


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