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 Toerag Christmas Carols...rehummed.
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Passions in Poetry

Toerag Christmas Carols...rehummed.

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Balladeer
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since 06-05-99
Posts 26302
Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA


0 posted 12-20-2003 03:05 PM       View Profile for Balladeer   Email Balladeer   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to Submit your Poem to Passions   Click to visit Balladeer's Home Page   View IP for Balladeer

For those of you who may have forgotten the words to these Christmas classics we sang along to last year, I repost them for your pleasure...
.
.
.


(Hark! The Herald Angels Sing!)


Hark! Hear Toerag spout his verse!
Fa la la la la
la la la la
Written words could not be worse
Fa la la la la
la la la la
Watch him butcher grammar, too.
He's a poet? No one knew!!!
He's the King of Ballyhoo..
Fa la la la la
la lalala.




(I saw Momma Kissing Santa Claus)


I saw Toerag on a date last night.
Sally Brown could not be more distressed!
She didn't see him peep
At her boobies - little creep!
He told her his demeanor
Was gentle as a sheep!
Then I saw Toerag try to kiss her neck
Buckteeth made her cry out at his bite!
Oh, what a sorry sight it was -
Her neck wrapped up in gauze
As Toerag blew another date last night!!




(Silent Night)

Silent Toe
Quiet Toe
Something we'll
Never know.
Lips that flap with the greatest of ease
Words that kill like a deadly disease
Mouth that never will die
Toerag can make the girls cry.




(We Three Kings of Orient Are)

We three kings - 'deer, LongJohn and Toe
Fight all day, as all of you know.
Peals of laughter
We are after
So we go on with the show.

oh.....oh...

John's a sailor...he's all right
Though the man is not too bright
Toe's a demon - always schemin'
Balladeer is the white night.

We three kings - Toe, LongJohn and 'deer
Found a home and we like it here.
Hug and kiss us or you'll miss us
Don't let us disappear....

© Copyright 2003 Michael Mack - All Rights Reserved
Alicat
Member Elite
since 05-23-99
Posts 4277
Coastal Texas


1 posted 12-20-2003 03:10 PM       View Profile for Alicat   Email Alicat   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Alicat

You three stooges never cease to amuse....so the question remains: who's Curly, Larry and Moe?
Enchantress
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since 08-14-2001
Posts 37801
Somewhere in time~


2 posted 12-20-2003 03:25 PM       View Profile for Enchantress   Email Enchantress   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Enchantress

Loved this last year 'Deer and it's even funnier this time 'round.
May you and yours have the best Christmas ever!

~Let peace begin with me...    

Sunshine
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Member Caelestus
since 06-25-99
Posts 67715
Listening to every heart


3 posted 12-20-2003 05:43 PM       View Profile for Sunshine   Email Sunshine   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Sunshine's Home Page   View IP for Sunshine


You and your inspiring duo
did well to all return for the holidays...
you know how quiet it gets in here
when you all *PooF*.

Merry Christmas, Balladeer!
Seymour Tabin
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since 07-07-99
Posts 32119
Tamarac Fla


4 posted 12-20-2003 05:58 PM       View Profile for Seymour Tabin   Email Seymour Tabin   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Seymour Tabin

Balladeer
As Gleeson would say "you're the greatest."
Have a Happy.
Magnus
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since 10-10-2001
Posts 14644
South Carolina, USA


5 posted 12-20-2003 06:07 PM       View Profile for Magnus   Email Magnus   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Magnus

Errr...perhaps a handshake....maybe a light,
manly hug......but ya can forget the kiss
part...

Great write Mike....
SmartChick
Member Rara Avis
since 09-23-2001
Posts 7301
On A Journey To The Unknown


6 posted 12-20-2003 06:48 PM       View Profile for SmartChick   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit SmartChick's Home Page   View IP for SmartChick

I really like this, Balladeer. Thank you for reposting it. I hope you have a very nice Christmas, and a very Happy New Year.
Deb Lynne
Member
since 08-19-99
Posts 181
Where blue skies meet blue oce


7 posted 12-20-2003 08:00 PM       View Profile for Deb Lynne   Email Deb Lynne   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Deb Lynne

If this doesn't put you in the Holiday spirit..nothing will !  Merry Christmas, MM!
skyshine
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since 02-07-2002
Posts 3337
Beneath the northern stars


8 posted 12-20-2003 08:05 PM       View Profile for skyshine   Email skyshine   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit skyshine's Home Page   View IP for skyshine

That was TOO funny! I love parodies.

~sky

Dreams last for so long, even after you're gone...
~Jewel

iliana
Member Patricius
since 12-05-2003
Posts 13488
USA


9 posted 12-20-2003 08:41 PM       View Profile for iliana   Email iliana   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for iliana

Balladeer -- what a total hoot!  Too bad I did not get to read this last year!  Soooooo silly -- thanks!
garysgirl
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Member Seraphic
since 09-29-2002
Posts 20064
Florida, USA


10 posted 12-20-2003 08:47 PM       View Profile for garysgirl   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit garysgirl's Home Page   View IP for garysgirl

Balladeer, I loved this as much this year as I did last year. I've got to go find the one that I wrote last year about your decorated car, now. LOL  
Hugs,

[This message has been edited by garysgirl (12-20-2003 08:47 PM).]

Nightshade
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since 08-31-2001
Posts 14673
just out of reach


11 posted 12-20-2003 09:00 PM       View Profile for Nightshade   Email Nightshade   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Nightshade's Home Page   View IP for Nightshade

LOL...I love this!! Balladeer, you and your buddies are simply crazy - and we wouldn't want you any other way. Hugs, Chris
Balladeer
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12 posted 12-20-2003 09:09 PM       View Profile for Balladeer   Email Balladeer   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Balladeer's Home Page   View IP for Balladeer

Alicat...we keep changing identities - makes it more interesting that way

Enchantress...same to you, Nancy. May the new year be magical for you!!

Sunshine...yes, it appears my perspiring duo is back for a bit...merry Christmas!!

Sy..."..and awaayyy we go!" Happy holidays, Seymour!

Magnus....bummer. With all the love poetry you been writin', I had my hopes up!!

SmartChick...I wish you the same. You're a wonderful lady, Sue. I hope the new year is special for you...

DebLynn...it may make Toerag HIT the holiday spirits! Merry Christmas, NC lady!!!

skyshine..then you love Toerag...he IS a parody! Glad you enjoyed...thank you!

iliana...happy you liked it...maybe I'll repost my Toerag the Mud Man!!

garysgirl...oh, yes! I remember that one. Bring it on!!
Balladeer
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since 06-05-99
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Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA


13 posted 12-20-2003 09:10 PM       View Profile for Balladeer   Email Balladeer   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Balladeer's Home Page   View IP for Balladeer

Nightshade..certifiable loonies they are...I'M the sane one!! Have a fantastic Christmas!!!
Titia Geertman
Member Ascendant
since 05-07-2001
Posts 5297
Netherlands


14 posted 12-21-2003 01:32 PM       View Profile for Titia Geertman   Email Titia Geertman   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Titia Geertman's Home Page   View IP for Titia Geertman


I'm always happy when I see your name
Then I know nothing will be the same
You make me laugh sweet Balladeer
But not Toerag and LngJhnAg I fear

It was a pleasure to read your rhyme
Because you were gone to long a time
You made my Christmas joyfull this year
Thank you for your 'songs' Balladeer

LOL I knew I would be laughing.

Hugs and knuffels, Titia

Like scattered leaves...my words will flow

ecrivan
Member Elite
since 12-10-2001
Posts 3983
my own state


15 posted 12-21-2003 01:57 PM       View Profile for ecrivan   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit ecrivan's Home Page   View IP for ecrivan

this one has me smiling..happy holidays, long live this goofy verse!

Pilgrimage
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since 12-04-2001
Posts 3905
Texas, USA


16 posted 12-21-2003 07:55 PM       View Profile for Pilgrimage   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Pilgrimage

Merry Christmas!

Nan (Pilgrim variety)

Corinne
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since 10-28-1999
Posts 5247
state of confusion


17 posted 12-21-2003 08:24 PM       View Profile for Corinne   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Corinne

rofl! Thanks for this, 'Deer!

And happy holidays to you!


Corinne
LngJhnAg
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since 07-23-99
Posts 3654
Boot+Kitty=Poetry in motion


18 posted 12-21-2003 09:18 PM       View Profile for LngJhnAg   Email LngJhnAg   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for LngJhnAg

Soooooooo, Titia - I don't make you laugh, eh?  You WILL rue the day you said that - heh.

As for you, 'Deer - Nicely done.  I especially like the last one.  You've inspired me (again).
Sadelite
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since 10-11-2003
Posts 2561


19 posted 12-21-2003 09:33 PM       View Profile for Sadelite   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Sadelite

Why is it that good things always come in threes? 3 Billy Goats, Three Bears, Three Little Pigs, The Three Passion Nuts?  You have fame along with the greats!  Merry Christmas you, Silly People!
              
                 Sadie  
                      
christian
Member
since 12-18-2002
Posts 341


20 posted 12-21-2003 10:48 PM       View Profile for christian   Email christian   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for christian


and among the joyous holiday tone,
psuedo-'rivalries' still exist.

too funny.

merry christmas to both of you.

Toerag
Member Ascendant
since 07-29-99
Posts 5839
Ala bam a


21 posted 12-22-2003 07:30 AM       View Profile for Toerag   Email Toerag   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Toerag

Yes folks, you can order this CD or Cassette for only $19.95...just think...have wonderful Christmas carols all year long...and if you order now, you will also receive the Ronco rotissire....watch Balladeer get roasted, evenly, just "shut it and forget it".......
Aimster
Member Elite
since 02-19-2000
Posts 4367
Charlotte, NC


22 posted 12-22-2003 03:00 PM       View Profile for Aimster   Email Aimster   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Aimster

this is hillarious! you all crack me up!
happy holidays to you sweet Deer...

Toerag, I loved your comeback!

Happy Holidays,
Amy

"When life gives you sorrow, may you experience the spirit of laughter"

the_loner_23
Member Ascendant
since 06-08-2002
Posts 5670
Jacksonville, Florida, USA


23 posted 12-22-2003 03:05 PM       View Profile for the_loner_23   Email the_loner_23   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for the_loner_23

ROTFLMAO!!!!!!!!!!!! This is funny.

Cold hands means a warm heart

Mysteria
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since 03-07-2001
Posts 19652
British Columbia, Canada


24 posted 12-14-2006 02:53 AM       View Profile for Mysteria   Email Mysteria   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Mysteria

Well I am sitting here waiting with my spiked eggnog     What no Christmas duel?
 
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