A sane mind full of insane thoughtz

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Open Poetry #30

A sane mind full of insane thoughtz

DarkAngel73554
Junior Member

since 2003-12-10

Posts 10
somewhere in tha middle of nowhere

0 posted 2003-12-19 12:16 PM

They are telling me things again
They are remindin me of my insecurities
And my imperfectionz

they rant and rave
They are slowly drivin me insane
They constantly reenact my mental pain

They make me feel so afraid
They make me mentally age
They refuse ta let me turn tha page
i wish they would juz go away
but they are there everyday

They cause me pain
i try and cut it away
but eventually that method
began ta fade

i wish it would rain
i wish i could go bac ta bein sane
i wish i could really smile
but i cant they won't have
such a thing allowed

i am tha only one who hearz them howl
i wish i could be happy at least one time
i laugh and smile but slowly i am dyin
itz invisible but im cryin

but thez voicez jus keep whining
i neva knew i could hate the sound
of my own voice.

~!tichina keepin it trill against all oddz~!

iliana
Member Patricius

since 2003-12-05

Posts 13434
USA

1 posted 2003-12-19 12:41 PM

"i am tha only one who hearz them howl
i wish i could be happy at least one time
i laugh and smile but slowly i am dyin
itz invisible but im cryin"

The rhythm of this was dramatic to me and I quite like the poem, especially the lines above. BEEEEEEE well.

SuperGlueRyan
Junior Member

since 2003-06-16

Posts 45
Possum Kingdom

2 posted 2003-12-19 02:10 PM

I have to say, I didn't like your first piece; but if I have correctly understood this write, I like it a lot. Interesting point of view. Nicely done.
~Ryan

Allysa

Senior Member

since 1999-11-09

Posts 1952
In an upside-down garden

3 posted 2003-12-19 02:46 PM

I have to agree with Ryan, while I wasn't necessarily impressed with your first piece, I felt like this one was actually very interesting and I quite enjoyed reading it.

DarkAngel73554
Junior Member

since 2003-12-10

Posts 10
somewhere in tha middle of nowhere

4 posted 2003-12-20 12:47 PM

~!glad ta get feedback but thiz will be tha laz piece that i submit here becuz until i started postin here i never realized how diverse my topics were and several of them arean't allowed at thiz site so ive decided thiz forum izn't for me becuz i refuse ta limit my self~!

glad ya 2 didn't like my firz piece itz my fave even more now ~!

~!tichina keepin it trill against all oddz~!

[This message has been edited by DarkAngel73554 (12-20-2003 12:48 PM).]

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