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Open Poetry #30
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Chamomile by a Candle
| Open Poetry #30 |
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Chamomile by a Candle |
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satin water passion Junior Member
since 2003-12-14
Posts 12Following the moon |
A little something I pictured in a meditation. I'l leave the subject up to the reader. Criticism isalways welcomed. I hope you enjoy it! CHAMOMILE BY A CANDLE A mind's flowing canopy, a lush luminescent green Quivers and gives fluidly as it revolves above Below, one tranquil blue candle, as calm an soothing as the belly of a shadowed midnight cloud Gives way to a flame The sedative blue pillar pulses a small fire Beating like a heart to replace dismal with its lively heat Poised on a stone, so the yellows in the flame and the undertones in the green heights Can cohere, mate, and weave to touch down The wax reaches the stone in rivulets The hot perspiration of its work Nearby grass around the stone Becomes clumped together with the sweat The acute light contrasts to pierce the night A great distance, as some sense of pride The dead plain the candle rests on and its bright above reach for each other with igneous finger tips Channeled and obtainable The euphoria, once a tide through a telescope Pours down freely like a water fall To the candle's lonely grid Washed away by its achievements The glow is snuffed out in its own pool But the waterfall remains Filling the plains with motion A match book, less one full Takes it's place on the mahogany tabletop And such a thought induces sleep, suffices Leaving the orange prescription bottle untouched ~Andrew Mays |
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| © Copyright 2003 Andrew Mays - All Rights Reserved | |||
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steavenr Member Elite
since 2003-11-17
Posts 4058 |
really great write. filled with beautiful imagery, lots of emotion, flows so well. Loved your use of phrases like: "tide through a telescope" really liked the ending stanza. |
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Greeneyes  
since 2000-09-09
Posts 9903In Your Poetic Mind |
one tranquil blue candle, as calm an soothing as the belly of a shadowed midnight cloud'''' ~~ this is truly beautiful.....I loved the poem in whole, the above, is for me so haunting....almost as if lostlovers, are waiting to be reunited.....I could picture this scene unfolding by the ocean... ~~ Lauren~ ~~**~~**~~**~~**~~ May the miracle of Christmas touch your life with special blessing H A P P Y H O L I D A Y S [This message has been edited by Greeneyes (12-16-2003 11:01 PM).] |
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satin water passion Junior Member
since 2003-12-14
Posts 12Following the moon |
Thank you, stevenr. I'm glad you saw imagery in it, thats what I have the most fun working with. Peace Andrew |
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satin water passion Junior Member
since 2003-12-14
Posts 12Following the moon |
green eyes, you rock! thanks!! ~andrew |
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Laney Member
since 2002-12-18
Posts 85Illinois |
just reading the tranquil phrases in your poem soothes me. I enjoyed this piece very much. thank you |
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Marge Tindal
since 1999-11-06
Posts 42384Florida's Foreverly Shores |
Andrew~ Welcome to Passions~ This is a soothing read ... beautifully scented~ *Huglets*  ~*Marge*~ ~*When the heart grieves over what it has lost, |
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Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-05
Posts 25505Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA |
This exceeds cleverness, Andrew, truly an excellent piece of writing. Some of these lines are so well done I sat here smiling as I watched the scene, er, unfold. Welcome...I look forward to more  |
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