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Open Poetry #30
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satin water passion
Junior Member
since 2003-12-14
Posts 12
Following the moon

0 posted 2003-12-14 08:50 PM


Hey all. This is my first post so I really hope you like it. It's not my favorite, so if you criticize this write, I'l apreciate it, and more than likely, Il agree with you.  


NOMADIC
Nothing can be held onto
Life's the vine that grows on trees
A little more it withers
And falls, heavy of its leaves

Deeper it tried to grow
And more and more it spread
Despite a lack of stronger roots
Caused by a sickness in its head

Now roots grow on in daydreams
And the leaves do not remain
Still creeping up the same old tree
Held inside a picture frame

One day I might find
My white picket fence
But no one told me where to look
And life is now past tense

Along the way I found
Poppies growing from the ground
They never really worked that well
But laughed a pleasant sound

~Andrew Mays



© Copyright 2003 Andrew Mays - All Rights Reserved
Estel
Junior Member
since 2003-12-10
Posts 22

1 posted 2003-12-14 08:58 PM


Welcome to this board! First off, I have to say your name is great--sounds real cool.

I really enjoyed reading your poem-- my favorite lines:

A little more it withers
And falls, heavy of its leaves

This poem was very quaint. Excellent first post!

ice
Member Elite
since 2003-05-17
Posts 3404
Pennsylvania
2 posted 2003-12-14 09:09 PM


Satin...Welcome to passions....:-)
I agree with Estel, excellent first post...The poems theme carries through to the end..the rythm breaks in a few places, but all in all a good poem....

________ice
><>

Enchantress
Member Empyrean
since 2001-08-14
Posts 35113
Canada eh.
3 posted 2003-12-14 09:13 PM


WELCOME TO PASSIONS ANDREW!
Very much enjoyed your first post.
I look forward to seeing more of your work.
~Smiles & Hugs, Nancy~

~Let peace begin with me...    

Obscurity
Member
since 2003-12-04
Posts 153
In A Melancholic Dream
4 posted 2003-12-14 09:14 PM


Welcome to PiP, a very nice poem indeed.
Goodknight
Member Elite
since 2002-06-15
Posts 2386
Ohio, USA
5 posted 2003-12-14 09:24 PM


welcome to passions - great poem I thought - hope to read lots more - Paul
Midnitesun
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Empyrean
since 2001-05-18
Posts 28647
Gaia
6 posted 2003-12-14 09:50 PM


I enjoyed this unique write very much, and look forward to more from you. Welcome to Passions.
I love poppies, and also like that pen name.

Greeneyes
Deputy Moderator 50 ToursDeputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-09-09
Posts 9903
In Your Poetic Mind
7 posted 2003-12-14 10:27 PM


Now roots grow on in daydreams
And the leaves do not remain
Still creeping up the same old tree''''


wow do I relate to this...for many different reasons....


Greetings and Welcome to Passions...we are excited you have joined our circle of friends, and family....enjoy your self...and take a look around Passions has much to offer...Welcome Aboard...  

please check your email for a special greeting


Kindly

Greeneyes~


~~**~~**~~**~~**~~
May the miracle of
Christmas touch your
life with special blessing

H A P P Y  H O L I D A Y S





[This message has been edited by Greeneyes (12-14-2003 10:28 PM).]

Antonio_L
Member
since 2003-12-01
Posts 110
NorthEast USA
8 posted 2003-12-14 10:56 PM


"Along the way I found
Poppies growing from the ground
They never really worked that well
But laughed a pleasant sound."


Andrew, I've only been posting here a couple of days but I'd like to say welcome too. I really love that poem, and the way you have with words You remembered the poppies, you really remembered the poppies.

That's just about...  perfect...

Tony.  

ThisDiamond
Member Rara Avis
since 2002-02-22
Posts 9353
Michigan, USA
9 posted 2003-12-14 11:11 PM


Welcome to Passions.

A good first post here.
The images I captured were of restlessness, and sometimes hopelessness...giving in to those feelings, and standing up to clear air.

A positive feel. Look forward to more from you. ThisDiamond

Kahlil
Senior Member
since 2003-04-12
Posts 1881

10 posted 2003-12-14 11:18 PM


Great poem!  I love the last verse.  Welcome to Passions!  ~K~
satin water passion
Junior Member
since 2003-12-14
Posts 12
Following the moon
11 posted 2003-12-15 07:36 AM


Thanks everyone! Nice to meet you all. I've read through alot of poetry on here, and I'm amazed at some of the talent I've seen. Im glad I found this site.

I'l be seeing ya'
Andrew

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