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Antonio_L
Member

since 2003-12-01

Posts 110
NorthEast USA

0 posted 2003-12-14 07:22 AM

A ROSE AND A POEM

Smartly dressed and beautiful, slightly reddish hair,
a spring in her step, sweet smile on her face, eyes deep green and clear.
I fell in love with her that day, I wanted her so much,
craved for her attention, soft words and gentle touch.
I set my cap for milady, and knew I'd win her heart,
a life for us together, till death we would not part.

She was awfully intelligent, learned and clever,
she had her pick of any man, I knew I'd need a lever.
So I sat me down one nice night and I wrote for her a poem,
that told her how I worshipped her, 'twas time that this be known.
And I told her how I'd care for her, for the rest of her dear life,
there was nothing more I wanted than to make her my loving wife.

I sealed my words of love and wrapped them 'round a rose,
red as her lips, sweet as her breath, I knew that this would close
the case for my declaration, of my undying love for her,
and how sweet it would be for all time, our lives to spend together.
I took it to her house that eve, where she met me with that smile,
and I sat there as she read it, quietly praying all the while.

She read it through, I held my breath, and I found I couldn't speak,
her parted lips, that flush on her face, and the tear on her soft cheek.
She turned to me and she took my hands and she bowed her head and said,
"Oh Tony, I am so honored, that I would share your wedding bed.
But I am your art teacher, and I'm sure this would be seen,
as wrong, for I am aged twenty-nine, and you are but thirteen!"

Antonio_L

nakdthoughts
Member Laureate

since 2000-10-29

Posts 19200
Between the Lines

1 posted 2003-12-14 07:25 AM

enjoying your words
M

Sunshine

Administrator

Member Empyrean

since 1999-06-25

Posts 63354
Listening to every heart

2 posted 2003-12-14 07:42 AM

Antonio...
at such an early age
you exhibited great skill
in making a blush
of a rose...

Well done!

Seymour Tabin
Member Empyrean

since 1999-07-07

Posts 31720
Tamarac Fla

3 posted 2003-12-14 07:55 AM

Antonio,
Happened to me a couple of times. Well done enjoyed.

Enchantress
Member Empyrean

since 2001-08-14

Posts 35113
Canada eh.

4 posted 2003-12-14 09:18 AM

Oh how beautiful is this???
One of the finest pieces I have read here inn PIP in a long tiome!
~Smiles & Hugs, Nancy~

~Let peace begin with me...

Earth Angel
Member Empyrean

since 2002-08-27

Posts 40215
Realms of Light

5 posted 2003-12-14 09:32 AM

Oh, Antonio! This was delightful beyond words!

Warm welcoming hugs,
Earth Angel

Aimster
Member Elite

since 2000-02-19

Posts 4297
Charlotte, NC

6 posted 2003-12-14 10:29 AM

tony,

i loved this, every single line...you
had me from beginning to end..great write!
take care and happy holidays,
Amy

"love is like a butterfly--
if you chase it,
it will surely fly away,instead
hold it close and watch it grow into
something beautiful"
~me~

ThisDiamond
Member Rara Avis

since 2002-02-22

Posts 9353
Michigan, USA

7 posted 2003-12-14 10:34 AM

Bravo!
Excellent write.
ThisDiamond

Martie

Moderator

Member Empyrean

since 1999-09-21

Posts 28049
California

8 posted 2003-12-14 10:50 AM

Antonio

So tender hearted is the love of youth. I so enjoyed this scene from yours!

Antonio_L
Member

since 2003-12-01

Posts 110
NorthEast USA

9 posted 2003-12-14 02:02 PM

Thank you all, NakedThoughts, Sunshine, Seymour Tabin, ThisDiamond, Enchantress,Earth Angel, Aimster and Martie. I have no idea how I am to catch up with you all, perhaps I can respond in my private library as you write. I get a chance to drop back here once in a while on the weekends but it is not enough and weekdays are so filled with business.

I confess to being a little bad this time. I knew you were all expecting another poem like "Seduced," so I decided to slip this one in. I have others like this but I have more serious ones too, and I can see it is time I started in writing some more.

Have a wonderful rest of the weekend.

Tony. J

Mistletoe Angel

Member Empyrean

since 2000-12-17

Posts 32816
Portland, Oregon

10 posted 2003-12-14 07:13 PM

(smiles) Awwwwwwwww, I understand just how you feel, dearest friend, it is perfectly natural to have feelings like this and though you may be young for her, you will find that very special young woman who will be so happy to have a loving, sensitive friend, you! (big angel hugs) God Bless You, sweet friend, we all love you so much! You have such a beautiful heart, sweet Antonio, thank you for sharing!

May love and light always shine upon you!

Love,
Noah Eaton

"You'll find something that's enough to keep you
But if the bright lights don't receive you
You should turn yourself around and come back home" MB20

Patricia
Member Elite

since 2003-04-06

Posts 2160
Missouri

11 posted 2003-12-14 07:25 PM

A lovely write that I so enjoyed this evening.

Patricia

NewEnglandlazurlu
Member Rara Avis

since 2002-01-04

Posts 7470
A Mountain Paradise

12 posted 2003-12-14 07:53 PM

Antonio, you've brightened my snowy evening.

A wonderful, wonderfu write.

Hugs, Marti

'You cannot shake hands with a clenched fist.'
PEACE!!!
Indira Gandhi

JamesMichael
Member Empyrean

since 1999-11-16

Posts 33336
Kapolei, Hawaii, USA

13 posted 2003-12-14 08:14 PM

Starting kind of young huh...James

Ratleader

Member Rara Avis

since 2003-01-23

Posts 7026
Visiting Earth on a Guest Pass

14 posted 2003-12-14 08:57 PM

Ah, the memories of pink cheeks...our own!

...your lack of affectation gives this real charm...well done.

~~(¸¸¸¸ºº> ~~(¸¸¸¸ºº> ~~(¸¸ ¸¸ºº> ~~~(¸¸ER¸¸ºº>
______________Ratleader______________

satin water passion
Junior Member

since 2003-12-14

Posts 12
Following the moon

15 posted 2003-12-14 09:13 PM

Very nice. Well said, and I like how the tension builds up to the dissapointment the kid feels in the end. Man, that feeling sucks!

peace n love
Andrew

Antonio_L
Member

since 2003-12-01

Posts 110
NorthEast USA

16 posted 2003-12-14 09:54 PM

She was my art teacher...I remember painting all kinds of weird stuff, anything to get her attention, to have her lean over me so I could smell her sweet woman smell. Hey I was hooked!

Starting young? Gimme a break, at thirteen I was "all growed up." Thanks for the kind words Mistletoe Angel, Patricia, Marti, James Michael, Rat Leader (interesting handle) and Satin Water Passion. Oh my, the energy around here has to be experienced to be believed.

Patricia, I was looking for some of your work and I could only find you in that place where they do critiques. Now I don't know anything about the finer points of poetry, I just do it for fun, to tell stories. But I sure like yours and I can see I have much to learn from you, your choice of words. You are in absolute command, and you make the language WORK for you! I envy you. Lots...

Tony.

steavenr
Member Elite

since 2003-11-17

Posts 4058

17 posted 2003-12-15 12:37 PM

Tony, enjoyable write. For me, it was my first grade teacher. Hated the day when she came back from Christmas break with a new name. I was destroyed.

Alicat
Member Elite

since 1999-05-23

Posts 4094
Coastal Texas

18 posted 2003-12-15 12:45 PM

Very nicely written with a smooth flow to the meter and cadence, and rather a pleasure to read aloud.

Alicat

iliana
Member Patricius

since 2003-12-05

Posts 13434
USA

19 posted 2003-12-15 12:46 PM

I loved it! I have a 14-year-old boy -- I can just imagine! ! !

BluesSerenade
Member Patricius

since 2001-10-23

Posts 10549
By the Seaside

20 posted 2003-12-15 12:56 PM

Aww the innocence of youth!!
What a wonderful time to be alive it was!

I am trying to picture the look on both your faces, as you watched her while she read your poem.

Thanks for this sweet story telling, Antonio~

martiniat8
Senior Member

since 2003-06-21

Posts 897
Prague, Bohemia, Czech Republic

21 posted 2003-12-15 03:47 AM

I could really relate to this, brings up a good memory. All but the last part. I know a very good 13 yr old writer. Thanks for sharing

WannabePoet
Member

since 2003-12-10

Posts 62
New York USA

22 posted 2003-12-15 06:20 AM

Excellent Write! I enjoyed the journey, ahhhhh and I love the twist ending.

Greeneyes

Member Rara Avis

since 2000-09-09

Posts 9903
In Your Poetic Mind

23 posted 2003-12-15 08:58 AM

this is ever lovely, you will and do fit in so nicely here...thank you for this....

Lauren~

~~**~~**~~**~~**~~
May the miracle of
Christmas touch your
life with special blessing

H A P P Y H O L I D A Y S

LeeJ
Member Patricius

since 2003-06-19

Posts 13296

24 posted 2003-12-15 09:08 AM

this was excellent, couldn't stop reading and kept thinking...wow, a happy ending and beginning, but alas, when I read the last lines...a smile bloomed all over my heart, as I to recalled how intensly I loved my history teacher...awwww shucks...

Wonderfully written, very much enjoyed. Bravo! Held my attention from beginning to end.

Antonio_L
Member

since 2003-12-01

Posts 110
NorthEast USA

25 posted 2003-12-15 10:37 AM

Gee whiz, you guys are enough to turn a man's head!

Thanks so much to, Streavenr, iliana, Blue Serenade, Martiniat8, WannabePoet, Lauren and LeeJ.

Streaven, after your little revelation I think we are all waiting for a poem about that nice lady.

Back to work, I see you all later.

Tony.

[This message has been edited by Antonio_L (12-15-2003 11:30 AM).]

EvocativeVerse2
Senior Member

since 2003-09-10

Posts 1279

26 posted 2003-12-15 11:48 AM

Well done Antonio. I liked this one too. Kepp it up my friend.

Remember, if you're not part of the future, you're history!

Antonio_L
Member

since 2003-12-01

Posts 110
NorthEast USA

27 posted 2003-12-15 02:45 PM

Thank you Evocative Verse2, you are most generous, and I will try.

Tony.

Suetang
Member Ascendant

since 2001-03-07

Posts 5187
Melbourne, Australia

28 posted 2003-12-16 09:51 PM

Hello Antonio

I thought this was absolutely fabulous, and I especially liked the ending which left me with a smile. I'll look forward to reading more of your wonderful words.

Take care........Sue

I am in motion
I am blue
Love is an ocean
I'm anchored in you
- Shawn Mullins

Antonio_L
Member

since 2003-12-01

Posts 110
NorthEast USA

29 posted 2003-12-16 10:12 PM

Why thank you Sue, that was nice of you to say. I have been working hard behind the scenes in my forums and just noticed the email notification that you had tippy-toed in here. Our forums are also a weekly E-Zine and I am editing stories for it now.

I have been in your beautiful city and ridden the trams. I photographed all the bridges on the Yarra River and one of them won me a Kodak competition back up in Sydney.

Nice to have met you.

Tony.

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