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Aimster
Member Elite

since 2000-02-19

Posts 4297
Charlotte, NC

0 posted 2003-12-13 07:45 PM

To My Biological Mother

How is it that you still affect me so deep
The day before I'm to see you I can find no sleep
Tears drench me, the rain slapping against the window pane
I sit here crying and writing, wondering am I slowly going insane

I wish I no longer loved you, but truth is I do
You are a part of me, no matter if it makes me blue
You play these games with me, snapping my heart like a stick
I'm starting to begin to wonder if they are right, and you are just sick?

You've held such a power over me, for as long as I can remember
Now it all comes down to a fateful day in mid December
Please, Becky for the love of God, let me go, or give me a reason to stay
As I sit here on this cold lonely night, chasing the demons away

"love is like a butterfly--
if you chase it,
it will surely fly away,instead
hold it close and watch it grow into
something beautiful"
~me~

BluesSerenade
Member Patricius

since 2001-10-23

Posts 10549
By the Seaside

1 posted 2003-12-13 08:05 PM

Amy dear, I am so sorry you are feeling so sadly,
and that what should be a happy time is ripping you apart inside.

Big hugs to you, and please know that I care.

Aimster
Member Elite

since 2000-02-19

Posts 4297
Charlotte, NC

2 posted 2003-12-13 08:06 PM

thanks lori,

your words mean more to me
than you know!
happy holidays to you hon.
take care,
Amy

"love is like a butterfly--
if you chase it,
it will surely fly away,instead
hold it close and watch it grow into
something beautiful"
~me~

passing shadows
Member Empyrean

since 1999-08-26

Posts 45577
displaced

3 posted 2003-12-13 09:59 PM

Amy, things work themselves out over time...

personally, from my own experience in being adopted, she already let you go...like mine did 34 years ago.

I will never know the reason and I don't really care to.

I hate to see you in such pain over this...

continue on your journey, and I hope you find what you wish to find...and I'll be here if you need me.

hugs
Dixie

Greeneyes

Member Rara Avis

since 2000-09-09

Posts 9903
In Your Poetic Mind

4 posted 2003-12-13 10:57 PM

OH Gads you know I know.....HUGSSSSS pretty lady.....you deserve so much peace and more....luv ya hon....sleep well...

Lauren~

~~**~~**~~**~~**~~
May the miracle of
Christmas touch your
life with special blessing

H A P P Y H O L I D A Y S

Jason Lyle
Senior Member

since 2003-02-07

Posts 1438
With my darkling

5 posted 2003-12-13 11:01 PM

A beautiful and painful write, and suddenly personal.Nice job.

Jason

Aimster
Member Elite

since 2000-02-19

Posts 4297
Charlotte, NC

6 posted 2003-12-14 04:29 PM

thank you all for your wonderful
replies from the heart...they mean
so much to me during this very difficult
time for me...

"some wounds will not heal
no matter how much time passes by
I'm left alone with my thoughts
As I sit here and cry"

happy holidays,
amy

"love is like a butterfly--
if you chase it,
it will surely fly away,instead
hold it close and watch it grow into
something beautiful"
~me~

Mistletoe Angel

Member Empyrean

since 2000-12-17

Posts 32816
Portland, Oregon

7 posted 2003-12-14 07:17 PM

(big hugggsssssss) God Bless You, sweet friend, I'm so sorry to hear that you're feeling this way, sweet friend, I send many angel comfort hugs your way in hope you and Becky can work everyhing out together happily, God Bless You, we all love you so much! You have such a beautiful heart, sweet Amy, thank you for sharing!

May love and light always shine upon you!

Love,
Noah Eaton

"You'll find something that's enough to keep you
But if the bright lights don't receive you
You should turn yourself around and come back home" MB20

ParisGrl
Senior Member

since 2000-06-01

Posts 610

8 posted 2003-12-22 10:36 AM

Amy,

I'm so sorry hon that she put you through this.. Just know that I will always be here for you.

Happy Holidays,
Laura

jwesley
Member Rara Avis

since 2000-04-30

Posts 7563
Spring, Texas

9 posted 2003-12-22 11:19 AM

I think love is the nature of life, my friend,and rather than fight what we feel, for whatever reason, we should be thankful for the feeling, and though it is, in many instances, painful to those so blessed, it is a gift not all have.

I believe when we love, accept it's power, give it to another inspite of all they do to diminish it's warmth, we become much stronger than they, our fire burns much brighter than their's and we feel the true nature, the power of love in our life . . .
and we consequently hurt less than we did before.

I truly don't know your situation but from what I read between the lines, I think using your love to warm your soul rather than fighting it's being, will enable you to accept the situation as is, or eventually walk away from it - either way, I think you'll be more at peace within.

Sending you a shoulder, a hug, a hand to hold...

jwesley

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