Open Poetry #30 |
Cut |
Kevin
since 1999-11-02
Posts 729Torrington, Ct, Usa |
Cut As I catch her eyes, stubbornly blue, she drops them to the ground. Strangers drone past us, faceless, like black and white extras- 1950’s Hollywood. I want to be Dean, push the moment- “What do you expect to find on that train?” It topples over, doors hiss closed, the backdrop swallows her- blue gives in to gray. [This message has been edited by Kevin (12-12-2003 12:45 AM).] |
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© Copyright 2003 Kevin Bednarz - All Rights Reserved | |||
passing shadows Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577displaced |
nice... |
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SuperGlueRyan Junior Member
since 2003-06-16
Posts 45Possum Kingdom |
Very nice. A shy moment that is let slide. |
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Mysteria
since 2001-03-07
Posts 18328British Columbia, Canada |
So nice to see you back here writing. This kind of reminded me of the commericial on t.v. where the girl writes her name in her breath on a window on the subway train and every man but the one she was attracted to has a pen A missed opportunity really is a shame in such a short lifetime. Well done Kevin. |
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Midnitesun
since 2001-05-18
Posts 28647Gaia |
you write a fleeting encounter scene well, and 'cut' was a perfect title to this |
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inkedgoddess Member Rara Avis
since 2002-11-19
Posts 7392Ohio |
the trucker was looking up my skirt on the red light and then it ended quickly as it began...call it love for a moment |
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BluesSerenade Member Patricius
since 2001-10-23
Posts 10549By the Seaside |
As I catch her eyes, stubbornly blue, she drops them to the ground. Strangers drone past us, faceless, like black and white extras- 1950’s Hollywood. That pretty much wraps it up and says it all. Good stuff, Kevin~ |
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