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Open Poetry #30
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Sadelite
Member Elite
since 2003-10-11
Posts 2519


0 posted 2003-12-09 11:52 PM



It was something so intense she had said
That it scattered direction like a bomb.
I didn’t know where I was going
and didn’t know where I’d been.
I must have been some place other than my head
Because real lights glared behind me
Projecting the shadow of my car ahead.

Lost in dark on the same familiar road
which at least ten thousand times I alone, had driven.
How could I not see depression sharply hidden?
Eyes teared of her ugly, hardening load.

When had last breath of her self esteem expired?  
Always,  she had been the vibrant cocky sun,
Who stirred jolly laughter through every  one.

Disoriented in sense and time,
Lost in thoughts--even which road I drove.
While dreading sounds roared in head,
I wondered if I'd responded words
or if in silence they'd been said.
I know I must have moved somewhere
in a place outside my brain-

Because...

on my car
in the garage
I racked up thirty-seven miles,
forty-five minutes,
And have a windshield
     full of rain.



[This message has been edited by Sadelite (12-11-2003 02:48 PM).]

© Copyright 2003 Sadelite - All Rights Reserved
Saunni
Senior Member
since 2000-07-11
Posts 1777
West Virginia
1 posted 2003-12-10 12:01 PM


This took my breath... just the way you put this all together. My goodness this blew me away. Awesome and the title, too!

Sauni:)The Only Time I See The Sun Is When I'm Within That Vanilla Breeze.The Only Time I'm One With The Sun Is When He Shelters Me From The Rain.

Sadelite
Member Elite
since 2003-10-11
Posts 2519

2 posted 2003-12-10 12:07 PM


Saunni,
   Thanks for your kindness.   Sometimes, I can write, and other times I can't!   This was inspired today by a brassy friend of mine, of whom I have great concern. Perhaps that is why you felt it as you do.
                            Sadelite

[This message has been edited by Sadelite (12-10-2003 12:08 AM).]

Kahlil
Senior Member
since 2003-04-12
Posts 1881

3 posted 2003-12-10 01:47 AM


Wow!  I like the way you wrote this!  And the ending really made me feel like "I Know I Must Have Been Somewhere".  ~K~
passing shadows
Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577
displaced
4 posted 2003-12-10 03:29 AM


very cool write...and I know of those miles and rain on the windshield
Sadelite
Member Elite
since 2003-10-11
Posts 2519

5 posted 2003-12-10 06:40 AM


Kahlil,
    I appreciate your comments.  Thank you for taking time to read this.
                           Sadelite

iliana
Member Patricius
since 2003-12-05
Posts 13434
USA
6 posted 2003-12-10 11:36 PM


Really from the heart, I could tell.  Especially liked the ending.  Be well....
90


Sadelite
Member Elite
since 2003-10-11
Posts 2519

7 posted 2003-12-11 07:06 AM


passing shadow,
    Your poetry shows you know of those miles and rainy windshields; I so enjoy reading it--it's kind of reminiscent it seems, showing you going on...  I really like seeing the growth of you (or the person
about whom you write) in your poetry.
Thanks for stopping in again.  It's always great to see you.
                       Sadelite

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