navwin » Archives » Open Poetry #30 » It is winter, afterall
Open Poetry #30
Post A Reply Post New Topic It is winter, afterall Go to Previous / Newer Topic Back to Topic List Go to Next / Older Topic
Duncan
Member Ascendant
since 2001-08-07
Posts 5455


0 posted 2003-12-08 08:55 PM



There is a softness
to snow
when it’s newly fallen

much like love.

That softness

within days
melts,
freezes
until it echoes
cold,
hard
through bare white night
as grinding crunch
of wheel against curb.

It is winter, afterall

and much like love,
that softness
too soon seasons
into ice.

[This message has been edited by Duncan (12-08-2003 08:56 PM).]

© Copyright 2003 Duncan - All Rights Reserved
Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049
California
1 posted 2003-12-08 08:57 PM


Duncan...I know it feels like winter, but it won't officially be winter until the 22nd. Liked your poem!  
Enchantress
Member Empyrean
since 2001-08-14
Posts 35113
Canada eh.
2 posted 2003-12-08 09:01 PM


"It is winter, afterall

and much like love,
that softness
too soon seasons
into ice."

Damn!
.......just damn.

Hugs~

~ Let peace begin with me...

vandana
Deputy Moderator 5 Tours
Member Patricius
since 1999-10-22
Posts 10463
USA
3 posted 2003-12-08 09:03 PM


nice
Midnitesun
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Empyrean
since 2001-05-18
Posts 28647
Gaia
4 posted 2003-12-08 10:16 PM


I need to turn up my heater after reading this one. LOL, it snowed here today.
Love and snow. Yep, 'tis true, they have much in common.
Need a cup of hot tea and a shoulder to cry on?

steavenr
Member Elite
since 2003-11-17
Posts 4058

5 posted 2003-12-08 10:37 PM


Nice imagery. Well done.
Janet Marie
Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554

6 posted 2003-12-08 10:38 PM


until it echoes
cold,
hard
through bare white night

============================
talk about frigid...yayayaya
this cuts like a jagged edge icicle... as always your succinct pen packs a punch
and this one is distilled on the rocks
Well porch pup...we seem to be on the same wavelength...wrote something along this same muse....
(still in the editing stage) yayaya  
hey...it takes some of us longer to distill then others...


I can remember Forever December,
The center of dying ... the heart of the pain.
The stars surround me ... the cold astounds me.

Tabitha's Secret

passing shadows
Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577
displaced
7 posted 2003-12-09 03:06 AM


very true...a sad thing
A Romantic Heart
Member Ascendant
since 1999-09-03
Posts 5496
Forever In Your Heart
8 posted 2003-12-09 03:47 AM


Loved it!
Greeneyes
Deputy Moderator 50 ToursDeputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-09-09
Posts 9903
In Your Poetic Mind
9 posted 2003-12-09 09:12 AM


How very true.....there is a sadness to this....an ache for spring, and rebirth....

Lauren~

~~**~~

I would rather have one breath of his hair,
one kiss of his mouth,
one touch of his hand
than an eternity without it.

Earth Angel
Member Empyrean
since 2002-08-27
Posts 40215
Realms of Light
10 posted 2003-12-09 09:24 AM


"There is a softness
to snow
when it’s newly fallen

much like love."

~ I'll hold that loverly thought! So gentle. Beautifully expressed and brought a smile to my heart. Remember, Dear Duncan, that whenever cold winds blow and turn our world into jagged ice, snow will fall softly yet again. 'Tis the icicles, I mean "cycles" of love's weather!

A beautiful piece of writing.

Warm hugs,
EA



PsychoticBunni
Member
since 2003-10-03
Posts 162
Mythical Atlantis
11 posted 2003-12-09 01:57 PM


you describe love so perfectly, but look on the bright side. It's only 13 days to the winter equinox(give or take a few) and after that it will get better. love also gets better, my friend. hang in there for the melting of the ice.

Meg

tragedy is cutting your finger. comedy is falling into an open sewer and dying.
-Mel Brooks

1slick_lady
Member Ascendant
since 2000-12-22
Posts 6088
standing on a shadow's lace
12 posted 2003-12-09 02:20 PM


some chills are hard to shake huh?
Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354
Listening to every heart
13 posted 2003-12-09 03:05 PM



There is a softness
to this, indeed,
Duncan...

for without the chill
we would never know
warm.

Seymour Tabin
Member Empyrean
since 1999-07-07
Posts 31720
Tamarac Fla
14 posted 2003-12-09 06:18 PM


Duncan...
This write is 100 proof. Well done

JamesMichael
Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-16
Posts 33336
Kapolei, Hawaii, USA
15 posted 2003-12-09 06:20 PM


Nice writing...James
serenity blaze
Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738

16 posted 2003-12-09 07:30 PM


wanna go ice fishing?


Bill Charles
Member Patricius
since 2000-07-11
Posts 10619
highways, & byways, for now
17 posted 2003-12-09 07:38 PM


Duncan - sometimes ice it does turn into, but winter isn't here, I don't want it to be here, it's too cold. But the snow is beautiful when it's new...

BC

Janet Marie
Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554

18 posted 2003-12-09 10:14 PM


here ya go Dunc...thank you




Bare Trees


Winter without you is a
season of frigid mourning.
Months of colorless skies
and moonless nights.

Serrated winds leave
naked limbs silhouetted
against a canvas of slate.

I cannot acclimate lacking the
anticipation of sunrises over the
bay or the warmth of your presence.

As the distance and separation
frost my intent and inspiration ...

I wonder if the trees
miss their leaves,
as much as I miss you.


jm
for mc
12/8/03

I can remember Forever December,
The center of dying ... the heart of the pain.
The stars surround me ... the cold astounds me.

Tabitha's Secret

Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354
Listening to every heart
19 posted 2003-12-10 10:51 AM


Look what I found...
a poem wrapped inside a poem....

Nightshade
Deputy Moderator 5 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Patricius
since 2001-08-31
Posts 13962
just out of reach
20 posted 2003-12-10 10:57 AM


Very nice indeed Duncan. A keeper this is. hugs, Chris

"At the touch of love everyone becomes a poet."
-Plato



    

NewEnglandlazurlu
Member Rara Avis
since 2002-01-04
Posts 7470
A Mountain Paradise
21 posted 2003-12-10 08:33 PM


Yes, it is winter, despite that it's only the 10th. We have 27 inches of white outside our backdoor! Oh, yes, it's winter alright!

A charming and wonderful write that I really, really loved.

Hugs, Marti

'You cannot shake hands with a clenched fist.'  
PEACE!!!
Indira Gandhi

Christopher
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-08-02
Posts 8296
Purgatorial Incarceration
22 posted 2003-12-10 08:52 PM


if one didn't know better, they might consider you an embittered man.

but on the serious side:
quote:
hard
through bare white night
as grinding crunch
of wheel against curb.
...the sharpness doesn't fit here... the image is fine as a contrast, but the lack of an article following "as" and preceding "grinding" made me pause, detracting from an otherwise impressive flow. actually, as i think about it more... try changing "as grinding" to "like a grinding" and see what you think.

overall (well, almost "all" ) i appreciate the sentiment, the construction, and the gentle, yet real emotive value of this poem.

another 'cool,' D.

Mistletoe Angel
Deputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 5 Tours
Member Empyrean
since 2000-12-17
Posts 32816
Portland, Oregon
23 posted 2003-12-14 05:25 PM








(big hugggsssssss) Oh Duncan, I know just how you feel having been heartbroken last New Years by Joanna, sweet friend, but though the ice may stay on the pavement for some time, the snow will always fall again and then when you see the snow-frosted hills you don't even notice the ice and you walk gracefully upon it all! (sigh) God Bless You, sweet friend, we all love you so much! You have such a beautiful heart, sweet Duncan, thank you for sharing!



May love and light always shine upon you!

Love,
Noah Eaton

"You'll find something that's enough to keep you
But if the bright lights don't receive you
You should turn yourself around and come back home" MB20

Post A Reply Post New Topic ⇧ top of page ⇧ Go to Previous / Newer Topic Back to Topic List Go to Next / Older Topic
All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format.
navwin » Archives » Open Poetry #30 » It is winter, afterall

Passions in Poetry | pipTalk Home Page | Main Poetry Forums | 100 Best Poems

How to Join | Member's Area / Help | Private Library | Search | Contact Us | Login
Discussion | Tech Talk | Archives | Sanctuary