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Open Poetry #30

Subtle Mind

titch k
Member

since 2003-11-25

Posts 123

0 posted 2003-12-05 03:46 PM

Subtle mind,
down in the mirror
What has caught her eye;
Rivulet
How many men,
grow old in the wind?
I utter to dawn,
will thy sky blossoms heap me over
Flames as staring,
rickling, and visible for miles;
Ethereal, for here's a place,
in sanity's conditions
Why should I carry anxious thought,
and love and care;
No matter how grave things be;
Turbulent centuries
Would stress feel for me,
if I were dead?

There is alot of coming and going,
no one really dies
I question sadness,
just a line up;
Red wine a pouring
Marking time,
hiding from the rain!
It's hard to fool an enemy;
O what I think
The room is running;
Now nothing,now many things;
Suspicious author, steered badly,
running to close to ground!
Perhaps tomorrow,
this mortal frame;
Coming back to take dominion;
Cry with hearts,
that beat for love!

Titch

BluesSerenade
Member Patricius

since 2001-10-23

Posts 10549
By the Seaside

1 posted 2003-12-08 01:06 PM

Lots of nice lines in this, not sure where it's going,
but it's all good.

PsychoticBunni
Member

since 2003-10-03

Posts 162
Mythical Atlantis

2 posted 2003-12-08 05:17 PM

lots of metaphors and likenesses in this piece. i don't understand it but i like it and the words sound pretty. I'm sure you understand it tho.

tragedy is cutting your finger. comedy is falling into an open sewer and dying.
-Mel Brooks

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