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Snapshots From Another Time Another Place
| Open Poetry #30 |
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Snapshots From Another Time Another Place |
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icebox Member Elite
since 2003-05-03
Posts 4383in the shadows 
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Her daughter called ostensibly to say she was done; she couldn't take life anymore, growing up an orphan living on the run, her only playmate as a nanny was a hired thug, clinging to the hate believing I had let her mother die without a care, knowing I was still alive was all more than she could bear. Her rant in broken English, mixed obscenities in French and German, lasted for a while until her energy ran down; "J'accuse! J'accuse!" through sobs as her passion cooled back to its solid acid base, I disgust her I'm pathetic and she pities me, my trivial existence, though still I am the corrupt tool of enemies she doesn't even know. I knew enough not to try to interrupt; I felt like I would drown in the sound of her voice, so much like her mother's, the accent different of course her mother was a Sabra, a secret I was not supposed to know, but the timbre was the same the heavy knowing woman's glow that once filled my nights and made me feel alive; while I listened I tried to do the math, I knew that she was five when her mother died, my eyes burned as I watched a tear drop onto the mouthpiece of a phone that I was crushing in my hand. Could I really not be sure what year it had been was it ‘68 or ‘69 since that part of my soul has been alone? I felt the familiar band of pain getting tighter on my chest, as my mind drifted backwards through the torrent of words I barely heard. Her mother, so well trained, had been the best hummingbird I'd ever covered through the cold lens of a glass; that night long ago, from a warehouse roof three hundred yards away, through sultry late night island air thick with yasmine and bougainvilla, I watched her jewelry shimmer on her tan as she played the rabbit in moonlight, gently like Chopin; they strolled arm in arm across the deserted plaza, as if she didn't have a care in the world except to put his mind at ease, make the deal, make him think he pleased her, make him feel like his betrayal was some kind of duty to a greater good and he could always find another life in another country. They stood under a street lamp, gas flame beveled glass in wrought iron, old fashioned like the game we played; they lit cigarettes and laughed, though I couldn't hear a sound I knew her laughter well; I still hear it in my dreams until it's throttled by silent screams that hurl my mind to sweaty wakefulness. A few steps more to shadows as she closed the pitch it was time to make the trade, then we'd be gone; I never saw the blade just her eyes glaze over as he placed her on the bench; I took him in an instant even as I felt my heart wrench in my chest knowing thinking was for later, remembering would be forever just below the surface. Now this grown woman child's voice did make me remember wide awake what I hide from in my sleep; in an instant I was just past 23 once again I couldn't keep a child man's promise; see, except for me in my unfinished arrogance, I had thought back then that she had been the best I'd ever known; but then I never thought I would live this long and hear her own child's voice steeped in suicidal bitterness full of fury, ice and knives, grown to whip my soul with hatred for the failures of our lives. ©2003 by icebox |
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| © Copyright 2003 icebox - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049California |
Icebox....How difficult it must have been to re-live this memory, I hope it eased you in the telling. Hug! |
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Enchantress Member Empyrean
since 2001-08-14
Posts 35113Canada eh. |
Oh my..I am speechless... You told of this so vividly. What an amazing write.. I don't really know what to say at the moment. Hugs~ ~ Let peace begin with me... |
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Honeybunch Member Rara Avis
since 2001-12-29
Posts 7115South Africa |
And I too don't know what to say except that we must forgive ourselves. We all need to forgive ourselves and that first step is the hardest of all. An excellent write nevertheless but then, of course, it's what we've come to expect from you. |
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Seymour Tabin Member Empyrean
since 1999-07-07
Posts 31720Tamarac Fla |
icebox First we forgive ourselves and then the rest comes. A very string write. |
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steavenr Member Elite
since 2003-11-17
Posts 4058 |
Powerful, moving write. Obviously heartfelt. Found myself trying to read it too fast. It really drew me in. |
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passing shadows Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577displaced |
icebox m'friend, I have no words that could even come close to what I feel |
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Ratleader
since 2003-01-23
Posts 7026Visiting Earth on a Guest Pass |
This is too good to languish with six replies just because it's long....needs to be back at the top where more can read it! ~~(¸¸¸¸ºº> ~~(¸¸¸¸ºº> ~~(¸¸ ¸¸ºº> ~~~(¸¸ER¸¸ºº> |
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GG Member Elite
since 2002-12-03
Posts 3532Lost in thought |
oh wow... I don't know what to say either.... wow Always, Alyssa He was a man of sorrows |
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Midnitesun
since 2001-05-18
Posts 28647Gaia |
I'll be back after I recover from a skipped heartbeat. shaking head, feeling the ache of this write all the way to the bone |
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Saunni Senior Member
since 2000-07-11
Posts 1777West Virginia |
I am totally at a loss for words here but I felt your pain! You have touched me deeply and all I can sit here and do is think and wish that I could take that extreme hurt from your sweet, sweet heart! If I could, I most certainly would! I swear, I would! Believe that! Sincerely, Sauni. Sauni:)The Only Time I See The Sun Is When I'm Within That Vanilla Breeze.The Only Time I'm One With The Sun Is When He Shelters Me From The Rain. |
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A Romantic Heart Member Ascendant
since 1999-09-03
Posts 5496Forever In Your Heart |
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Loverlost Member
since 2003-11-25
Posts 89UK |
Pain can be so beautiful. But isnt that the essence of poetry? I cannot say more. Love is like Mumps.....the older you are when you catch it....the worse it feels |
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icebox Member Elite
since 2003-05-03
Posts 4383in the shadows |
Thank you all for the kindness and courtesy of your comments. |
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