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Open Poetry #30

In Deep Snow

the ant
Junior Member

since 2003-11-30

Posts 18
ca, usa

0 posted 2003-12-05 02:11 AM

I feel cold
In this deep snow
white all around
bloodshed on the ground

and to this day
I could see the chill
the air razor thin
mirrors back
a time I had once been

I drew an arrow from the bobsled
the ice turned red
crying
on my face
dead

C?
Member

since 2001-12-29

Posts 190

1 posted 2003-12-05 02:34 AM

I like the repetition of the image of sharp, metallic things...very ingenious

Ratleader

Member Rara Avis

since 2003-01-23

Posts 7026
Visiting Earth on a Guest Pass

2 posted 2003-12-05 02:38 AM

Crisp and viciously effective language here -- good work!

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______________Ratleader______________

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