navwin » Archives » Open Poetry #30 » Listen to Him Play
Open Poetry #30
Post A Reply Post New Topic Listen to Him Play Go to Previous / Newer Topic Back to Topic List Go to Next / Older Topic
Professor Gloom
Member Elite
since 2000-07-23
Posts 3082
of Depression

0 posted 2003-12-03 10:08 AM


Listening to the Lute played by a Monk,  Chun from Shu
by Li Po (701-762)

Direct word translation from the Original Text
(left to right, top to bottom in the English way)

Shu(Szechwan)// Monk//Hold//(Green//Brocade (Famous Lute))

West //down//~Omei*1~//Peak

For//me//One//strum//hand

Like//listen//ten-thousands//valley(s)//pine(s)

Traveler//mind(heart)//Washed(Rinsed)//flowing// water
  
Remaining //Sound//enter //frost//bell *2

Not//aware (of)//green //mountain//dusk

Autumn//cloud//dark// how-many//layer (s)

*1~ Mount Omei or Emei is a scared peek in the Szechwan Province of China and is the symbol of a sect of Monks, More rounded in everyday life than the more popular known to today’s  public Shaolin. (This takes two symbol position)
*2 ~although referred to as a single bell, there were nine bells in Feng Mountain that rang when the frost comes

Translation Poetic

Szechwan Monk, down the Omei
With Green Brocade Lute playing,
With one pass, thousands of pines swaying,
Travelers, rinsed as if with water flowing
Till the bells tells of the frost coming
Caught entranced with dusk descending
Clouds roll in layers unending
Strings grow still, the mind is free.


Gloom
my poem is just a version of the poem, since translations can vary with the translator as each adds to the original thoughts to make it seem more poetic.



© Copyright 2003 Aszard Drazlom - All Rights Reserved
Brad Majors
Deputy Moderator 5 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Elite
since 2001-04-03
Posts 2647
Georgia
1 posted 2003-12-03 12:16 PM


well done
Ladycat
Deputy Moderator 5 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Senior Member
since 1999-07-05
Posts 782
At the edge and a doorway,TX
2 posted 2003-12-03 12:20 PM


That is nice.

Dancing is the loftiest, the most moving, the most
beautiful of the arts, because it is no mere translation
or abstraction from life; IT IS LIFE I

Sadelite
Member Elite
since 2003-10-11
Posts 2519

3 posted 2003-12-03 08:47 PM


Professor,
   It was very interesting to see the makings of a translation poem.   Truly beautiful.   It is good to see another one of your posts!  Thank you for sharing.
                           Sadelite

[This message has been edited by Sadelite (12-03-2003 08:48 PM).]

ecrivan
Member Elite
since 2001-12-10
Posts 3923
my own state
4 posted 2003-12-03 09:00 PM


Enjoyed the translation


Post A Reply Post New Topic ⇧ top of page ⇧ Go to Previous / Newer Topic Back to Topic List Go to Next / Older Topic
All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format.
navwin » Archives » Open Poetry #30 » Listen to Him Play

Passions in Poetry | pipTalk Home Page | Main Poetry Forums | 100 Best Poems

How to Join | Member's Area / Help | Private Library | Search | Contact Us | Login
Discussion | Tech Talk | Archives | Sanctuary