A trip to the maul - pipTalk Forums

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ice
Member Elite

since 2003-05-17

Posts 3404
Pennsylvania

0 posted 2003-12-03 07:14 AM

*
Nothing but empty games,
Of cards dealt by money changers,
Like mice they trust the piper
Never seeing the slight of hand,
Or picking the cup that holds the pea.
*
Lost in the fluff,
Of glitter and colors
That make poor lovers,
Consumed, left on the brink;
Titillated, but they remain wanting.
*
Coins ejaculate deposit's
In registers, purchases
Are like disappointing orgasms;
Men and women leaving full,
But in reality, empty.
*
I need sedate, so with the ching in my pocket's
I buy an over-priced orange-julius,
And out of the corner of my eye,
Ogle, girls in tank-tops going by.
*
end

Brad Majors

Member Elite

since 2001-04-03

Posts 2647
Georgia

1 posted 2003-12-03 07:55 AM

nice

LeeJ
Member Patricius

since 2003-06-19

Posts 13296

2 posted 2003-12-03 07:57 AM

Awesome write...and reality spoken so intently...but, on the other side of the coin...for all the saddness, there is/are and always will be good, upstanding, moral people who value respect for others, possess an incredible amount of faith, and devotion to friends and family. I know, cause they've been there for me...not to mention, people who are not close and yet have offered their shoulder, friendship, ear, whatever.

But, Ice...this was such a good write, intense and so right on the money....lets just hope that goodness outweighs the evil...we must have faith, right?

Smiles and hugs...Lee J.

Pilgrimage
Member Elite

since 2001-12-04

Posts 3945
Texas, USA

3 posted 2003-12-03 09:56 AM

ice, I love the title-it drew me right in! Nicely done picture of the hurly-burly. And the use of 'slight of hand' instead of 'sleight of hand' struck me too. Neat last stanza, and you'll get your face slapped if you ogle too publicly, you know.

Nan (Pilgrim variety)

Mistletoe Angel

Member Empyrean

since 2000-12-17

Posts 32816
Portland, Oregon

4 posted 2004-01-11 03:28 PM

(sad sigh) Ah yes, the mall rat shim-sham! Unless I am finding Christmas gifts for my sisters, I would never be caught dead in a mall anywhere as I am all about original crafts and art from the private businesses! (smiles) While this nation is turning into a Banana Republic, I will be eating the apples, God Bless You, we all love you so much! You have such a beautiful heart, sweet Ford, thank you for sharing!

May love and light always shine upon you!

Love,
Noah Eaton

"You'll find something that's enough to keep you
But if the bright lights don't receive you
You should turn yourself around and come back home" MB20

LngJhnAg
Member Elite

since 1999-07-23

Posts 3508
Boot+Kitty=Poetry in motion

5 posted 2004-01-11 03:36 PM

Great turns of phrase, Ice. The use of 'maul' was perfect. Nicely put.

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