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Open Poetry #30
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Layers of Ash
| Open Poetry #30 |
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Layers of Ash |
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Greeneyes  
since 2000-09-09
Posts 9903In Your Poetic Mind 
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draw me out of: names that don’t matter on long winter nights the warmth from your hands all I need if you're ‘here’ when I return to ‘earth’ you would know water, echo’s of everything you can not see how I can be beautiful -- or; how gentle my eyes yield your abandonment a surviving view-- balanced on shoulders well traveled alone, I am falling empty, naked with interest-- avowed by sound I remember: guilt -- walls that have no end-- -- layers of ashes-- slates of blue clouds sweeping the dusty earth across my skin I tremble in anticipation, the next color return only when you desire the shade of my heart and maybe you will remember the softness of my mouth ~~**~~ True poems rest between the words [This message has been edited by Greeneyes (12-02-2003 10:12 PM).] |
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| © Copyright 2003 Lauren~ - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Enchantress Member Empyrean
since 2001-08-14
Posts 35113Canada eh. |
"return only when you desire the shade of my heart and maybe you will remember the softness of my mouth" You write with such grace of pen dear Lauren. Beautiful indeed. Hugs~ ~ Let peace begin with me... |
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garysgirl
since 2002-09-29
Posts 19237Florida, USA |
Very beautiful, this is, Lauren. I enjoyed reading it.  Hugs  Ethel |
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Mistletoe Angel
since 2000-12-17
Posts 32816Portland, Oregon |
 (smiles) Oh Lauren, this is beautiful, sweet friend, I also believe so many colors rest between the words of poetry as well and your poetry reveals a whole new spectrum of beauty and enchantment seen from your heart! (kiss on cheek) God Bless You, sweet friend, this is dazzling, we all love you so much! You have such a beautiful heart, sweet Lauren, thank you for sharing! May love and light always shine upon you! Love, Noah Eaton "You'll find something that's enough to keep you |
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passing shadows Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577displaced |
this...and you...are beautiful |
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Snow
since 2000-10-16
Posts 1170desert flower looking for rain |
your poems always remind me of songs.. lyrics for/from the heart ... always calling me back for more snow "...why does my skeleton pursue me |
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Aimster Member Elite
since 2000-02-19
Posts 4297Charlotte, NC |
you know i'm your biggest fan **grins** seriously this was breath-taking. your words always grab at me! "I remember: guilt -- walls that have no end-- -- layers of ashes-- slates of blue" how awesome is this!? you continue to amaze me Lauren. beautiful write, beautiful heart, beautiful you! hugs, Amy "love is like a butterfly-- |
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Gentle Spirit Member Patricius
since 2000-10-09
Posts 13989 |
Only you Lady ~L....only you....   [This message has been edited by Gentle Spirit (12-04-2003 12:50 PM).] |
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cosmic-duality Junior Member
since 2003-11-24
Posts 14 |
Very beautiful |
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Janet Marie Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554 |
all I need if you're ‘here’ when I return to ‘earth’ you would know water, echo’s of everything you can not see how I can be beautiful -- or; how gentle my eyes yield your abandonment a surviving view-- balanced on shoulders well traveled alone, I am falling empty, naked with interest-- avowed by sound I remember: guilt -- walls that have no end-- -- layers of ashes-- slates of blue clouds sweeping the dusty earth across my skin ============================= quote: you aint neva lied darlin  between your exquisite words lie the promise of dawn and the sighs of midnight.... and .... butterfly traces. When I'm with you my eyes are so wide ... |
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wranx Member Elite
since 2002-06-07
Posts 3689Moved from a shack to a barn |
Ummmmm, I'd have to go with what the moth said. Yep! |
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duckysgirl Junior Member
since 2003-11-19
Posts 26Down South |
Lovely...just lovely. Duckysgirl |
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Opeth Senior Member
since 2001-12-13
Posts 1543The Ravines |
"if you're ‘here’ when I return to ‘earth’ you would know water," ~ Those lines were my favorite. And I thought by drinking almost a gallon of water a day, that I knew water... but maybe I don't.  enjoyed! |
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iliana Member Patricius
since 2003-12-05
Posts 13434USA |
"True poems rest between the words" Soooooooo good! |
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Sunnyone Member Ascendant
since 2000-07-06
Posts 5334Staffordshire, England |
As I said once awhile ago, you write with such smooth grace and beauty, and this proves it!! Lovely one this...~S~ Life is what you make it |
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Mysteria
since 2001-03-07
Posts 18328British Columbia, Canada |
Exquisite! Simply exquisite Lauren. |
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Patricia Member Elite
since 2003-04-06
Posts 2160Missouri |
Lauren, I read this poem several times...I was compelled to do so. You expressed so beautifully thoughts of him that I finally allowed to come to the front for examination. I hope this makes sense, but if it does not, please know I could so relate to this work. Wonderful work... Patricia |
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Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049California |
Lauren Your poem is art! |
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Midnitesun
since 2001-05-18
Posts 28647Gaia |
Absolutely beautiful, tender and soft. |
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Antonio_L Member
since 2003-12-01
Posts 110NorthEast USA |
Extremely well crafted Lauren but I feel even more it is from your heart. It is very good indeed. Tony. |
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Ratleader
since 2003-01-23
Posts 7026Visiting Earth on a Guest Pass |
Again Greeneyes is one step beyond, giving lessons in how to do this craft. Thank you for this one. ~~(¸¸¸¸ºº> ~~(¸¸¸¸ºº> ~~(¸¸ ¸¸ºº> ~~~(¸¸ER¸¸ºº> |
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