navwin » Archives » Open Poetry #30 » In Deep Snow
Open Poetry #30
Post A Reply Post New Topic In Deep Snow Go to Previous / Newer Topic Back to Topic List Go to Next / Older Topic
the ant
Junior Member
since 2003-11-30
Posts 18
ca, usa

0 posted 2003-12-02 03:46 AM


I feel cold
In this deep snow
white all around
bloodshed on the ground

and to this day
I could see the chill
the air razor thin
mirrors back
a time I had once been

I drew an arrow from the bobsled
the ice turned red
crying
on my face
dead

© Copyright 2003 the ant - All Rights Reserved
Brad Majors
Deputy Moderator 5 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Elite
since 2001-04-03
Posts 2647
Georgia
1 posted 2003-12-02 07:48 AM


nice
Masked Intruder
Deputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 10 Tours
Moderator
Senior Member
since 1999-05-23
Posts 1231
Near golden sunsets
2 posted 2003-12-02 08:29 PM


Okay, first, I have to explain the image I formed just by seeing the title of the poem and your user name.  

The Ant in Deep Snow.  

Yeah, that was a killer.  Now I'm going to read the poem...

I don't understand the images in the first and third stanza.  I picture didn't form completely enough for me to figure out what was going on.  The second, descriptive stanza, was very well written.  Its imagery was good.

Post A Reply Post New Topic ⇧ top of page ⇧ Go to Previous / Newer Topic Back to Topic List Go to Next / Older Topic
All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format.
navwin » Archives » Open Poetry #30 » In Deep Snow

Passions in Poetry | pipTalk Home Page | Main Poetry Forums | 100 Best Poems

How to Join | Member's Area / Help | Private Library | Search | Contact Us | Login
Discussion | Tech Talk | Archives | Sanctuary