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Astro
Member

since 2003-01-08

Posts 69
Ca.

0 posted 2003-12-01 04:46 PM

Deserted Places

A sidewinder slinks along granules of
Coal black sand.
Sea crabs clamp their claws on
Powdery white beaches.
People use to populate these deserted places.

Now, only ghosts of wind-blown dust
Kick up, thirsting
For bone, blood and flesh.
A sign says:
2 miles to the nearest well.
All of the stones removed.
And all of the people have moved
On to the Big City Bright Lights
Where night is no longer black
But a pale, old yellow
And fluorescents make
White teeth green.

Here, the birds have rotors for flight,
The lions, motors for fright
And the trees are made of brick and mortar.

The stars that shine down have been removed
Improved upon with spotlights
That search the yellow sky.
The separation of Jungle and Forest, River and Beach
Have evolved into Uptown and Downtown, West and East
And lines that were drawn once more clear
Now hide like fugitives in the rear.

Sight is an always awful beginning

ThisDiamond
Member Rara Avis

since 2002-02-22

Posts 9353
Michigan, USA

1 posted 2003-12-01 11:30 PM

Haven't seen you here before...welcome to Passions.
I'm glad I found your works.
Very strong and stinging lines...worthwhile thoughts to contend.
Well done.
TD

Temptress

Moderator

Member Rara Avis

since 1999-06-15

Posts 7136
Mobile, AL

2 posted 2003-12-01 11:58 PM

be harsh? How could I be with such beautiful imagery and wonderful show of the difference between wide open spaces and cramped city spaces. Well..those are the best words I know to say I love this with right now.

I went looking for treasures tonight and found one.

To the top with you. This one should be read.

All of my impurities are right here on my sleeve. This is Me"---Faith Hill

passing shadows
Member Empyrean

since 1999-08-26

Posts 45577
displaced

3 posted 2003-12-02 03:42 AM

good stuff!

Astro
Member

since 2003-01-08

Posts 69
Ca.

4 posted 2003-12-02 06:06 PM

Hey, thanx for all the replies! I've posted a lot of poems and I was getting discouraged at the lack of responses. I appreciate the time you've taken to read my work; it means a lot

Sight is an always awful beginning

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