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Open Poetry #30
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Deb Lynne
Member
since 1999-08-19
Posts 180
Where blue skies meet blue ocean

0 posted 2003-11-29 08:19 PM



Bright eyes blink behind withering skin
Hands slightly tremble now and then
Hair now graying where once was black
Hunched over in a chair, a crooked back

Waiting for something day after day
Silently passing the moments away
Listening for sounds of anyone near
No one around to see one last tear....

© Copyright 2003 Deb Lynne - All Rights Reserved
tecoyah
Member
since 2003-11-16
Posts 83
NY
1 posted 2003-11-29 08:32 PM


nice work...would love to see what you could do without the constraints of continuous rhymes....thanx for the read
Copperbell
Senior Member
since 2003-11-08
Posts 956

2 posted 2003-11-29 08:48 PM


touching
Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-05
Posts 25505
Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA
3 posted 2003-11-29 10:19 PM


Nice work, Deb....a true portrait of so many of the elderly and how their lives turn out...it's very sad.
WildPoet
Member
since 2003-11-10
Posts 205
California
4 posted 2003-11-29 11:27 PM


Great work!Some people don't understand that rhyming is not a constraint!Keep on rhymimg you have great timing!

WildPoet

To earn respect, Give respect
To live life, nurture life
To enjoy Love, Share Love

passing shadows
Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577
displaced
5 posted 2003-11-29 11:31 PM


this is so lonely...but good
Marge Tindal
Deputy Moderator 5 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-06
Posts 42384
Florida's Foreverly Shores
6 posted 2003-11-30 12:17 PM


DebLynne~
A gentle rhyme that is captivating~
*Huglets*
~*Marge*~

~*When the heart grieves over what it has lost,
the spirit rejoices over what it has left.
- Sufi epigram
       noles1@totcon.com   

jaicie114
Senior Member
since 2003-09-27
Posts 750
On the edge of forever
7 posted 2003-11-30 12:37 PM


Deb Lynne...

This is incredibly sad...but, very well done.
Thank you.

Love and Light...jc

This I know as Truth...we are all Beings of Light.

Deb Lynne
Member
since 1999-08-19
Posts 180
Where blue skies meet blue ocean
8 posted 2003-11-30 09:57 AM


Thanks All.  I work part time at the hospital and find I leave my heart at the end of every shift.
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