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Open Poetry #30
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Jason Lyle
Senior Member
since 2003-02-07
Posts 1438
With my darkling

0 posted 2003-11-28 12:29 PM


I knew at that instant
that single moment
when your voice
dropped to a
whisper

you where about
to deliver
truth I did
not want hear

maybe you might
consider
telling me a lie instead?

I do better with those...

maybe without much effort
you could string me
on a few more days
I'll pretend not
to notice

we would both
feel much better
for a few
more days

and in return
I will gift you
the fact that
you pretended
to try harder

© Copyright 2003 Jason Lyle - All Rights Reserved
young_blood
Senior Member
since 2003-09-19
Posts 1115
Indianapolis, IN
1 posted 2003-11-28 12:38 PM


hmmmm......it was good, but yet it seemed to lack something....imagery maybe? i dont know....hmmm..its so different from my style
-alex

now im alone, but not lonely like before

Jason Lyle
Senior Member
since 2003-02-07
Posts 1438
With my darkling
2 posted 2003-11-28 12:56 PM


nah, you didn't miss a thing, most will tell you, I deliver blunt, I will work on that.

Jason

passing shadows
Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577
displaced
3 posted 2003-11-28 03:15 AM


ooooo, ouch

this just smacked me in the face

littlewing
Member Rara Avis
since 2003-03-02
Posts 9655
New York
4 posted 2003-11-29 05:00 AM


Jason:

this is one of your best , truly

maybe you might
consider
telling me a lie instead?

I do better with those...

yes, well . . me too
*smile* this one left me with a
black eye . . .
xxoo

GG
Member Elite
since 2002-12-03
Posts 3532
Lost in thought
5 posted 2003-11-29 08:16 AM


ooh this is good, I know this one.
I've been there...
Felt it, Love it!

Always, Alyssa

He was a man of sorrows
...I am a girl of tears.

nakdthoughts
Member Laureate
since 2000-10-29
Posts 19200
Between the Lines
6 posted 2003-11-29 08:29 AM


a very telling write..enjoyed *s
M

scorpio
Member Ascendant
since 2002-10-02
Posts 5178
right...there
7 posted 2003-11-29 09:03 AM


Strong emotions in this write Jason.  

believe in what your heart feels...

Gina Culliney
Member
since 2003-03-08
Posts 170

8 posted 2003-12-04 05:34 PM


Lol! strong ain't the word! like a gut punch!
Great write as usual Darklng, keep em coming!
missed your work on the site!

vandana
Deputy Moderator 5 Tours
Member Patricius
since 1999-10-22
Posts 10463
USA
9 posted 2003-12-04 06:15 PM


enjoyed
inkedgoddess
Member Rara Avis
since 2002-11-19
Posts 7392
Ohio
10 posted 2003-12-04 06:29 PM


takiung the lie to some is their truth, oh well something like that
BluesSerenade
Member Patricius
since 2001-10-23
Posts 10549
By the Seaside
11 posted 2003-12-05 08:06 PM


Don't you hate it when you can see it coming?
You had me from the very beginning!

Great poem Jason~

SharaRose
Member Elite
since 2003-07-19
Posts 2501
Somewhere out there~
12 posted 2003-12-06 02:51 AM


The worst kind of dread..the one you even find yourself negotiating in your own mind. Wow...been a long time ago, but I remember this feeling. Creepy that you capture it so well it brought it all back. Yikes!
Love,
Terri~

Well I will go down with this ship
And I won't put my hands up and surrender...Dido

Aimster
Member Elite
since 2000-02-19
Posts 4297
Charlotte, NC
13 posted 2003-12-14 06:02 PM


jason,

excellent writing! this one had a
punch to it...very direct, but I loved
it!
Happy Holidays,
Amy

"love is like a butterfly--
if you chase it,
it will surely fly away,instead
hold it close and watch it grow into
something beautiful"
~me~

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