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Open Poetry #30
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disc22
New Member
since 2003-11-26
Posts 8
lancs, england

0 posted 2003-11-26 01:48 PM


this is not the type of stone
that remains inside my pocket;
for reasons undeveloped.
you could bring it to me, and
I would place it in this Stream,
leaving it to float among the Sidling or be
rested at the floor. almost forever,
until a Fresh current revives it,
pushing on its back legs,
pulling it to the Surface.

when it breathes, it Gulps at air.

when it sleeps, it tends to Snore.

and a Clouded day will bring rain,
scattering leaves and pebbles.

Call out to the bird that has taken its leaf
to its nest to nourish its wings.


© Copyright 2003 disc22 - All Rights Reserved
wranx
Member Elite
since 2002-06-07
Posts 3689
Moved from a shack to a barn
1 posted 2003-11-26 02:15 PM


I like this much disc...very much indeed


~wranx

disc22
New Member
since 2003-11-26
Posts 8
lancs, england
2 posted 2003-11-26 02:20 PM


cheers...

why?

sorry, i've hardly written before, so i need some kind of direction, if you did like it: just let me know why, pretty please..
(hoping not to sound too desperate..)

wranx
Member Elite
since 2002-06-07
Posts 3689
Moved from a shack to a barn
3 posted 2003-11-27 06:24 PM


Well disc?

It's just that I like your quirky point of view...The skewed way in which you see things.

And that you can portray these images so well.
I see a lot of metaphor that, of course, is open to interpretation.

All of this though, is the reply from one that reads much better than he writes.

I don't know what others will get from your writing, I enjoy all I've read.

~wranx

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