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Open Poetry #30
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James_A_Fraser
Senior Member
since 2003-09-03
Posts 972
Out Making Anticlines

0 posted 2003-11-25 05:20 PM


          The Mime


He’s trapped in a box in a city far away;
He can’t get out, and he’s good at it.
You can almost see the invisible walls,
And it’s clear he does see them.
The white glove that is his hand angles
Up a corner while the black glove hand
Slips down the side, so perfectly flat
That anybody knows it’s there.

His mute gesticulations brighten up
This corner, and he’s having a conniption,
While passersby laugh at his consternation.
So it goes, always striving, always trapped
In walls he has defined, the whiteface face
And black mascara mask cartoonish
In hopeless dismay, and all for casual laughter,
At least to those of us outside the box. He could
Starve to death in there, and they’d laugh.

A child walks through the wall and out again
As the black and white sadface flips to glee.
Seizing the moment he follows her and
Caroms off, bursts into imaginary tears again,
Sidling down the wall to sit forlorn, trapped.
Mother stills the little girl’s fears while
They laugh it up, all the bystanders.
It’s all black and white for him today,
And white on black, all of his life reduced
to a cartoon of dichromatic dimensions

What if he did have something to say,
Something vibrant, vital? How say,
“They’ve taken her off life support,”
With no one chortling behind their hand?
“My sewer’s backed up with roots again,”
He might opine to no avail, hands flapping.
Or he might so yearn to tell someone,
“I love you, love forever, but I’m trapped
Here in this box, here in this city, far away.”

Who would laugh then, I wonder?

[This message has been edited by James_A_Fraser (11-25-2003 05:28 PM).]

© Copyright 2003 James A. Fraser - All Rights Reserved
Marge Tindal
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since 1999-11-06
Posts 42384
Florida's Foreverly Shores
1 posted 2003-11-25 06:40 PM


Jaime~
My stars ... this is stunning~
Drew me right into the scene as I read slowly to the end~

This is one FINE piece of work, my friend~
I shall keep it to study and for immense pleasurable reading~
*Huglets*
~*Marge*~

~*When the heart grieves over what it has lost,
the spirit rejoices over what it has left.
- Sufi epigram
       noles1@totcon.com   

Midnitesun
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Gaia
2 posted 2003-11-25 07:39 PM


I'll be keeping this to re-read later, as it contains many shades of black and white,
and envelops this reader in too many fine visuals for just one reading.

suthern
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Member Seraphic
since 1999-07-29
Posts 20723
Louisiana
3 posted 2003-11-26 09:38 AM


I've read this several times... and still lack the words to do it justice. I could say how it made me feel... but I felt so much my response would be novel-length. I could list the parts I particularly liked... but I'd be quoting every word, every line. This isn't just one of YOUR best... it's one of THE best poems I've read... and I've read a lot.


Sunshine
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since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354
Listening to every heart
4 posted 2003-11-26 09:41 AM



What an ending.
James...you wrote
a

Seymour Tabin
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since 1999-07-07
Posts 31720
Tamarac Fla
5 posted 2003-11-26 10:02 AM


James,
You have used a sword of symbols to cut the sward.

Greeneyes
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Member Rara Avis
since 2000-09-09
Posts 9903
In Your Poetic Mind
6 posted 2003-11-26 10:22 AM


Brilliant!   WOW


I am at a loss foro words, and that doesnt happen often!
Lauren~

I had a dream last night
you came to me on silver wings of light
I flew away with you in painted sky
Was it real
Is it what you see,touch or feel

LeeJ
Member Patricius
since 2003-06-19
Posts 13296

7 posted 2003-11-26 10:45 AM


this was haunting, astounding and brilliantly written, yet, poked at my heart, feeling sad for the person your writing about.  I hope he stops being afraid to speak his mind...cause that's what lifes about...telling those you love that you care...my God, what else is there more important than that.

Bravo, Sir this was incredible

Martie
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since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049
California
8 posted 2003-12-12 10:19 AM


Jamie...This is such a poingnant portrait, written with tenderness and very real images.  
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