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Open Poetry #29
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Miles Like Cubes Of Granite
| Open Poetry #29 |
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Miles Like Cubes Of Granite |
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James_A_Fraser Senior Member
since 2003-09-03
Posts 972Out Making Anticlines |
Miles Like Cubes Of Granite The miles lay like cubes of granite in between; thousands of them, a wall of miles, a fortress of sheer distance and they are the only thing that guards us erase them, bridge them and the love would surge in overwhelm my little trenches conquer all only separation can prevent it not will or good intentions no, they would perish as the first soldiers in an invasion fallen before they come within sight of the field we would be lost then lost they are all I have left all we have and yet mere distance, mere granite so weak a defense for us we need defending deserve defending as we are if that love should come and it would there would be no holding it could be no witholding we would be lost as a plane flies overhead I cringe, waiting for the detonation [This message has been edited by James_A_Fraser (11-21-2003 04:24 PM).] |
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| © Copyright 2003 James A. Fraser - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Sudhir Iyer Member Ascendant
since 2000-04-26
Posts 6943Mumbai, India : now in Belgium |
from the title till the last line, the flow of this write was just lucidly fluid... regards sudhir |
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Pilgrimage Member Elite
since 2001-12-04
Posts 3945Texas, USA |
Hi. It should be 'as a plane flies overhead'. Other than that, this rocks! You drew me in with the imagery, and got me with the plaintive emotion. Well done. Nan (Pilgrim variety) |
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angelblueyes Member Elite
since 2003-07-19
Posts 2148Oklahoma |
This was great.The flow was awesome and the imagery wonderful.  Crystal |
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suthern
since 1999-07-29
Posts 20723Louisiana |
no, they would perish as the first soldiers in an invasion fallen before they come within sight of the field we would be lost then lost You acknowledge the existence of weaknesses... and do so with a powerful write that leaves vivid images on the mind... Excellent work!! |
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Marge Tindal
since 1999-11-06
Posts 42384Florida's Foreverly Shores |
Jaime~ I could feel such a layering of emotion in this write~ 'a wall of miles, a fortress of sheer distance and they are the only thing that guards us erase them, bridge them and the love would surge in overwhelm my little trenches conquer all only separation can prevent it' Very much enjoyed the raw emotional power~ *Huglets* ~*Marge*~ ~*When the heart grieves over what it has lost, |
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JamesMichael Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-16
Posts 33336Kapolei, Hawaii, USA |
Nice writing...James |
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passing shadows Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577displaced |
I guess all one can do is wait, really |
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