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Open Poetry #29
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Abe
Senior Member
since 2003-05-28
Posts 694
Looks like Vero Beach, FL until the end!

0 posted 2003-11-16 12:01 PM



NEVER MIND


You felt love for a minute
And thought that it was real
You felt some new feelings
You thought you'd never feel.

They came down upon you
Like a raging thunderstorm
And you had your doubts
If it would last through till the morn.

Your heart went all a'flutter
You felt it beat real fast
Was this going to be your first
Or, was it the last, to last.

You sat back and felt it
With its' special beat
You thought, "This is really nice!"
It was really such a treat.

But when you woke in the morning
You found out it wasn't real
There's a difference in the hearts' thought
And what you really feel.

The heart can play tricks on you
Just like they do in the mind
And sometimes where your heart is
Is a place of"never mind".

Del "Abe" Jones

© Copyright 2003 Del - All Rights Reserved
Sparticus
Member
since 2003-11-15
Posts 245

1 posted 2003-11-16 12:15 PM


You felt love for a minute
And thought that it was real
You felt some new feelings
You thought you'd never feel.

They came down upon you
Like a raging thunderstorm
And you had your doubts
If it would last through till the morn.

Your heart went all a'flutter
You felt it beat real fast
Was this going to be your first
Or, was it the last, to last.

You sat back and felt it
With its' special beat
You thought, "This is really nice!"
It was really such a treat.

But when you woke in the morning
You found out it wasn't real
There's a difference in the hearts' thought
And what you really feel.

The heart can play tricks on you
Just like they do in the mind
And sometimes where your heart is
Is a place of"never mind".


In this I would love to see more original and new images and metaphors.  Your structure and the message are wonderful.

Sparticus

Even with insects-
some can sing
some can't

-Issa

Jes
Member
since 2003-10-21
Posts 422
Denmark
2 posted 2003-11-16 12:19 PM


I love the sound and the beat of it, you can feel when the lines need a break. And also when to start again taht must be the beat in it.

Smile i enjoyed

Jes


Seymour Tabin
Member Empyrean
since 1999-07-07
Posts 31720
Tamarac Fla
3 posted 2003-11-16 12:29 PM


Abe,
Good one enjoyed the read.

passing shadows
Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577
displaced
4 posted 2003-11-16 12:38 PM


Ah Abe, yes...so true so true
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