navwin » Archives » Open Poetry #29 » Elegy - Duet with Littlewing
Open Poetry #29
Post A Reply Post New Topic Elegy - Duet with Littlewing Go to Previous / Newer Topic Back to Topic List Go to Next / Older Topic
vlraynes
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-07-25
Posts 8229
Somewhere... out there...

0 posted 2003-11-15 06:35 PM




sequestered 'neath the
rubble of
a thousand lives
not mine

muted cries through
rock formations
over head and
under foot

stone by stone
constructed in a
monument of
broken lives in
quarter time
resounding
sing the
echoes of a
heart entombed
before it's time was
meant to be
and even now
they weep...

but for themselves

and they are heard on high

these cries

resounding choirs of anguish
lost within a sanctuary
birdcage kept locked
key within grasp

ohh so close . .  

that copper tinny taste
my palate awaits
the arrival, the beauty
the exhaulting psalm
of utter

release

_______________


Thank you, Sue...

When the power of love overcomes the
love of power the world will know peace.
-Jimi Hendrix

© Copyright 2003 Vicky L. Raynes - All Rights Reserved
Magnus
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Laureate
since 2001-10-10
Posts 14135
South Carolina, USA
1 posted 2003-11-15 06:37 PM


and thank you both,  Sue and Vicky....
very well blended together...

Duncan
Member Ascendant
since 2001-08-07
Posts 5455

2 posted 2003-11-15 06:51 PM


"echoes of a
heart entombed
before it's time was
meant to be
and even now
they weep...

but for themselves

and they are heard on high

these cries

resounding choirs of anguish
lost within a sanctuary
birdcage kept locked
key within grasp

ohh so close . ."

Enjoyed the style, flow, visual and angst of this.  Impressive write you two...   

Mistletoe Angel
Deputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 5 Tours
Member Empyrean
since 2000-12-17
Posts 32816
Portland, Oregon
3 posted 2003-11-15 07:00 PM




(big hugggssssssss) God Bless You, dearest Sue and Vicky, this made me cry as the imagery and matter is so intense and heartaching yet you offer sympathy and hope to all these who truly must crawl through the rubble and pray to keep breathing! (sad sigh) You bring compassion to many, sweet friend, God Bless You Both, we all love you so much! You have such beautiful hearts, sweet Sue and Vicky, thank you for sharing!



May love and light always shine upon you!

Love,
Noah Eaton


I don't need no proof when it comes to God and truth
I can see the sun set and I perceive

***Live***

[This message has been edited by Mistletoe Angel (11-15-2003 07:01 PM).]

BluesSerenade
Member Patricius
since 2001-10-23
Posts 10549
By the Seaside
4 posted 2003-11-15 07:27 PM


sequestered 'neath the
rubble of
a thousand lives
not mine

You two are a wonder of words..truly!!
This made me breathe so deep and sigh so hard, while somewhere in between I felt the healing.  Thanks for this jewel of a poem.

So pretty, ladies~



littlewing
Member Rara Avis
since 2003-03-02
Posts 9655
New York
5 posted 2003-11-16 01:29 AM


Thank you Barry . . twas Vicky who inspired me . . . I was replying to one of her writes

Thanks Duncan . . . good to see you reading US *smile*

Noah, you are always so sweet and right on in your replies, I can always read what you see and understand myself that much better
thank you

Thanks Bluesygal . . . exactly what we mean to do . .  make you FEEL
tweets


Thanks guys

and Vic?  Thank you for the inspiraton, truly my sis

xxoo

passing shadows
Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577
displaced
6 posted 2003-11-16 01:33 AM


I don't know how you do it...I can never think when someone asks me to duet...not even a first phrase

I admire you two!

serenity blaze
Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738

7 posted 2003-11-16 02:48 AM


this...is combined beauty.

my my mysistas...





encore?

Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354
Listening to every heart
8 posted 2003-11-16 06:42 AM



I received the distinct picture
in my mind
of a pyramid...

duet again soon, you two...

EvocativeVerse2
Senior Member
since 2003-09-10
Posts 1279

9 posted 2003-11-16 08:32 AM


Wonderfully done both of you. Loved it!

Remember, if you're not part of the future, you're history!

Seymour Tabin
Member Empyrean
since 1999-07-07
Posts 31720
Tamarac Fla
10 posted 2003-11-16 09:16 AM


Sue and Vicky,
You could not do better. Wonderful write.

NewEnglandlazurlu
Member Rara Avis
since 2002-01-04
Posts 7470
A Mountain Paradise
11 posted 2003-11-16 11:00 AM


Vicky and Sue this is about as good as it gets. You two are fabulous together.

Thank you ... hugs, Marti

“Prayer makes the heart large enough until it can contain God’s gift of Himself.”
Blessed Mother Teresa

nakdthoughts
Member Laureate
since 2000-10-29
Posts 19200
Between the Lines
12 posted 2003-11-16 11:03 AM


yes, combined beauty..as Serenity has said.

*s
M

Nan
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-20
Posts 21191
Cape Cod Massachusetts USA
13 posted 2003-11-16 02:19 PM


Very nicely done, ladies... The "rubble of a thousand lives..."  This is some nice verse...
Marge Tindal
Deputy Moderator 5 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-06
Posts 42384
Florida's Foreverly Shores
14 posted 2003-11-16 04:38 PM


Vicky & LittleWing~
I think this is very special~
Absolutely a marvelous meld of poetic voices~
*Huglets*
~*Marge*~

~*When the heart grieves over what it has lost,
the spirit rejoices over what it has left.
- Sufi epigram
       noles1@totcon.com   

garysgirl
Deputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 5 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Laureate
since 2002-09-29
Posts 19237
Florida, USA
15 posted 2003-11-16 04:51 PM


Vicky and Sue, I love the way you two blended together.......one of the most perfect that I have seen in a duet. I honestly don't know who wrote which lines. Most of the time I see a difference, even if it is a slight difference. I would love to read more duets by you two!!!! Please?
Hugs  
Ethel

Kaoru
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Elite
since 2003-06-07
Posts 3892
where the wild flowers grow
16 posted 2003-11-16 04:57 PM


Purrrrrfection!
Earth Angel
Member Empyrean
since 2002-08-27
Posts 40215
Realms of Light
17 posted 2003-11-16 07:40 PM


I knew that I had to click on a duet by you two special poetesses and women!

I would like to echo BluesSerenades eloquent reply! Those are my sentiments exactly! (She's good at writing my feelings! lol)

Sending a for each of you & one for Lori for her apt reply that I
borrowed!

Linda

Jason Lyle
Senior Member
since 2003-02-07
Posts 1438
With my darkling
18 posted 2003-11-16 07:54 PM


One of the best duets I have read, well done ladies.

Jason

inkedgoddess
Member Rara Avis
since 2002-11-19
Posts 7392
Ohio
19 posted 2003-11-16 10:38 PM



a trickle of light and a breath of air
if only on a prayer, yes i like this, cant tell where one began and the other ended
well done ,women

littlewing
Member Rara Avis
since 2003-03-02
Posts 9655
New York
20 posted 2003-11-17 09:24 AM


Thank you Dixie and sure you can duet . .
*smile*  easy as riding a bike LMAO
thank you

my sweet sista K . . yes I am sure there will be thank you Lady

OMG Kari, cool . . *smile* instant imagery
thank you

Thank you Kevin so very much

aww Sy you are so sweet thank you

Hey Marti, thank you so much

Maureen . . thank you *smile*

Hey Nan, Oh My . . from you this means a lot thank you

Hey Marge, thank you so very much
*smiling*

Ethel, you are so sweet and honest
thank you so much an glad you liked
LittleOne

Thank you Meg, mreorrrwwwwww

See that now Linda?  Sheesh you had better save me a seat up there . . .
thank you

Jason, my good man thank you so very much a lot said right there

Thank you Michele, it was all Vicky, I just responded to one of her writings

Thanks guys
xxoo  

Susan Caldwell
Member Rara Avis
since 2002-12-27
Posts 8348
Florida
21 posted 2003-11-17 12:39 PM


Duncan stole my favorite lines...

Wonderful combo!  

"if you won't let me fall for you
then you won't see the best that I would love to do for you"
~Dido~

Mysteria
Deputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Laureate
since 2001-03-07
Posts 18328
British Columbia, Canada
22 posted 2003-11-17 12:52 PM


What a dynamic duo ~ hmmm, so you do more than just talk all night LOL   Great work ladies.
Dark Angel
Member Patricius
since 1999-08-04
Posts 10095

23 posted 2003-11-17 02:34 PM


Ahh what a fabulous blending, beautiful work Vicky and Sue. Please Duet again

MAree.

fate is not just
whose cooking  smells good
but which way the wind blows

(Ani DiFranco)


vlraynes
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-07-25
Posts 8229
Somewhere... out there...
24 posted 2003-11-17 02:45 PM



Hi, all...I only have a minute, but wanted to
thank you all for the kind and generous comments.
They are truly appreciated...every one of them.

I'll be back to say more, when I have more time.
Meanwhile...love and hugs to you all...

And, Sue?...this was by no means 'all Vicky'...smile
You completed this...in more ways than one...

Thank you for YOU...

When the power of love overcomes the
love of power the world will know peace.
-Jimi Hendrix

Kazm
Member
since 2003-11-13
Posts 99

25 posted 2003-11-17 03:41 PM


Two people wrote this together, but I can't tell any differences. It's wonderful. I can't visualize two people matching so well.
Enchantress
Member Empyrean
since 2001-08-14
Posts 35113
Canada eh.
26 posted 2003-11-17 03:49 PM


Beautiful blending of thoughts here..
please grace these blue pages with another duet soon!
Hugs to you both, Nancy~

~I've loved you forever, in lifetimes before~

littlewing
Member Rara Avis
since 2003-03-02
Posts 9655
New York
27 posted 2003-11-18 12:26 PM


Thank you Susan, your words are just as fine *smile*

ahahahaha Sharon . . that was good
on this night YES thank you

Thank you Maree . . . you know I always
look forward to your insight
duet heh

Kaz, I dont know some days that woman just shares my brain . .  thank you

Thank you Nancy .  . so very sweet to us

Vicky, oh yes it was stop that
all I did was sneeze on the page
over there *smile*  
I am grateful for you too,
me sis
thank you
and I do know

Thanks guys
xxoo

hoot_owl_rn
Member Patricius
since 1999-07-05
Posts 10750
Glen Hope, PA USA
28 posted 2003-11-18 08:46 PM


a well blended write
Greeneyes
Deputy Moderator 50 ToursDeputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-09-09
Posts 9903
In Your Poetic Mind
29 posted 2003-11-18 10:48 PM


A wonderful blending of two fine poets.....

hugsssx2


Lauren~

I had a dream last night
you came to me on silver wings of light
I flew away with you in painted sky
Was it real
Is it what you see,touch or feel

wranx
Member Elite
since 2002-06-07
Posts 3689
Moved from a shack to a barn
30 posted 2003-11-19 10:28 AM


I often delay replying to a poem while it is still a hot topic. But, since this one doesnt seem to want to drift away, I'll let you know now, how very nice this reads.

It's a complete work and has none of the hesitancy that you see in a lot of duets

In a word, SMOOOOOOTH!

[This message has been edited by wranx (11-19-2003 10:29 AM).]

vandana
Deputy Moderator 5 Tours
Member Patricius
since 1999-10-22
Posts 10463
USA
31 posted 2003-11-19 10:36 AM


very nice
Cpat Hair
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Patricius
since 2001-06-05
Posts 11793

32 posted 2003-11-19 10:38 AM


I'll echo Ed here.. smooth indeed...
littlewing
Member Rara Avis
since 2003-03-02
Posts 9655
New York
33 posted 2003-11-19 04:20 PM


Thank you so much hoot (hoo hoo was that an echo?)  Ok im nuts . . after seeing your acrostic I just about died and a sestina!
So thank you for this

Thank you so much Lauren

Baby?  thank you so much
*smiling*  you made em think of that
tune by Santana and Rob somebody . . .

" . . .because shee's soooo smoooth . . ."
Eddie?


Thank you V!

Ron thank you so much
yes, of course you would say that
you guys practically share the same
brain
*smile*
thank you

Thanks guys
xxoo


SEA
Deputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 5 Tours
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 2000-01-18
Posts 22676
with you
34 posted 2003-11-19 05:44 PM


you two blended perfectly here...I loved this
littlewing
Member Rara Avis
since 2003-03-02
Posts 9655
New York
35 posted 2003-11-20 09:47 AM


Thank you Susan
xxoo

Post A Reply Post New Topic ⇧ top of page ⇧ Go to Previous / Newer Topic Back to Topic List Go to Next / Older Topic
All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format.
navwin » Archives » Open Poetry #29 » Elegy - Duet with Littlewing

Passions in Poetry | pipTalk Home Page | Main Poetry Forums | 100 Best Poems

How to Join | Member's Area / Help | Private Library | Search | Contact Us | Login
Discussion | Tech Talk | Archives | Sanctuary