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Open Poetry #29
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SEA
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with you

0 posted 2003-11-08 03:26 AM








I’m still breathing.......after all these years
time kept on moving......but I’m not out of tears
I hold my breath sometimes.....because it’s you, I breath in
each exhale hoping.......for the healing to begin

they said it would get better.......oh, but they were wrong
without you beside me.......forever is too damn long
each new dawn brings that ache......that just won’t subside
they said my life would go on.......but it seems to me, they lied

I don’t focus on the future......I reminisce in yesterday
when I was blind to the notion......you could ever go away
and baby, I’m still breathing......until this life of mine is through
as it was before you left me.....I remain, the one in love with you


~SEA~

© Copyright 2003 S.E. A - All Rights Reserved
passing shadows
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since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577
displaced
1 posted 2003-11-08 03:31 AM


you just broke my heart
Mistletoe Angel
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Portland, Oregon
2 posted 2003-11-08 03:31 AM




(big hugggssssssss) Oh Susan, this is so sad but beautiful, sweet friend, the form here is splendid, it is as though the break between each line with the ellipses represents that chasm, like your heart being a fjord that longs to have a bridge of hope closing it! (sigh) God Bless You, sweet friend, I send many angel hugs your way, we all love you so much! You have such a beautiful heart, sweet Susan, thank you for sharing!



May love and light always shine upon you!

Love,
Noah Eaton

I don't need no proof when it comes to God and truth
I can see the sun set and I perceive

***Live***

Greeneyes
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Member Rara Avis
since 2000-09-09
Posts 9903
In Your Poetic Mind
3 posted 2003-11-08 10:30 AM


hugsss lady.....so beautifully sad...

Lauren~

i carry your heart with me
i am never without it
you are what a moon has always meant sky of sky
the wonder that keeps stars apart-
e.e.cummings

Marge Tindal
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since 1999-11-06
Posts 42384
Florida's Foreverly Shores
4 posted 2003-11-08 12:04 PM


SEA~
This has such a quiet beauty to it~
You know that this one knows my heart too~
*Huglets*
~*Marge*~

~*When the heart grieves over what it has lost,
the spirit rejoices over what it has left.
- Sufi epigram
       noles1@totcon.com   

Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354
Listening to every heart
5 posted 2003-11-08 01:15 PM


Ok, you...with this picture, I want you to rewrite this very poem, using the language that an Indian woman would use knowing that her warrior has perished...

double dog dare you...

Enjoying this one, very much!

Jes
Member
since 2003-10-21
Posts 422
Denmark
6 posted 2003-11-08 01:25 PM


SEA -----> Sea of tears !

The thoughts and remembering we shall never forget cause its our heart were it is.

Off course we will cry and miss and feel the needs of the love that passed.

But.......

We have to build up our everyday again and stil be able to enjoy and live, even though our hearts are sad, we can still smile, and live until the day we again shall meet.

Tear filled smiles ---- i loved this.

Jes

[This message has been edited by Jes (11-08-2003 01:27 PM).]

Enchantress
Member Empyrean
since 2001-08-14
Posts 35113
Canada eh.
7 posted 2003-11-08 01:29 PM


Love this Susan!
Love your grace and style of writing...
~Smiles & Hugs, Nancy~

~Time has cast a spell on you,
  So you won't ever forget me~

Magnus
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Member Laureate
since 2001-10-10
Posts 14135
South Carolina, USA
8 posted 2003-11-08 01:32 PM


An awesome write...love this form...it
speaks so clearly and carries the
emotions like a firestorm.... Very well
done...thanx Sue

GG
Member Elite
since 2002-12-03
Posts 3532
Lost in thought
9 posted 2003-11-08 01:39 PM


I keep leaving and coming back to this, thinking that I'll be able to come up with the right the to say, even with how it makes me feel... but I just don't know.
It does though...
it makes me feel.
I Love this.

Always, Alyssa

- And so it was that time stood still -
     (blink, breathe, stand, fight)

garysgirl
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Member Laureate
since 2002-09-29
Posts 19237
Florida, USA
10 posted 2003-11-08 01:52 PM


Oh my, Susan.....you  felt  so much in this one
that it made me  feel  so  much!!
Thank you for sharing this.  

JamesMichael
Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-16
Posts 33336
Kapolei, Hawaii, USA
11 posted 2003-11-08 06:36 PM


Nice writing...James
froggy
Senior Member
since 2003-06-23
Posts 1893
Michigan
12 posted 2003-11-08 08:10 PM


Beautiful and sad both Sea.

Some people say time heals all. I myself have often questioned it though.

Hugs to you


NewEnglandlazurlu
Member Rara Avis
since 2002-01-04
Posts 7470
A Mountain Paradise
13 posted 2003-11-08 08:29 PM


Awww....this is so soft and yet so sad. I've read it several times and it resonates with many feelings.

I love the style with which you wrote this Susan.

Huggles, Marti

SmartChick
Member Rara Avis
since 2001-09-23
Posts 7081
On A Journey To The Unknown
14 posted 2003-11-08 08:48 PM


Hi Susan! This is a beautiful poem. As well as the picture.
SharaRose
Member Elite
since 2003-07-19
Posts 2501
Somewhere out there~
15 posted 2003-11-08 11:35 PM


All I can say is it's one of those times when you want to speak, but can't because you are choknig back the tears. wow..this must be my night to cry, or pass around the little kissy icon...sending a hug.
Love,
Terri~

Aimster
Member Elite
since 2000-02-19
Posts 4297
Charlotte, NC
16 posted 2003-11-12 08:57 PM


you know i felt this one girlie--
awesome write...you write ache
and sadness unlike any other.
take care
love ya,
amy

"love is like a butterfly--
if you chase it,
it will surely fly away,instead
hold it close and watch it grow into
something beautiful"
~me~

Corinne
Member Ascendant
since 1999-10-28
Posts 5167
state of confusion
17 posted 2003-11-12 09:20 PM


Such a sad poem, SEA, such an old soul in your young voice.


Corinne

Dee
Member Elite
since 2000-08-19
Posts 2330
Queensland, Australia
18 posted 2003-11-17 07:16 AM


Keep breathing and keep writing and I will keep reading

Dee

PS hope you had a great birthday my fellow scorpio

Stand straight and tall, not the reflection as others see you, but as you truely are.        Clearwater

coyote
Senior Member
since 2001-03-17
Posts 1077

19 posted 2003-11-17 08:49 AM


Beautiful piece about the truest love.

coyote 8)

Susan Caldwell
Member Rara Avis
since 2002-12-27
Posts 8348
Florida
20 posted 2003-11-17 12:13 PM


  I am with Dixie on this one...

...library...

"if you won't let me fall for you
then you won't see the best that I would love to do for you"
~Dido~

Cpat Hair
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Member Patricius
since 2001-06-05
Posts 11793

21 posted 2003-11-17 12:18 PM


I don’t focus on the future......I reminisce in yesterday
when I was blind to the notion......you could ever go away
and baby, I’m still breathing......until this life of mine is through
as it was before you left me.....I remain, the one in love with you


my friend... you left me without words..


Earth Angel
Member Empyrean
since 2002-08-27
Posts 40215
Realms of Light
22 posted 2003-11-17 12:26 PM


Sweet SEA, your sad song sings mellifluously.

Loving hugs,
EA

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