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Open Poetry #29
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Corinne
Member Ascendant
since 1999-10-28
Posts 5167
state of confusion

0 posted 2003-11-03 07:21 PM


You watch her from the corner of your eye,
worrying she’ll explode like last winter,
when she never slept and was never tired,
when she was angry at people in cars
and couldn’t take it when laws were broken;

those days when she cried inconsolably
through the rainy months, clutching pill bottles,
cold hands pressing the tightness in her chest
where her ability to laugh was crushed.

It’s beginning to build in her again,
you can tell because she is distracted --
clipping her vibrant ideas mid-sentence,
hands in the air, where unfinished thoughts go.

[This message has been edited by Corinne (11-03-2003 07:27 PM).]

© Copyright 2003 Corinne - All Rights Reserved
littlewing
Member Rara Avis
since 2003-03-02
Posts 9655
New York
1 posted 2003-11-03 07:29 PM


Corinne:

right here . . .

you can tell because she is distracted --
clipping her vibrant ideas mid-sentence,

My goodness . . .
I know this
beautiful writing
you brought me there
within her
xxoo

SEA
Deputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 5 Tours
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 2000-01-18
Posts 22676
with you
2 posted 2003-11-03 07:40 PM


"It’s beginning to build in her again,
you can tell because she is distracted --
clipping her vibrant ideas mid-sentence,
hands in the air, where unfinished thoughts go."


sounds like me when I have had enough and don't know how to say my cup is too darn full....(lol)
this is fantastic writing

Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049
California
3 posted 2003-11-03 07:49 PM


Corinne...What a poignant portrait!
Corinne
Member Ascendant
since 1999-10-28
Posts 5167
state of confusion
4 posted 2003-11-03 09:59 PM


Thanks Littlewing, Martie and SEA!


Core


suthern
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Seraphic
since 1999-07-29
Posts 20723
Louisiana
5 posted 2003-11-03 10:04 PM


cold hands pressing the tightness in her chest
where her ability to laugh was crushed.

You've captured this heartbreak superbly... this leaves me aching.

Aenimal
Member Rara Avis
since 2002-11-18
Posts 7350
the ass-end of space
6 posted 2003-11-03 11:52 PM


oh damn...you know I absolutely adore your work but this..my favourite thusfar
wranx
Member Elite
since 2002-06-07
Posts 3689
Moved from a shack to a barn
7 posted 2003-11-04 12:15 PM


Well? When she's like that, duck!

(It's a hard place...where she lives, when she's like that)

Good write Core...Very

Temptress
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-06-15
Posts 7136
Mobile, AL
8 posted 2003-11-04 01:44 AM


good to see you, Cor. You are amazing here. I always love the words your work speaks.


I LOVE YOU! I LOVE YOU! I LOVE YOU!


passing shadows
Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577
displaced
9 posted 2003-11-04 01:59 AM


damn...this hit close to home for me
Dark Angel
Member Patricius
since 1999-08-04
Posts 10095

10 posted 2003-11-04 08:24 AM


It’s beginning to build in her again,
you can tell because she is distracted --
clipping her vibrant ideas mid-sentence,
hands in the air, where unfinished thoughts go.


fan-bloody-tastic...seriously.

Maree

fate is not just
whose cooking  smells good
but which way the wind blows

(Ani DiFranco)


Marge Tindal
Deputy Moderator 5 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-06
Posts 42384
Florida's Foreverly Shores
11 posted 2003-11-04 10:37 AM


Corinne~
Oh yeah ... I have recognized that plateau ... time to go to the meadow and SCREAM~

Wonderful penning sweetie~
*Huglets*
~*Marge*~

~*When the heart grieves over what it has lost,
the spirit rejoices over what it has left.
- Sufi epigram
     noles1@totcon.com     

Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354
Listening to every heart
12 posted 2003-11-04 10:57 AM



Dang it, you captured the moment!
Well done, girl!

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