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Open Poetry #29
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Martie
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since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049
California

0 posted 2003-11-03 06:15 PM



Trench Coat

I was so happy to have
that second hand trench coat,
not lined for warmth
but flapping in the San Francisco air,
as exuberant as my long long hair.

I went to the docks
holding the coat closed around me
like a beige drenched lover,
catching the smell of fish,
and the rain was in my face.

The silver slanted buildings
reflected in the dimples of the water
as I walked with a lovely joy
born of youth and being cold
and a crazy free feeling.

Without that coat I might not have seen
the seals slapping against the pilings
as I ran down the street,
or the man in a yellow slicker who looked
with tarnished eyes
at my matted sky rinsed smile.

I loved that trench coat.

© Copyright 2003 Martie Odell Ingebretsen - All Rights Reserved
Ratleader
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Member Rara Avis
since 2003-01-23
Posts 7026
Visiting Earth on a Guest Pass
1 posted 2003-11-03 06:18 PM


Ratleader grabs Reply Number One, then goes back to edit in his comment.....

I truly like this -- it shows a part of Martie that many of us haven't seen, and that everybody should see. Much more to you than meets the eye, though what meets the eye is enough for anyone! Thanks for sharing this extra portion.....

~~(¸¸¸¸ºº>   ~~(¸¸¸¸ºº>  ~~(¸¸ ¸¸ºº>    ~~~(¸¸ER¸¸ºº>
______________Ratleader______________

[This message has been edited by Ratleader (11-03-2003 06:24 PM).]

Duncan
Member Ascendant
since 2001-08-07
Posts 5455

2 posted 2003-11-03 06:25 PM


"I went to the docks
holding the coat closed around me
like a beige drenched lover,
catching the smell of fish,
and the rain was in my face.

The silver slanted buildings
reflected in the dimples of the water
as I walked with a lovely joy
born of youth and being cold
and a crazy free feeling."

Made me smile Martie.  Amazing what you made me feel with a poem about a trenchcoat.  Some very fine writing, filled all the senses...

icebox
Member Elite
since 2003-05-03
Posts 4383
in the shadows
3 posted 2003-11-03 06:28 PM


"Without that coat I might not have seen
the seals slapping against the pilings
as I ran down the street,
or the man in a yellow slicker who looked
with tarnished eyes
at my matted sky rinsed smile."

Without this life, I might have missed your smile.



Enchantress
Member Empyrean
since 2001-08-14
Posts 35113
Canada eh.
4 posted 2003-11-03 06:29 PM


Oh Martie..I love this!!
It's so free, open and....UP!!!
Very much enjoyed...I want me a trench coat!
Hugs~

~Time has cast a spell on you,
  So you won't ever forget me~

Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354
Listening to every heart
5 posted 2003-11-03 06:40 PM


as I walked with a lovely joy
born of youth and being cold
and a crazy free feeling.

~*~

I remember that feel.  Thanks for slipping
it back into my thoughts.

Goodknight
Member Elite
since 2002-06-15
Posts 2386
Ohio, USA
6 posted 2003-11-03 07:08 PM


Martie - you look wonderful in that trench coat - you write it so well - Paul
littlewing
Member Rara Avis
since 2003-03-02
Posts 9655
New York
7 posted 2003-11-03 07:19 PM


Martie?

just when I think I have seen everything
YOU WRITE
*smile*

holding the coat closed around me
like a beige drenched lover,

what amazing precious lines
and OH that feeling of free
YES
I love this
you amaze me consistently
xxoo

Corinne
Member Ascendant
since 1999-10-28
Posts 5167
state of confusion
8 posted 2003-11-03 07:31 PM


This is wonderful, Martie!

Core

suthern
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Member Seraphic
since 1999-07-29
Posts 20723
Louisiana
9 posted 2003-11-03 09:44 PM


This is so vivid... so ALIVE. *S* I like it very much. *S*
Magnus
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Member Laureate
since 2001-10-10
Posts 14135
South Carolina, USA
10 posted 2003-11-03 10:06 PM


A little nostalgia from the Lady M.  Well
done dear one.  Another twinkling write
from your HUGE bag of poetic tricks...

Janet Marie
Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554

11 posted 2003-11-03 11:25 PM


at my matted sky rinsed smile.
==============================


and oh how I love your poetry.

could that line be any cooler???
Love the exhuberance and innocence of this write Martie-girl.

Words break into splinters on the pages I write
If I lost you I don't know what I'd do ...
Burn forever where the flame turns blue

David Gray

passing shadows
Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577
displaced
12 posted 2003-11-04 03:28 AM


I never know exactly what to say to you Martie...I'm always left speechless
dingusjr
Member
since 2003-09-24
Posts 415
Missouri
13 posted 2003-11-04 03:44 AM


Martie!   Good, good stuff here.   I learned to love that trenchcoat, too!
Thanks,  Larry

Dark Angel
Member Patricius
since 1999-08-04
Posts 10095

14 posted 2003-11-04 08:12 AM


Exceptional imagery Martie.

keeping it.

Maree

fate is not just
whose cooking  smells good
but which way the wind blows

(Ani DiFranco)


Susan Caldwell
Member Rara Avis
since 2002-12-27
Posts 8348
Florida
15 posted 2003-11-04 08:53 AM


I have a trench coat and have never gotten to use it for what I got it for...

Martie this was beautiful, light and so wonderfully written!  

Was it at Fisherman's Wharf?  I loved that place...



Susan


Almost forgot:  I love the new pic!!

"if you won't let me fall for you
then you won't see the best that I would love to do for you"
~Dido~


[This message has been edited by Susan Caldwell (11-04-2003 08:54 AM).]

Ericc
Member Elite
since 2003-01-31
Posts 4178

16 posted 2003-11-04 09:48 AM


What a wonderful story told in such poetic words!

Eric

Marge Tindal
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since 1999-11-06
Posts 42384
Florida's Foreverly Shores
17 posted 2003-11-04 10:13 AM


Sis~

'I went to the docks
holding the coat closed around me
like a beige drenched lover'


*sighing* at the thought~
SO Martiesque~
*Huglets*
~*Marge*~

~*When the heart grieves over what it has lost,
the spirit rejoices over what it has left.
- Sufi epigram
     noles1@totcon.com     

Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049
California
18 posted 2003-11-04 10:48 AM


Thank you for taking this journey into the past with me...and yes, Susan, it was fisherman's wharf, but the back side of it.
EvocativeVerse2
Senior Member
since 2003-09-10
Posts 1279

19 posted 2003-11-04 02:32 PM


Oh I love this Martie! Very well done. Made me think of an old blue long coat I used to own in high school. Man I loved that thing...the way it billowed out behind me like wings when I walked in the breeze, the way it could be wrapped tightly about me to keep out the breeze. Bravo! Loved it!

Remember, if you're not part of the future, you're history!

Krawdad
Member Elite
since 2001-01-03
Posts 2597

20 posted 2003-11-04 02:39 PM


Love this! and its freeedom . . .
jellybeans
Member Elite
since 2000-10-13
Posts 2298

21 posted 2003-11-04 03:00 PM


love this, you wrap the reader with emotions just as the coat wrapped you.....very very well presented pretty lady
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