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Open Poetry #29
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Kethry
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-07-29
Posts 9082
Victoria Australia

0 posted 2003-10-30 07:23 PM


I sit in the cold and the rain
To think of my days in the sun
Tears soften the edge of my pain

Somehow I cannot explain
My joy in the race I have run
I sit in the cold and the rain

I think that our living is vain
Death comes to all when life's done
Tears soften the edge of my pain

All that I was, will remain
Not dulled by the blade through my run
I sit in the cold and the rain

Some think that I'm going insane
It's my way of having some fun
Tears soften the edge of my pain

My life has been painted in dun
Alone in the dark I have won
I sit in the cold and the rain
Tears soften the edge of my pain



Here in the midst of my lonely abyss, a single joy I find...your presence in my mind.  Unknown


[This message has been edited by Kethry (10-31-2003 09:06 PM).]

© Copyright 2003 Lynne Dale - All Rights Reserved
Magnus
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Laureate
since 2001-10-10
Posts 14135
South Carolina, USA
1 posted 2003-10-30 07:37 PM


"My life has been painted in dun"....
a very apt line which blends well with
the feel of this piece....Interesting
rhyme scheme,  I feel there is something
to this that I just can't grasp..regarding
the form....  Nice write, Keth.  Have missed
seeing you recently.  

Kethry
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-07-29
Posts 9082
Victoria Australia
2 posted 2003-10-30 07:44 PM


Magnus,
It's a standard Vilanelle nothing special. Not like yours that blew me away - so echoing of my thoughts was it. *S
Keth

Here in the midst of my lonely abyss, a single joy I find...your presence in my mind.  Unknown



Dr.Moose1
Member Elite
since 1999-09-05
Posts 3448
Bewilderment , USA
3 posted 2003-10-30 08:19 PM


Kethry,
And well done at that! Been many moons since I've attempted one of these pesky little beggers. Your subject is strong, the flow, excellent, I'd have to brush up on the intricasies of form, but it reads good to me.
Darn, now I may have to try one again! As you used to say " Write on".
Doc

Rdz9
Member
since 2003-03-16
Posts 142
MT, USA
4 posted 2003-11-01 03:50 AM


I enjoyed your free-flowing style... and everyone has their rainy days in life... but theres always some sun in the future... eventualy. Enjoyed.
Rob

One in a sea of millions has the power to change the world...

passing shadows
Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577
displaced
5 posted 2003-11-01 04:16 AM


I know
suthern
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Seraphic
since 1999-07-29
Posts 20723
Louisiana
6 posted 2003-11-01 06:54 AM


Words that touch deeply written in flawless format... this is excellent, my friend.
Marge Tindal
Deputy Moderator 5 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-06
Posts 42384
Florida's Foreverly Shores
7 posted 2003-11-01 07:37 AM


Kethry~
You are GOOD !!!!
This is excellent poetry .. conveying the thoughts so very well~
I love you and miss your sweet smile~
*Huglets*
~*Marge*~

~*When the heart grieves over what it has lost,
the spirit rejoices over what it has left.
- Sufi epigram
     noles1@totcon.com     

EvocativeVerse2
Senior Member
since 2003-09-10
Posts 1279

8 posted 2003-11-01 01:08 PM


Painted in dun! LOL! NOw I could take that line two ways...and the one I choose is the lesser polite. Love this piece Kethry. Well done indeed. Great poem.

Remember, if you're not part of the future, you're history!

Mistletoe Angel
Deputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 5 Tours
Member Empyrean
since 2000-12-17
Posts 32816
Portland, Oregon
9 posted 2003-11-01 01:45 PM






(big hugggssssssss) Nothing special? Nothing special tra-la-la? LOL! Villanelles are one of the most beautiful forms of poetry in my mind and truly are an accomplishment to write perfectly, yay, God Bless You, this is powerfully heartfet, we all love you so much! You have such a beautiful heart, sweet Kethry, thank you for sharing!



May love and light always shine upon you!

Love,
Noah Eaton

I don't need no proof when it comes to God and truth
I can see the sun set and I perceive

***Live***

jwesley
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-04-30
Posts 7563
Spring, Texas
10 posted 2003-11-01 01:49 PM


I thought it was better than special actually and very, very well done...

This kind of writing takes effort and thought, something I've never been very good with...

jwesley

Kethry
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-07-29
Posts 9082
Victoria Australia
11 posted 2003-11-02 10:22 PM


Noah, It was a piece of cake - the quisner kind.
To everyone else thanks.
Kethry

Here in the midst of my lonely abyss, a single joy I find...your presence in my mind.  Unknown



JamesMichael
Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-16
Posts 33336
Kapolei, Hawaii, USA
12 posted 2003-11-04 06:29 PM


Yes tears do soften...James
vandana
Deputy Moderator 5 Tours
Member Patricius
since 1999-10-22
Posts 10463
USA
13 posted 2003-11-04 06:46 PM


enjoyed
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