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Open Poetry #29
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Wind
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since 2002-10-12
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0 posted 2003-10-28 08:40 PM



Children built this city
out of
wooden blocks

then knocked it down.

we cry sometimes,
and
that’s okay,
just be wary of the electricity-
it loves you tears,
it loves to travel through your veins.

when everything crumbles-
then I’ll stand,
I’ll be on top in the end,
when we throw the food chain off the edge.

Let’s build a pyramid,
humans on bottom,
rats on top-
city’s within cities within cities-
feeding on fear at the foot of your bed,
ripping the wires that bring light to your head.

wake up!
it’s just a dream,
see? we made it up,
the morning alarm returns our sanity.

see the daylight?
nearby,
but just out of reach;
drowning in the sun leaves twice the burn.

What about China? Have you seen the Great Wall?
All walls are great, if the roof doesn't fall.
-yorke/bjork

© Copyright 2003 Liz - All Rights Reserved
ecrivan
Member Elite
since 2001-12-10
Posts 3923
my own state
1 posted 2003-10-28 09:27 PM


that's an interesting perspective... imagining that we're living within the blocks we used to build the houses of our dreams...enjoyed the read;0


PsychoticBunni
Member
since 2003-10-03
Posts 162
Mythical Atlantis
2 posted 2003-10-28 09:29 PM


sounds pretty. and this is in what part of ur imagination? lol. luvin it.

Meg- And the Texan pushed the Mexican out of the plane and screamed, "Long live the ALAMO!!!!!!!!!"

Aenimal
Member Rara Avis
since 2002-11-18
Posts 7350
the ass-end of space
3 posted 2003-10-28 09:43 PM


was wondering where you were, was going to get my nurse to wheel me from my padded cell to yours but i can here you loud and clear through the vents
SEA
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Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 2000-01-18
Posts 22676
with you
4 posted 2003-10-28 10:49 PM


"see the daylight?
nearby,
but just out of reach;
drowning in the sun leaves twice the burn."

very cool write

littlewing
Member Rara Avis
since 2003-03-02
Posts 9655
New York
5 posted 2003-10-29 12:14 PM


This reminded me so much of "The Stand" by Stephen King . . .

wake up!
it’s just a dream,
see? we made it up,
the morning alarm returns our sanity.

cept for my morning alarm brings me sanity . . .
ok not ALL the time . . .
four out of seven maybe
Blowing my mind here Liz
xxoo

Susan Caldwell
Member Rara Avis
since 2002-12-27
Posts 8348
Florida
6 posted 2003-10-29 12:18 PM


"when everything crumbles-
then I’ll stand,
I’ll be on top in the end,
when we throw the food chain off the edge."

Can we do it soon?

I love your thoughts.

Susan

"if you won't let me fall for you
then you won't see the best that I would love to do for you"
~Dido~

Wind
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since 2002-10-12
Posts 2981

7 posted 2003-10-29 04:10 PM


nya....responding fellow victems of insanity

What about China? Have you seen the Great Wall?
All walls are great, if the roof doesn't fall.
-yorke/bjork

gemjop
Member Elite
since 2002-11-18
Posts 2587
Pencilveinia, USA
8 posted 2003-10-30 06:45 PM


WHY is this down here?

did i ever tell you i hate life?

love ya.


gemjop
Member Elite
since 2002-11-18
Posts 2587
Pencilveinia, USA
9 posted 2003-10-30 06:47 PM


P.S

E bay saved my life

or made it that bit worse, i can't decide.

Wind
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since 2002-10-12
Posts 2981

10 posted 2003-10-30 07:04 PM


it was down there because it was tired.

like many people...yawns..

What about China? Have you seen the Great Wall?
All walls are great, if the roof doesn't fall.
-yorke/bjork

BluesSerenade
Member Patricius
since 2001-10-23
Posts 10549
By the Seaside
11 posted 2003-10-30 07:35 PM


Ooooooooo, good poem Windy woman!
Liked this a lot!!!

I’ll be on top in the end,
when we throw the food chain off the edge.

As well as the punch you packed into the ending.

Very nice~


Kethry
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-07-29
Posts 9082
Victoria Australia
12 posted 2003-10-30 07:50 PM


Ahh! the building blocks of post modern de-constructionism.
Kethry

Here in the midst of my lonely abyss, a single joy I find...your presence in my mind.  Unknown



mytuesdaywishes
Member
since 2003-09-05
Posts 254
a voice from the musicbox
13 posted 2003-11-01 12:58 PM


fantastic as usual, you're my favorite

i think that it's brainless to assume that making changes to your window's view will gain a new perspective.

pandonov
Member
since 2003-10-03
Posts 478
b/w conscience and insolence
14 posted 2003-11-01 12:59 PM


cool indeed
passing shadows
Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577
displaced
15 posted 2003-11-01 01:01 PM


very cool write Liz, glad you're back
Wind
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Member Elite
since 2002-10-12
Posts 2981

16 posted 2003-11-01 01:41 PM


thanks everyone, very much.

What about China? Have you seen the Great Wall?
All walls are great, if the roof doesn't fall.
-yorke/bjork

Mistletoe Angel
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since 2000-12-17
Posts 32816
Portland, Oregon
17 posted 2003-11-01 01:41 PM




(sigh) Oh Liz, this is powerful, sweet friend, imagine changing the topography such this way and seeing how much different it could be but how our motives don't change at all! (big hugggssssssss) Love your new picture, sweet friend, we all love you so much! You have such a beautiful heart, sweet Liz, thank you for sharing!



May love and light always shine upon you!

Love,
Noah Eaton

I don't need no proof when it comes to God and truth
I can see the sun set and I perceive

***Live***

Duncan
Member Ascendant
since 2001-08-07
Posts 5455

18 posted 2003-11-01 06:24 PM


Hey kiddo.  Very 1984 feel to this.  (Look it up....lol).  And like your telling here, that came and went and we barely blinked.  Your view of the world is as darkly intriqing as ever Liz.  
Wind
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Member Elite
since 2002-10-12
Posts 2981

19 posted 2003-11-01 06:28 PM


cmon dunc...what happened?

What about China? Have you seen the Great Wall?
All walls are great, if the roof doesn't fall.
-yorke/bjork

Nightshade
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Member Patricius
since 2001-08-31
Posts 13962
just out of reach
20 posted 2003-11-01 06:42 PM


Let’s build a pyramid,
humans on bottom,
rats on top-
city’s within cities within cities-
feeding on fear at the foot of your bed,
ripping the wires that bring light to your head.

Awesome Wind !! hugs, Chris

Duncan
Member Ascendant
since 2001-08-07
Posts 5455

21 posted 2003-11-01 06:59 PM


Paraphrasing...

"Let’s build a pyramid,
humans on bottom,
rats on top-
city’s within cities within cities-
feeding on fear at the foot of your bed,
ripping the wires that bring light to your head.

wake up!
it’s just a dream,
see? we made it up,
the morning alarm returns our sanity.

see the daylight?
nearby,
but just out of reach;
drowning in the sun leaves twice the burn."

...that happened.  You are one hell of a writer kiddo.  

Wind
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Elite
since 2002-10-12
Posts 2981

22 posted 2003-11-01 08:18 PM


hmm...all I can find is that there is a book about the year 1984...

basicaly it says that the government is a conspiracy and the world is divided into three sections.

I must read this book...heh...

What about China? Have you seen the Great Wall?
All walls are great, if the roof doesn't fall.
-yorke/bjork

Duncan
Member Ascendant
since 2001-08-07
Posts 5455

23 posted 2003-11-01 11:39 PM


That's it kiddo!!  You get a red star.  Enjoy the book.  
Justbleu
Member Elite
since 1999-08-31
Posts 3329
Oregon, Originally From Alaska :)
24 posted 2003-11-13 06:30 PM


Ingenious perspective.....Enjoyed this!!!
Bridgette

"Somewhere, somehow, it should be possible to touch someone and never let go again.  To hold someone, not for a moment but forever." Unknown


Kaoru
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since 2003-06-07
Posts 3892
where the wild flowers grow
25 posted 2003-11-14 01:47 PM


wow... woah...and woo...
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