Hardee-Har-Har
By: Noah Eaton
6/30/02

I stopped at the Hardees in Columbia, Missouri
Needed somethin' to hold me off, cuz I was in a hurry
Ordered a Frisco burger with an order of them famous curly fries
Polishin' it in hope to make it to St. Louis by twilight

Paid the waiter, got two dollars in change
Which got me thinkin' how I should spend this money I've made
Or should I forget this ridiculous pandemonium
And save this money toward my future income

Hardee-har-har
I've got two dollars in my pocket
Boy, this is hard
Should I spend this or add this to my deposit?



I can send someone a postcard or contribute to a social commitment
Replace my shoelaces or help fund it to a national historic monument
Hey, maybe I can go down to the Karaoke bar and play the jukebox
Eight times over, or maybe I can just go to the laundromat and clean my socks

Hey hey, maybe I can buy a mood ring
But if it never changed color then that would be cheap
Wait, I can purchase my own yo-yo
But I probably have one buried somewhere in my sofa or Hepplewhite as far as I know

Hardee-har-har
I've got two dollars to spend
Well, I always wondered what it's like
To finally use that coat check



I can buy two things at the 99 cent store but that would be too practical
Who knew decision-makin' can be so enigmatical?
I could lose the lottery and then try again
But you know my opportunity of winnin' ain't ever gonna happen

You may say I can get my shoes shined
Let's face it, twenty seconds later they'll again be dirty with grime
I can receive a session of valet parkin'
But then that would be temporary, besides that’s borin'

Hardee-har-har
There’s two dollars I’m dyin' to use
Decidin' is the hardest part
So this is what it all comes down to



Why I can tip the mail man, for he always does such a wonderful job
Or I can stop by Stuckey’s like it’s still the sixties and enjoy a fresh pecan log
I can leave all the lights on in my house, but that would just be plain selfish
Or I can take up origami and make a goose or an exotic fish

If I have a rough day at college, I can brag to keep my babysitter ten more minutes
This is an enticin' offer no one could resist
I can redial 411 four times just for fun
Or dial Siberia then hang up at the top of my lungs

Hardee-har-har
What do you suggest?
Should I spend these two hard-earned bucks
Or collect?

Wait, if I lose at air hockey, I can plant those two bucks on the table and say,
“Hey, you, yeah I’m talkin' to you, I challenge you to a rematch, c’mon, let’s play!”
Or I can play a nice game of foozball on the level
But my momma won’t let me cuz she thinks foozball is the devil

I can return my videos.............................late
And when I mean late I mean really, really, really late
Ooohhhhh...I can convince a kid that the tooth fairy is very rich
When that spoiled brat goes lookin' under the pillow and has my money in an instant

Hardee-har-har
I’ve got two big ones in my jeans
I can fill up my stapler
Or do my laundry

Aw shucks, I’m givin' up, talk is cheap
I'll just get another medium fry, all this thinkin's got me hungry...[/i]

[This message has been edited by Mistletoe Angel (10-27-2003 09:27 PM).]

[This message has been edited by ethome (10-27-2003 04:04 PM).]