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Magnus

Member Laureate

since 2001-10-10

Posts 14135
South Carolina, USA

0 posted 2003-10-23 08:16 PM

Let me walk the journey lightly
on shoeless feet with but a prayer.
As I talk and sing songs quietly
of a moment we both would share.

Let me have the sun behind me
as my shadow grows long and thin.
And I’ll set a new course nightly
that will guide us from now till then.

May the souls of travels wander
through rugged hills and valleys low.
May the souls of what is yonder
lead the weary through whitest snow.

And when the earth is then parted
to give to them their final rest.
A soul shall join those departed
who gave their all, their very best.

passing shadows
Member Empyrean

since 1999-08-26

Posts 45577
displaced

1 posted 2003-10-23 08:49 PM

awesome rhyme scheme! love this! very uplifting and makes me feel good

Magnus

Member Laureate

since 2001-10-10

Posts 14135
South Carolina, USA

2 posted 2003-10-23 08:50 PM

Dang, Dix. you just made my day...thank you!

LeeJ
Member Patricius

since 2003-06-19

Posts 13296

3 posted 2003-10-24 07:34 AM

And when the earth is then parted
to give to them their final rest.
A soul shall join those departed
who gave their all, their very best.

stunning write, so very peaceful and reassuring...

Seymour Tabin
Member Empyrean

since 1999-07-07

Posts 31720
Tamarac Fla

4 posted 2003-10-24 07:59 AM

Barry,
Your humility is showing again.

Professor Gloom
Member Elite

since 2000-07-23

Posts 3082
of Depression

5 posted 2003-10-24 08:01 AM

Very well done,
enjoyed the read.

Gloom

GG
Member Elite

since 2002-12-03

Posts 3532
Lost in thought

6 posted 2003-10-24 08:29 AM

Dix is right... this just makes ya feel good.
Very very good write!
I should stop here, maybe it'd relax me enough to finally sleep now that its 5:30 AM!

Always, Alyssa

- And so it was that time stood still -
(blink, breathe, stand, fight)

Earth Angel
Member Empyrean

since 2002-08-27

Posts 40215
Realms of Light

7 posted 2003-10-24 08:34 AM

~ and "Walk Lightly" you did forsooth...

May you forever travel Light-ly,
EA

Ericc
Member Elite

since 2003-01-31

Posts 4178

8 posted 2003-10-24 12:08 PM

Great flow of words!

Eric

EvocativeVerse2
Senior Member

since 2003-09-10

Posts 1279

9 posted 2003-10-24 12:18 PM

I love this. Damn fine job. Love the rhyme scheme...love the concept...love the meter. You did a great job sir. I so enjoy structured poetry. It makes the read flow so smoothly. Bravo I say! Wonderful!

Remember, if you're not part of the future, you're history!

Paul Wilson

Member Elite

since 2002-07-07

Posts 4711
United States

10 posted 2003-10-24 06:48 PM

Barry...Enjoyed my friend...Paul

"To share my poems with you is to share my heart with you"

angelblueyes
Member Elite

since 2003-07-19

Posts 2148
Oklahoma

11 posted 2003-10-24 06:53 PM

This is great.Relaxes every fiber in my being.

Crystal

Darren
Junior Member

since 2003-09-30

Posts 30

12 posted 2003-10-24 08:06 PM

Loved it! You walk lightly but carry a big pen.

Martie

Moderator

Member Empyrean

since 1999-09-21

Posts 28049
California

13 posted 2003-10-24 08:20 PM

Barry...You got rhythm, you got soul!!

Patricia
Member Elite

since 2003-04-06

Posts 2160
Missouri

14 posted 2003-10-24 08:42 PM

And they wonder why I love rhyme...they need not question me, better they lay their eyes upon your work. Most assuredly, they will never question my taste again.

Superb in every way.

Patricia

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