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pandonov
Member

since 2003-10-03

Posts 478
b/w conscience and insolence

0 posted 2003-10-22 01:46 AM

Silent rhythm felt by fingertips
then lost again to imagination
silently
Manuscript of  poignant mind-
sheared from the past
added to the future

Swerve!

Swerving is a dream
in motionless reality

Empty bottle
Holds the key to fancy temporariness
Laughable   Effective   Eternal…

Broken glass
Broken once  Broken twice…
Repetitive measurelessness
is the bottom of the abyss
and the deep blue sea
has purple core

this one is very, very old and i don't know why i'm posting it. it's so weird even to me. sry

[This message has been edited by pandonov (10-22-2003 01:47 AM).]

Alwye

Moderator

Member Elite

since 1999-06-16

Posts 3850
In the space between moments

1 posted 2003-10-22 04:38 PM

hm, I liked a lot of the word choices in this...I do think it could be clearer though. Maybe you posted to rework it a bit? *smiles* It looks like there's some good, raw stuff in here...just a bit confusing to me. I'd be very interested in an updated version.

~*Krista Lee Knutson*~

We are, each of us angels with only one wing; and we can only fly by embracing one another.
--Luciano De Crescenzo

Marge Tindal

Member Empyrean

since 1999-11-06

Posts 42384
Florida's Foreverly Shores

2 posted 2003-10-22 07:06 PM

Petre~

If for no other reason -

'Swerving is a dream
in motionless reality'

- this is reason enough for me~
*Huglets*
~*Marge*~

~*When the heart grieves over what it has lost,
the spirit rejoices over what it has left.
- Sufi epigram
noles1@totcon.com

Aenimal
Member Rara Avis

since 2002-11-18

Posts 7350
the ass-end of space

3 posted 2003-10-22 11:08 PM

raw and powerful not weird at all, i've seen a few empty bottles also

Mistletoe Angel

Member Empyrean

since 2000-12-17

Posts 32816
Portland, Oregon

4 posted 2003-10-23 12:17 PM

(sigh) Oh Petre, this is powerful, sweet friend, this is absolutely beauty to me, as strange as it is, it makes it even more precious poetry! (big hugggsssssss) God Bless You, sweet friend, we all love you so much! You have such a beautiful heart, sweet Petre, thank you for sharing!

May love and light always shine upon you!

Love,
Noah Eaton

I don't need no proof when it comes to God and truth
I can see the sun set and I perceive

***Live***

passing shadows
Member Empyrean

since 1999-08-26

Posts 45577
displaced

5 posted 2003-10-23 04:56 AM

it's not really weird to me, I liked it

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