navwin » Archives » Open Poetry #29 » On Writing Of Stone
Open Poetry #29
Post A Reply Post New Topic On Writing Of Stone Go to Previous / Newer Topic Back to Topic List Go to Next / Older Topic
Cpat Hair
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Patricius
since 2001-06-05
Posts 11793


0 posted 2003-10-20 09:49 AM



Fumble
Fingers finding keys to strike
As words begin to tumble
And the ache of hands too long with stone remains
Impeding what would be said

But you know they are just words
That cascade in some ragged rumbling
Jagged bite of edge alive

Or somewhere
     Inside the parts that died

And would be told
As once upon a time
                                      If fairy tales could be
And I
              An d I
Still mumble the jointed lay of them
That staggers one across the place
Where two meet

For strength is nothing
            But endurance of the clime
Time will wear it all to sand
When in the end
                    Its just a clever rhyme
Of sediment and lime

This pain remains
       As with each passing hour
Another shadow forms
            Against the offset face

Still the leaves fall
        And there is grace
In agonized
                     Refrain of walls
Built one weighted layer
At a time
By fingers searching for the way
To say inside what it is
                     You would love to say
But it always seems the ache
      Gets in the way

© Copyright 2003 Cpat Hair - All Rights Reserved
Lady In White
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Elite
since 2001-02-12
Posts 2799
USA
1 posted 2003-10-20 09:52 AM


Still the leaves fall
        And there is grace
In agonized
                     Refrain of walls
Built one weighted layer
At a time
By fingers searching for the way
To say inside what it is
                     You would love to say
But it always seems the ache
      Gets in the way


~*~

Good morning, Cap'n.  Seems you had a
"weekend" of thinking.

Glad you're sharing it with us.

Aenimal
Member Rara Avis
since 2002-11-18
Posts 7350
the ass-end of space
2 posted 2003-10-20 09:56 AM


To say inside what it is
                     You would love to say
But it always seems the ache
      Gets in the way

Seymour Tabin
Member Empyrean
since 1999-07-07
Posts 31720
Tamarac Fla
3 posted 2003-10-20 10:10 AM


Cpat,
Good one, enjoyed the rad.

vandana
Deputy Moderator 5 Tours
Member Patricius
since 1999-10-22
Posts 10463
USA
4 posted 2003-10-20 10:10 AM


one of your best enjoyed
Janet Marie
Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554

5 posted 2003-10-20 10:16 AM


And the ache of hands too long with stone remains
Impeding what would be said
==================================

To say inside what it is
                     You would love to say
But it always seems the ache
      Gets in the way

=================================

*smiling and shaking me mothy head*

suddenly I feel naked.

So that was you peeking in my muse.

( Im taking this one for my own)


"I've still got sand in my shoes
and I can't shake the thought of you ...
I wanna see you again."

Dido

Greeneyes
Deputy Moderator 50 ToursDeputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-09-09
Posts 9903
In Your Poetic Mind
6 posted 2003-10-20 10:44 AM


I cant tell you how simply amazing this piece is, you have taken parts of nature, and worked them into beautiful symbols some of sadness, and others of hope....BRAVO



Lauren~

Will the wind ever remember
the names it has blown in the past
with its crutch, its old age, and its
wisdom it whispers no this won't be the last

garysgirl
Deputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 5 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Laureate
since 2002-09-29
Posts 19237
Florida, USA
7 posted 2003-10-20 10:48 AM


Still the leaves fall
        And there is grace
In agonized
                     Refrain of walls
Built one weighted layer
At a time
By fingers searching for the way
To say inside what it is
                     You would love to say
But it always seems the ache
      Gets in the way



Absolutely beautiful, Capt. Ron, in a sad
sort of way. You are an amazing writer, my friend.  
Hugs  
ethel

Susan Caldwell
Member Rara Avis
since 2002-12-27
Posts 8348
Florida
8 posted 2003-10-20 10:56 AM


"For strength is nothing
            But endurance of the clime
Time will wear it all to sand
When in the end
                    Its just a clever rhyme
Of sediment and lime"

Sometimes I just don't know where it comes from...
True brilliance.


"if you won't let me fall for you
then you won't see the best that I would love to do for you"
~Dido~

Enchantress
Member Empyrean
since 2001-08-14
Posts 35113
Canada eh.
9 posted 2003-10-20 11:16 AM


There you go...
making me want to spend time
inside your head again!
Wonderful write Captain...
Much enjoyed.
Hugs~

~Autumn, the year's last, loveliest smile~

Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049
California
10 posted 2003-10-20 11:55 AM


Ron

"Still the leaves fall
        And there is grace
In agonized
                     Refrain of walls
Built one weighted layer
At a time
By fingers searching for the way
To say inside what it is
                     You would love to say
But it always seems the ache
      Gets in the way"

Deep with meaning, dear friend....touching a place in me that understands.  

angelblueyes
Member Elite
since 2003-07-19
Posts 2148
Oklahoma
11 posted 2003-10-20 12:09 PM


The symbols you use, the depth, and the emotion bring this to a masterpiece.
Crystal

suthern
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Seraphic
since 1999-07-29
Posts 20723
Louisiana
12 posted 2003-10-20 12:25 PM


Still the leaves fall
        And there is grace
In agonized
                     Refrain of walls
Built one weighted layer
At a time
By fingers searching for the way
To say inside what it is
                     You would love to say
But it always seems the ache
      Gets in the way

It does indeed... but didn't here... this expresses so much... and does so superbly. *S*

passing shadows
Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577
displaced
13 posted 2003-10-20 12:59 PM


this is what i call a "mood poem"

thanks for the mood

SharaRose
Member Elite
since 2003-07-19
Posts 2501
Somewhere out there~
14 posted 2003-10-20 01:05 PM


Combative in a very quiet, gentle sort of way. Wow, how do you do that???? Like I said before, Otherworldy. WOW!
Love,
Terri~

Post A Reply Post New Topic ⇧ top of page ⇧ Go to Previous / Newer Topic Back to Topic List Go to Next / Older Topic
All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format.
navwin » Archives » Open Poetry #29 » On Writing Of Stone

Passions in Poetry | pipTalk Home Page | Main Poetry Forums | 100 Best Poems

How to Join | Member's Area / Help | Private Library | Search | Contact Us | Login
Discussion | Tech Talk | Archives | Sanctuary