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nakdthoughts
Member Laureate
since 2000-10-29
Posts 19200
Between the Lines

0 posted 2003-10-18 10:01 PM



Today, I thought, as I listened to the music,
that "it isn't easy to be me"
and I wondered why it is so hard
to be understood, when all I need
is in front of me,
but I've yet to hear him sing.
I even wear my velvet best,
but there are no eyes to see,
no time to collect the warmth I offer
and no moments spent with me.

I take my walks along the tracks,
where I often bike, needing fresh air,
my thoughts so muddled
with the pain of living.

Passing the railroad bed,
I bend to pick up stones
that seem heart-shaped.
Oh, these eyes of mine
try so hard to see more than is there.
"Smiles" in my time of aloneness.
Shapes to collect
and form a world all my own.
I have been saving them
to paint their edges with meaning.
My gift to you.

I found my gray jacket today,
And there...in the pockets,
the stones remain.

It isn't easy being me...
silence filling my life,
aloneness the source of my touch.
No, it isn't easy anymore.

M


"Love is not blind - It sees more and not less, but because it sees more, it is willing to see less."
(Will Moss)

[This message has been edited by nakdthoughts (10-18-2003 10:03 PM).]

© Copyright 2003 Wynter Bliss - All Rights Reserved
Susan Caldwell
Member Rara Avis
since 2002-12-27
Posts 8348
Florida
1 posted 2003-10-18 10:05 PM


M~

No I don't imagine it is...and all I can offer is hugs and understanding..

I know someone else that likes to pick up rocks...

"if you won't let me fall for you
then you won't see the best that I would love to do for you"
~Dido~

Magnus
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Laureate
since 2001-10-10
Posts 14135
South Carolina, USA
2 posted 2003-10-18 10:10 PM


M.  I know we all go through these moments in
our lives.  Too often for many,  painful as
well.  I think we all need to take moments
to self reflect and maybe even look out into
the world...seeing those around us who are
far less fortunate than we are...  I have
to at times,  and in the end...I think I
come away feeling more complete...

I hope you can too.

SharaRose
Member Elite
since 2003-07-19
Posts 2501
Somewhere out there~
3 posted 2003-10-18 10:29 PM


:'(
Love,
Terri~

nakdthoughts
Member Laureate
since 2000-10-29
Posts 19200
Between the Lines
4 posted 2003-10-19 07:44 AM


thank you...Susan and Terri

Barry, I am reflecting on those less fortunate and always have been there to help them...although it is hard considering
my sister is dieing in front of my eyes...
But I am grateful for many things and I still have a semblance of health of my own...so far

I hope to write something more cheerful...
it comes and goes and just is...


M

Magnus
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Laureate
since 2001-10-10
Posts 14135
South Carolina, USA
5 posted 2003-10-19 01:31 PM


Sending a hug!!!  and prayers for your
friend...as well as yourself...

angelblueyes
Member Elite
since 2003-07-19
Posts 2148
Oklahoma
6 posted 2003-10-19 01:34 PM


You know thisisn't an easy thing to face.You have strength and much support and I know you'll make it through.I hope that you soon can find something that brings you great joy to fill your void.
Crystal

Marge Tindal
Deputy Moderator 5 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-06
Posts 42384
Florida's Foreverly Shores
7 posted 2003-10-19 08:56 PM


WynterGal~
I love you~

'Shapes to collect
and form a world all my own.
I have been saving them
to paint their edges with meaning.'


This is just a small part of a beautiful piece of fine penning~
*Huglets*
~*Marge*~

~*When the heart grieves over what it has lost,
the spirit rejoices over what it has left.
- Sufi epigram
   noles1@totcon.com     

inkedgoddess
Member Rara Avis
since 2002-11-19
Posts 7392
Ohio
8 posted 2003-10-19 09:06 PM


It isn't easy being me...
silence filling my life,
aloneness the source of my touch.
No, it isn't easy anymore.

Yes i know friend,
It aint easy being me either babe, but i do amuse myself however, and never get bored of the
insanity lately. sometimes you just gotta enjoy the drama afterall, if all else fails

mytuesdaywishes
Member
since 2003-09-05
Posts 254
a voice from the musicbox
9 posted 2003-10-19 10:24 PM


"Oh, these eyes of mine
try so hard to see more than is there."

i know how you feel-
what a simple thought...to mean so much, wonderful as usual

i think that it's brainless to assume that making changes to your window's view will gain a new perspective.

Kaz
Junior Member
since 2003-10-12
Posts 26

10 posted 2003-10-19 11:39 PM


Not being understood does bring on a horrible feeling of loneliness. I'm sorry to hear about your sister. I've watched loved ones die in front of my eyes too, and it's such a hard thing to endure.

hugs,
Kaz

garysgirl
Deputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 5 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Laureate
since 2002-09-29
Posts 19237
Florida, USA
11 posted 2003-10-19 11:50 PM


Oh, these eyes of mine
try so hard to see more than is there.
"Smiles" in my time of aloneness.


Maureen, I know this feeling.
But, I don't know the feeling of seeing a sister, or a brother dying in front of my eyes. I can only imagine the pain it brings. My prayers and thoughts are with you both, sweet friend.
With love and hugs,
Ethel

nakdthoughts
Member Laureate
since 2000-10-29
Posts 19200
Between the Lines
12 posted 2003-10-20 08:40 AM


Barry, thank you again.  I enjoy the hugs *s. Yesterday I played a little and at least for that time my thoughts were put to rest. Although I will pay for that with leg cramps whenever I stretch for a day or so(a sign of age) and from standing on cold ground for 12 hours. But taking me back to a time of Renaissance brings a bit of serenity.


Crystal, great joy is something I once had and let slip away. Contentment will suit me enough. Thank you

M


Hi Marge, you are always there to pick me up, something I will never ever forget.
What are friends for...love you too~

M


Michele, I can tell you amuse yourself, makes me smile~  It is in your eyes...
Yes that drama, seems to be all I have right now. Thanks



mytuesdaywishes, thank you for the visit and words of comfort. *s


Kaz, You have me pegged, even as a new friend...on here. Not being understood is  one of the worst feelings in the world...makes me want to often give up trying.
Thank you for your thoughtful words.
hugs
Maureen
  
Ethel, more despair than pain, since there is nothing I can do to help.
Thank you for your wonderful heart
hugs
M
  




passing shadows
Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577
displaced
13 posted 2003-10-20 12:32 PM


M, I wish I could walk with you
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