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Open Poetry #29
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Aenimal
Member Rara Avis
since 2002-11-18
Posts 7350
the ass-end of space

0 posted 2003-10-18 03:01 PM


underneath a dying sky
grey fades the line between
reflection and pine
upon the grass
the leaves lay dead
as soldiers on a battlefield
one for each day lost to this,
the war of self-redemption


© Copyright 2003 raphael giuffrida - All Rights Reserved
Enchantress
Member Empyrean
since 2001-08-14
Posts 35113
Canada eh.
1 posted 2003-10-18 03:06 PM


Excellent Raph!
It does look like a battlefield with all those dying and dead leaves.
~Warm autumnal smiles, Nancy~

~Autumn, the year's last, loveliest smile~

James_A_Fraser
Senior Member
since 2003-09-03
Posts 972
Out Making Anticlines
2 posted 2003-10-18 04:37 PM


And one for each day won, I hope!

I like the feel of this one, the inner landscape it shows. Nicely done!



~~J

Wind
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Elite
since 2002-10-12
Posts 2981

3 posted 2003-10-18 04:39 PM


just letting you know that I read it

i lava it but I'm gonna....whats that word???

::poof::

(shh...don't tell the others)

What about China? Have you seen the Great Wall?
All walls are great, if the roof doesn't fall.
-yorke/bjork

gemjop
Member Elite
since 2002-11-18
Posts 2587
Pencilveinia, USA
4 posted 2003-10-18 07:11 PM


You make it all sound so beautiful, even when it's not.

hugs you. hope youre well.

~I wanna live, I wanna give, I've been a miner for a heart of gold~  Neil Young

pandonov
Member
since 2003-10-03
Posts 478
b/w conscience and insolence
5 posted 2003-10-19 01:54 AM


self-redemption you say, count one more body there.
littlewing
Member Rara Avis
since 2003-03-02
Posts 9655
New York
6 posted 2003-10-20 10:00 AM


and as each leave turns
face shining to the bleak October sky
worn and wrinkled
a single ray shines
upon leaf with green
last breath of life
gasping
for
a
change
of
season

Beautiful Raph
I adore this
Good for you
*smile*
xxoo

[This message has been edited by littlewing (10-20-2003 10:01 AM).]

Seymour Tabin
Member Empyrean
since 1999-07-07
Posts 31720
Tamarac Fla
7 posted 2003-10-20 10:06 AM


Aenimal
Well done, enjoyed.

Aenimal
Member Rara Avis
since 2002-11-18
Posts 7350
the ass-end of space
8 posted 2003-10-20 10:07 AM


danke shein
vandana
Deputy Moderator 5 Tours
Member Patricius
since 1999-10-22
Posts 10463
USA
9 posted 2003-10-20 10:12 AM


enjoyed
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