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nakdthoughts
Member Laureate

since 2000-10-29

Posts 19200
Between the Lines

0 posted 2003-10-17 09:05 AM

Death is a waiting game
with only rain left to waken the senses.
Treatments whittling away the "only" that is left
and though the healthy one,
feeling that pain that causes me to sigh deeply
and teeth to chatter even when
there is no other chill to feel.

~~*~~

My words are of emptiness nearing loss
yet the love is there between the lines
and it oozes out more and more as the time nears
and we shed tears, each so disappointed in life.

And I worry about the little things that keep the "much" from me
not having enough money to keep the traveling going,
gas expenses so varied, I just pass the stations by wondering
what more to add to my misery.

Such a strong front we both put up, but I have this outlet,
words to release while she has only me to complain to
and to hold onto, being the only one who allows it
so she can stress less about those
who are only looking at her outside
and are as frightened but don't know how
to handle their fears.

~~*~~

Third stage she said, as if I asked "how's the weather."
Wanting to tell someone how and why and all she holds inside.
I listen, until the anger builds and then we both let loose,
and watch as the rain continues to dampen our lives.

~~*~~

M

"Love is not blind - It sees more and not less, but because it sees more, it is willing to see less."
(Will Moss)

Cpat Hair

Member Patricius

since 2001-06-05

Posts 11793

1 posted 2003-10-17 09:11 AM

hugs my friend...

wonderful telling... and the hugs for what lies in the words and behind them..

nakdthoughts
Member Laureate

since 2000-10-29

Posts 19200
Between the Lines

2 posted 2003-10-17 09:23 AM

Thanks Ron...

It's awful to be feeling so sorry for myself and her...so I am feeling selfish today...again.

Wanting some...actually, I don't know what it is I want anymore.

hugss back

M

angelblueyes
Member Elite

since 2003-07-19

Posts 2148
Oklahoma

3 posted 2003-10-17 12:21 PM

You know it's so hard when going through this.Sometimes you want to be strong, sometimes you want to fall to pieces, and sometimes you wish you could just have nothing.This reminded me of when my stepfather was dying of brain tumors.

But know this:

When you're down and feeling blue
And it seems theres nothing you can do
Just take a deep breath and close your eyes
And feel my spirit right by your side
Taking your pain into my heart
Allowing the crashing waves to impart
To hold your hand or listen with an ear
To help ease all the agonies and fears
Together we shall face this ahead
And together we face the worry and dread
Singing a sweet lullaby
To take away the tears and the cries
I know I don't know you that well
For you I'd walk through the fires of hell
If just to help your heart in one chance
To know it's not alone in this dance
For you are a woman so tender and sweet
A greater soul noone shall ever meet
So if ever you need a thing just yell
And I'll be there in an instance for you to tell

Crystal

nakdthoughts
Member Laureate

since 2000-10-29

Posts 19200
Between the Lines

4 posted 2003-10-17 03:17 PM

Thank you Crystal...I appreciate your words

M

EvocativeVerse2
Senior Member

since 2003-09-10

Posts 1279

5 posted 2003-10-18 01:28 AM

***Sigh*** So much heartache! Wish I could make you feel better. ***HUG***

Remember, if you're not part of the future, you're history!

passing shadows
Member Empyrean

since 1999-08-26

Posts 45577
displaced

6 posted 2003-10-18 04:19 AM

how deeply you touch me M

nakdthoughts
Member Laureate

since 2000-10-29

Posts 19200
Between the Lines

7 posted 2003-10-18 04:25 AM

EV2 thank you for your kind words and Hugs

Dixie, Hi..good morning...I couldn't sleep
(one of those headaches) so I am emptying out some thoughts.

Thank you for always seeing through my words.

M

Susan Caldwell
Member Rara Avis

since 2002-12-27

Posts 8348
Florida

8 posted 2003-10-18 06:38 AM

M~

I understand your anger, your feeling of helplessness...but I think you are doing wonderfully! And she will be forever grateful that you let her get it out and be honest about her feelings with you.

I want you to be my sister!!!

Susan

nakdthoughts
Member Laureate

since 2000-10-29

Posts 19200
Between the Lines

9 posted 2003-10-18 07:49 AM

Susan you made me smile...and that is an accomplishment on this early morning.
We have a family dinner out this evening, while my mother and one brother are in town...
my sister's wish. So I hope it goes well, since one thing she does not do well is eat.

~sighing~ anytime you need a sister, I am here

M

Patricia
Member Elite

since 2003-04-06

Posts 2160
Missouri

10 posted 2003-10-18 08:07 AM

Well, it seems you expressed perfectly my feelings of late. I just don't have the time to write anymore. You made me want to make the time to let the emotions go.

A great write.

Patricia

nakdthoughts
Member Laureate

since 2000-10-29

Posts 19200
Between the Lines

11 posted 2003-10-18 08:25 AM

Thank you Patricia for stopping by.

A hug if you need one

M

SharaRose
Member Elite

since 2003-07-19

Posts 2501
Somewhere out there~

12 posted 2003-10-18 11:39 AM

choked up...here's a hug

Love,
Terri~

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