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Open Poetry #29
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wranx
Member Elite
since 2002-06-07
Posts 3689
Moved from a shack to a barn

0 posted 2003-10-15 11:24 AM





Today

Like most days

Lately

Finds me struggling

To piece together
a coherent thought
using the shards
of previous attempts

Trying to fashion

The shells and pebbles
from shores, barely visited
and broken crystal
from toasts, long forgotten

Into some semblance
of self-portrait

But this
like all mosaics

Is a thing best seen

From


Afar



© Copyright 2003 E.F.Rose - All Rights Reserved
Cpat Hair
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Patricius
since 2001-06-05
Posts 11793

1 posted 2003-10-15 11:28 AM


Ed... tend to enjoy your words..but not agree with your conclusion.. the picture..in its entire form may bes tbe seen from a distance IF the only thing one looks for is the overall image... to see how it is formed and what formed it..the bit of color the texture, the shadows..one has to get very close..and peer with not only the immediate view in mind..but what we saw from a distance.

I think you are perhaps a bit hard on the image you think you see...

wranx
Member Elite
since 2002-06-07
Posts 3689
Moved from a shack to a barn
2 posted 2003-10-15 11:35 AM


Ack! Ron dude, this is just something that comes over me from time to time...Lol   You could say, another of those "passing" things.
Thanks for calling me on my own BS.

Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354
Listening to every heart
3 posted 2003-10-15 11:37 AM



Don't we sometimes need to step back, to see if what we are isn't all together, after all?  You are both right...in my own, quite humble, and uniquely individual, opinion.  

Cpat Hair
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Patricius
since 2001-06-05
Posts 11793

4 posted 2003-10-15 12:11 PM


(chuckling) Sunshine..you stay out of this..lol...

Ed... you know I love ya man...



littlewing
Member Rara Avis
since 2003-03-02
Posts 9655
New York
5 posted 2003-10-15 12:30 PM


you guys crack me up . . .

Ed?  what Ron said is perfect sense yes
and you are wayy too tough on yourself
but?  you wouldnt be you if you werent
you know?

I stand back and with a keen eye
continue to walk closer . . .
the closer I get
the clearer the image


*smile*
I adore your writing
makes me look at myself
(stop doing that!)
*laughing*

Baby? the finished piece is just as it should be . . .
xxoo

Enchantress
Member Empyrean
since 2001-08-14
Posts 35113
Canada eh.
6 posted 2003-10-15 12:34 PM


Excellent...much enjoyed the read.
Hugs~

~Autumn, the year's last, loveliest smile~

Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049
California
7 posted 2003-10-15 01:31 PM


Ed...this one made me think of all the small pieces of us...that need to be appreciated...was just looking at my hand...and thinking that...and the thoughts, sometimes they are so big, that a small one is somehow all that we can take-in at one time.  Hugs!  
Seymour Tabin
Member Empyrean
since 1999-07-07
Posts 31720
Tamarac Fla
8 posted 2003-10-15 01:41 PM


Ed,
Your contemplation a sensation, enjoyed.

Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354
Listening to every heart
9 posted 2003-10-15 03:05 PM



Pout.

Corinne
Member Ascendant
since 1999-10-28
Posts 5167
state of confusion
10 posted 2003-10-15 08:19 PM


Superb! Your writing continues to amaze me!
Never stop!


Corinne

Ratleader
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Rara Avis
since 2003-01-23
Posts 7026
Visiting Earth on a Guest Pass
11 posted 2003-10-15 11:01 PM


You have a keen, keen eye, Ed!

Ed

~~(¸¸¸¸ºº>   ~~(¸¸¸¸ºº>  ~~(¸¸ ¸¸ºº>    ~~~(¸¸ER¸¸ºº>
______________Ratleader______________

Kaz
Junior Member
since 2003-10-12
Posts 26

12 posted 2003-10-15 11:28 PM


I like your style of writing. I think most of us view each other from afar, but I think we all should take a step closer to also view the detail. There's too much to miss from afar.

Kaz

Tiersdin
Member Elite
since 2000-11-17
Posts 2364
east coast
13 posted 2003-10-17 12:40 PM


"Old style Wranx" indeed!


You know I love this.


~Tier

angelblueyes
Member Elite
since 2003-07-19
Posts 2148
Oklahoma
14 posted 2003-10-17 12:42 PM


Sometimes the smallest things need notice.
Crystal

suthern
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Seraphic
since 1999-07-29
Posts 20723
Louisiana
15 posted 2003-10-17 05:15 PM


To piece together
a coherent thought
using the shards
of previous attempts

I like the entire poem... think the views from both close and afar have their merits. *S* But these lines particularly appealed... maybe because I see me there. *S* Excellent!

SimplyGold
Senior Member
since 2002-07-10
Posts 1453

16 posted 2003-10-17 06:16 PM


Wranx,

I enjoyed your poem. We all have moments of being to close and standing back can provide among other things, relief, better perspective, and the ability to even catch one's own BS (though I do not buy that.. )

Like your style..

SG

[This message has been edited by SimplyGold (10-17-2003 06:20 PM).]

vlraynes
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-07-25
Posts 8229
Somewhere... out there...
17 posted 2003-10-19 04:40 AM



Ed?...agreeing with Sue here...
much too hard on yourself, my friend...

And this?...yes...made me think...
and take a look at ME...scary stuff...grin

Hugs, you...

When the power of love overcomes the
love of power the world will know peace.
-Jimi Hendrix

passing shadows
Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577
displaced
18 posted 2003-10-19 04:48 AM


yes indeed
PouringJewels
Member
since 2003-09-18
Posts 158
Maryland
19 posted 2003-10-19 10:06 AM


Ed, I can't tell you how many times I have watched you from afar. You always seemed to have it in control. Maybe that was what you wanted to express. By the way I got some old writings out of the closet like you asked me to do. I posted one on 10/19/03.
Honeybee
Member Ascendant
since 1999-12-26
Posts 5372
Ontario, CANADA
20 posted 2003-10-19 02:38 PM


As always Ed your writing is brilliant and relatable.  Of course I see much pain here and yet also a bit of hope, then again, maybe since I relate so much, I only force myself to see hope.  Nonetheless, I wish I could write like you.  You (and Raph) write 'dark' with such eloquence and strength.  

I'm saving this~

Melissa~

Intellectually I know that Canada is no better than any other country. Emotionally I KNOW that Canada is the best country in the world!

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