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Cpat Hair

Member Patricius

since 2001-06-05

Posts 11793

0 posted 2003-10-15 09:46 AM

She weeps
And fog settles into low places
Waiting for the sun to dry her tears
………………………………………..

The south face is of shelved stone
Layered long in eons past by deaths
Millions of deaths as the shallow sea retreated
And in time the land rose,
Then eroded as it is today
And revealed the lines
Of now stone

To walk it is to invite
The twist of ankle
And bruise of shin
For the lives that are gone
Seem intent on tripping up those
Who would pass their way

But,
I have been there
And climbed its steep treachery
To enable myself the view down
Into the stream below
And watch the fog lay thick
On early mornings
As it awaits the burn
Of an early spring sun that is still
Green in its path

The bruises always healed
And I often wondered at the way they did
When it seemed the lives that were before me
Struggled to make them deep and blue

……………………………………….

Her tears are hidden now
In crevices she cracked on her skin
Then tucked just to tuck them in
But the freeze split parts of her
As the expansion sheered layers
That now lay at her feet

So much rubble to contend with
When the fog hides her fears
That
No one
Remembers

Susan Caldwell
Member Rara Avis

since 2002-12-27

Posts 8348
Florida

1 posted 2003-10-15 09:51 AM

"Her tears are hidden now
In crevices she cracked on her skin
Then tucked just to tuck them in
But the freeze split parts of her
As the expansion sheered layers
That now lay at her feet

So much rubble to contend with
When the fog hides her fears
That
No one
Remembers"

Love it! You are making the most of the fog...

Susan

Sunshine

Administrator

Member Empyrean

since 1999-06-25

Posts 63354
Listening to every heart

2 posted 2003-10-15 09:52 AM

This needed a hanky alert,
and I needed this.

Seymour Tabin
Member Empyrean

since 1999-07-07

Posts 31720
Tamarac Fla

3 posted 2003-10-15 10:00 AM

Cpat,
And it will never stop. Enjoyed

vandana

Member Patricius

since 1999-10-22

Posts 10463
USA

4 posted 2003-10-15 10:00 AM

enjoyed

Greeneyes

Member Rara Avis

since 2000-09-09

Posts 9903
In Your Poetic Mind

5 posted 2003-10-15 10:09 AM

But,
I have been there
And climbed its steep treachery
To enable myself the view down
Into the stream below
And watch the fog lay thick
On early mornings
As it awaits the burn
Of an early spring sun that is still
Green in its path''

What a view to pull the reader and place them right in the middle of this poem....this aches......knowing t he feeling of this all too well....tugs the heart...
Bravo!!

hugssss

Lauren~

Will the wind ever remember
the names it has blown in the past
with its crutch, its old age, and its
wisdom it whispers no this won't be the last

jellybeans
Member Elite

since 2000-10-13

Posts 2298

6 posted 2003-10-15 10:13 AM

that view above the fog? it sounds like a journey that would be easier if it were made with another, hand in hand...sigh...though some journeys, by their very nature, must be traveled alone...many many emotions in this...incredible writing as always my friend...I am in awe *soft smile*

Enchantress
Member Empyrean

since 2001-08-14

Posts 35113
Canada eh.

7 posted 2003-10-15 11:12 AM

Soft..melancholy..aches...
Amazing the feelings you draw out of me as always Captain.
Hugs~

~Autumn, the year's last, loveliest smile~

EvocativeVerse2
Senior Member

since 2003-09-10

Posts 1279

8 posted 2003-10-15 11:27 AM

Cpat this is so well done I am jealous. (Wink!) Thank you for the great poem.

Remember, if you're not part of the future, you're history!

icebox
Member Elite

since 2003-05-03

Posts 4383
in the shadows

9 posted 2003-10-15 11:45 AM

Great use of metaphor and imagery.

"The south face is of shelved stone
Layered long in eons past by deaths
Millions of deaths as the shallow sea retreated
And in time the land rose,"

I sat one time on a high desert mountain slope at the limit of my low oxygen tolerance (somewhere over 16,000 feet) and stared at the rocks to retain focus. I began to notice fossils of mussel shells and palm fronds. The image stayed with me for a long time; each life built on the rubble of the past, mostly unknown or forgotten past.

Thanks for connecting that again for me.

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