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Open Poetry #29
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serenity blaze
Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738


0 posted 2003-10-15 04:26 AM


little ghosts
and tiny feet
wrinkled in the bath

Hitler
is a mighty queen
hands on hips
she's Italy
swanking at age six
I see
scrubbing
her tenacity
blowing bangs
in exhaled sigh
pounding wrath
upon the gleam
bubbles
bursted
by a child...

folding fingers
one by one
(is this the way?)
that finger hums
a soldier's dirge salute--
tell me where do lingers stray
tell me tales of absolute
signs of fish fast drawn in sand--
quickly it is swept away
remembered with a nod--astute--
scribe within a veil.

Wells
in pool
circle-eyes
dwells
in olives
hypnotized
little girl
and mommy's dead--
daddy's just a dream she dreamt--
and fairy tales are fancy lies...

little ghosts
and tiny feet--
she kissed them
just like momma did
and told each toe that they'd been bad...

blowing bangs

too short for this.

[This message has been edited by serenity blaze (10-15-2003 04:35 AM).]

© Copyright 2003 serenity blaze - All Rights Reserved
wranx
Member Elite
since 2002-06-07
Posts 3689
Moved from a shack to a barn
1 posted 2003-10-15 06:01 AM


"little ghosts
and tiny feet--
she kissed them
just like momma did
and told each toe that they'd been bad...

blowing bangs

too short for this."


Something like this could kill a yeti!

Lubs ya witch!

Gentle Spirit
Member Patricius
since 2000-10-09
Posts 13989

2 posted 2003-10-15 08:06 AM


serenity, moving writing....very moving.
well done gal!

Cpat Hair
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Patricius
since 2001-06-05
Posts 11793

3 posted 2003-10-15 08:12 AM


folding fingers
one by one
(is this the way?)
that finger hums
a soldier's dirge salute--
tell me where do lingers stray
tell me tales of absolute
signs of fish fast drawn in sand--
quickly it is swept away
remembered with a nod--astute--
scribe within a veil.

you always move me witch...



icebox
Member Elite
since 2003-05-03
Posts 4383
in the shadows
4 posted 2003-10-15 10:52 AM


This one shook me a bit dear.  Very strong imagery, well written.
EvocativeVerse2
Senior Member
since 2003-09-10
Posts 1279

5 posted 2003-10-15 11:46 AM


Serenity this is going to haunt my thoughts for the rest of the day. I suppose it achieved its purpose. What powerful imagery to have penned. Well done indeed.

Remember, if you're not part of the future, you're history!

Janet Marie
Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554

6 posted 2003-10-15 12:39 PM


folding fingers
one by one
(is this the way?)
that finger hums
a soldier's dirge salute--
tell me where do lingers stray
tell me tales of absolute
signs of fish fast drawn in sand--
quickly it is swept away
remembered with a nod--astute--
scribe within a veil.

=================================

the word play, internal rhymes and assonance of that verse make me smile at you...
poetry just comes out of you.
and add an alliterated title and Im moth giddy. lol
bout time you posted something.
yayaya
dont say it... lol   ( muse? whats that) heh

every time I talk to you its over too soon
every day feels incomplete till you walk into the room
just say the words, I'll jump that moon.

D.Gray

Enchantress
Member Empyrean
since 2001-08-14
Posts 35113
Canada eh.
7 posted 2003-10-15 01:42 PM


Powerful thoughts here Ser.
God I love where your muse takes you.
Love ya lady!
Hugs~

~Autumn, the year's last, loveliest smile~

littlewing
Member Rara Avis
since 2003-03-02
Posts 9655
New York
8 posted 2003-10-15 03:06 PM


Karen?

somehow I see the eyes that belong beneath those bangs Lady . . .

xxoo

Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049
California
9 posted 2003-10-15 05:33 PM


serenity....You just touch so easily...with a half turn from the corner of an eye.  Hugs!
Sadelite
Member Elite
since 2003-10-11
Posts 2519

10 posted 2003-10-15 05:43 PM


great!  "swanking at the age of six"--i know what you mean...
                  Sadelite

vlraynes
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-07-25
Posts 8229
Somewhere... out there...
11 posted 2003-10-19 04:08 AM



Karen?...I don't even have the words...

Feeling this one...

Hugs, you...

When the power of love overcomes the
love of power the world will know peace.
-Jimi Hendrix

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