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Open Poetry #29
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KristieSue
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0 posted 2003-10-14 06:03 PM



I no longer care
if I live or die
who thinks what
or how they feel
I could care less
if they all disappear
or if I do instead
into the blue beyond

I'm tired of the pain
tired of the tears
tired of hearts breaking
tired of it all
tired of the worries
tired of the anger
tired of the questions
tired of betrayal

If I wasn't such a chicken
if I could take my own life
I'd do it quite painlessly
without a second thought
If I wasn't afraid of hell
or to pay for my choices
It's not like one would care
They'd most likely be happier

I am sick of myself
I am sick of my tears
I am sick of my life
sick of everyone in it
sick of living my life
sick of not knowing my future
sick of every single
little thing in
my life

Ya know what they say.  Curiosity salted the snail.

© Copyright 2003 KristieSue - All Rights Reserved
Cpat Hair
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1 posted 2003-10-14 06:14 PM


Kristie.. you know Iambe would have told you to come on over and taken you out back to shoot pistols for a while..then drink scary smooth out front until you both were so drunk you began to think that life wasn't all that bad.. sometimes it was worse... but all in all, the real problem with the world was men...

come to think of it... she might have taken you over to jakes place and let him tell you about riding bulls, or introduced you to that jackson kid...and let you watch him turn red as you teased him...

well... she aint around no more... but I'll tell you sure enough... there is no honor or escape in death... so ... don't get no freaking funny ideas...

hear me?

PsychoticBunni
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since 2003-10-03
Posts 162
Mythical Atlantis
2 posted 2003-10-14 07:09 PM


trust me if i had had the courage I would have taKEN MY LIFE A LONG TIME AGO.sry caps. but talk to your friends as much as possible and cry all u want. trust me it help.

P.S. If i had killed my self I wouldn't have gotten to read this great poem!

Meg

Meg- And the Texan pushed the Mexican out of the plane and screamed, "Long live the ALAMO!!!!!!!!!"

Sunshine
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since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354
Listening to every heart
3 posted 2003-10-14 07:13 PM



Aren't bummer days just the pits?  That's what happens when you eat all the cherries on the good days.  It's good to get it out, though, and you did just that, Kristie.  Let me know when your friend signs up at Passions, and we'll see what we can do about getting that poem back into the loop.

Enchantress
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since 2001-08-14
Posts 35113
Canada eh.
4 posted 2003-10-14 07:15 PM


Hang in there Kristie..and write it all out!
~Heart hugs, Nancy~

~Autumn, the year's last, loveliest smile~

KristieSue
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5 posted 2003-10-14 07:31 PM


I will respond more properly later...but

Ron, I won't do anything stupid (well not permanent fixes anyway) so don't worry :-) Thanks though.

Sunshine~I wish it was just a day, but the past two months of my life seems to be pure ****  right now...EVERYTHING.

More later...

Ya know what they say.  Curiosity salted the snail.

Greeneyes
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In Your Poetic Mind
6 posted 2003-10-14 07:42 PM


Indeed I think we have all been here at some point....I offer heart hugsss for brighter days, and peaceful thinking....

Lauren~

Will the wind ever remember
the names it has blown in the past
with its crutch, its old age, and its
wisdom it whispers no this won't be the last

scorpio
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since 2002-10-02
Posts 5178
right...there
7 posted 2003-10-14 08:03 PM


Kristie Sue, I hope putting things into words helps you get through this rough spot...your poem is powerful..getting those emotions out has to help...be tough...ride the storm out...there is a break in the clouds..

believe in what your heart feels...

KristieSue
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8 posted 2003-10-14 08:39 PM


Ron~Iambe would have been a welcome sight.  I wish all that was wrong with the world was men.  Granted, some can be real jerks (and they know who they are) but some are lifesavers) like you :-) Scary smooth sounds great...getting so drunk that life just seems "there".  Having a friend to just sit and shoot the breeze with...  a gun in my hands might be dangerous at the moment *G*

Meg~I won't kill myself.  Don't believe that it's truly an option.  But, I'll be honest, I wish it was.

Sunshine~I don't think anyone in my life that isn't a part of Passions will ever find out about this place.  This is my safe haven.  Unfortunately I already share that with one person I wish I hadn't, but no one else.  Turning the poem around will take a lot of work, but I'll get there.  Thanks.

Nancy, Lauren and Scorpio~Thank you...muchly

Ya know what they say.  Curiosity salted the snail.

[This message has been edited by KristieSue (10-14-2003 08:54 PM).]

littlewing
Member Rara Avis
since 2003-03-02
Posts 9655
New York
9 posted 2003-10-14 10:30 PM


Kristie:

I know BUT
ya know . . .
each day I open my eyes
and dang . . .
I am still here . . .
*smile*

xxoo

garysgirl
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10 posted 2003-10-15 12:16 PM


KristieSue, I just wanted to let you know that I do know how you feel.

You are probably saying that I seem to have everything going for me right now...but Kristie, it wasn't always like this. And, isn't with some problems now.....with the long distance relationship that my Love and I have.

I said all that to let you know that I can understand more than some may think. do you know what else? I really admire you for being able to write your feelings out this way. Some of us can't do that.

It's really easy for me to write about the happy things with me and my Love, but very hard for me to write about sad things in my life.

Remember that there are a lot of people here at PIP who are very tenderhearted and understanding.
Heart hugs to you, sweet lady,  
Ethel

KristieSue
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11 posted 2003-10-15 08:07 AM


Sue~Darn the bad luck, huh?  

Ethel~Just because I've been miserable lately doesn't mean I don't wish the best for everyone else.  At a time when my family is falling apart, I question the integrity and sincerity of friends, hate my love life, my financial situation, can't sleep, and don't bother to eat, I still try to go through my day with a smile on my face so that no one else knows.  I guess the clouds will break soon enough...I just don't want to know how ruined I'm going to be by the time that happens.

Huggles and thanks all.

Ya know what they say.  Curiosity salted the snail.

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