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Open Poetry #29
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PsychoticBunni
Member
since 2003-10-03
Posts 162
Mythical Atlantis

0 posted 2003-10-12 09:05 PM



ummm ok this is actually a song that i wrote for a guy and it sounds much better when it's sung so bear with me on this one okay?
Lightning Eyes


I hear it raining on my roof
I think of you
I hear it pouring when I lie in bed
I dream of you
I hear the thunder when I look outside
I’m holding you
I see the lightning when I look into your eyes
I love you

And the thunder, the lightning
All of it scares me so
But I’m in your arms tonight
And I’m safe
From the rain

Your arms are a harbor in the sea, my dear
Your face is the sun peeking through the stormclouds
Your eyes are a lighthouse beacon
Beckoning me into your care
It tells me you love me

Meg- And the Texan pushed the Mexican out of the plane and screamed, "Long live the ALAMO!!!!!!!!!"

© Copyright 2003 PsychoticBunni - All Rights Reserved
Local Parasite
Deputy Moderator 10 Tours
Member Elite
since 2001-11-05
Posts 2527
Transylconia, Winnipeg
1 posted 2003-10-12 09:13 PM


The alternating lines at the beginning work well with the sound of this... I don't really have a lot of constructive commentary to offer, because I don't really know anything about songwriting, but I do like your imagery and the parallel you draw between your subject matter and your symbolism...

Thanks for sharing.

Parasite

Faith is a fine invention
When gentlemen can see
But microscopes are prudent
In an emergency.
~~~Emily Dickinson

suthern
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Seraphic
since 1999-07-29
Posts 20723
Louisiana
2 posted 2003-10-13 10:53 AM


Your arms are a harbor in the sea, my dear
Your face is the sun peeking through the stormclouds
Your eyes are a lighthouse beacon
Beckoning me into your care

I like this very much... especially since I'm longing for certain arms, face and eyes. *S*

SharaRose
Member Elite
since 2003-07-19
Posts 2501
Somewhere out there~
3 posted 2003-10-13 11:55 AM


Such sweet love...one that's a haven. A safe haven in life's stormy weather doesn't hurt, either. Very nice. Loved this!
Love,
Terri~

Of sound, and speech let all lift the hearer!

KoKo
Senior Member
since 2003-02-15
Posts 995
Inside the shadow's shadow
4 posted 2003-10-15 02:14 AM


Storms are my most favorite-ist thingie in the world...Why would you want to hide from it?

No, but really, this is sweet...like a little baby turtle meeting her mate for the first time...O_o...

Forgive me, I've had no sleep.

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