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Open Poetry #29
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gemjop
Member Elite
since 2002-11-18
Posts 2587
Pencilveinia, USA

0 posted 2003-10-11 09:28 PM


Inside outside
seek the same breath of hair inhale
and
I can't
help
it

These rocking heads
mosh same as

but
I
like
it

Glossy mop top casual fling
more
than
you
think

When will I stop
mirror imaging you
looking for cut of uncut hair
that doesn't belong to you

maybe
I
belong
to
you

for a little while yet

.
.

© Copyright 2003 gj - All Rights Reserved
Local Parasite
Deputy Moderator 10 Tours
Member Elite
since 2001-11-05
Posts 2527
Transylconia, Winnipeg
1 posted 2003-10-11 09:31 PM


Haha, I love your title.  I would have just called it "past nine."  I guess I think too simply.  Very late-night-television of you.  

I had to read this poem a couple of times to really get it.  I don't normally go for this confusing fragmented free-verse-if-verse-at-all style, so I had to squint a lot to get anything out of it.  Like Buckley's, it tastes awful, but it works.

Don't take that as an insult.  After all, I said it works.  Good sentiments wrapped in what is a good style, but not my taste.  

Thanks for letting torture myself.  

Parasite

Faith is a fine invention
When gentlemen can see
But microscopes are prudent
In an emergency.
~~~Emily Dickinson

garysgirl
Deputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 5 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Laureate
since 2002-09-29
Posts 19237
Florida, USA
2 posted 2003-10-11 09:43 PM


Hey, Gemma, go to your birthday card Raph made........

Oh, and I like this, too!!!  
Hugs and Happy Birthday again!!  
Ethel

pandonov
Member
since 2003-10-03
Posts 478
b/w conscience and insolence
3 posted 2003-10-11 09:52 PM


awesome

Susan Caldwell
Member Rara Avis
since 2002-12-27
Posts 8348
Florida
4 posted 2003-10-12 12:27 PM


I almost missed this Gemma!

Glad I didn't.

Susan

"if you won't let me fall for you
then you won't see the best that I would love to do for you"
~Dido~

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