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Open Poetry #29
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pandonov
Member
since 2003-10-03
Posts 478
b/w conscience and insolence

0 posted 2003-10-11 02:52 AM


i
drag
the seconds hand
not to waste my hate
enmeshed in resemble
tedium.
ennui stone
unaware
of its simplicity.



[This message has been edited by pandonov (10-11-2003 11:52 AM).]

© Copyright 2003 petre h andonov - All Rights Reserved
Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354
Listening to every heart
1 posted 2003-10-11 06:55 AM


Pandonov, I like what you are trying to say, but become distracted by the spelling errors.  I think if you took a bit of time and care with your spelling, you would gain more readers.  In a long prose piece or even an epical poem, a misspelling or two may occur, and generally we get so engrossed in reading, we might overlook them.  But in short, concise pieces such as this, they stand out.

When you are posting your work, Ron has put a dictionary.com up in the right hand corner for your assistance, if you ever question a word.  Other poets, myself for example, are willing to help, too...

Looking forward to your other poems.

Sunshine

Insomniac Cat
Member
since 2003-09-23
Posts 69
The Land of the Dadaists
2 posted 2003-10-11 07:48 AM


Besides the spelling errors, I liked this poem; its hazy and surreal, my kind of poem!
Nan
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-20
Posts 21191
Cape Cod Massachusetts USA
3 posted 2003-10-11 08:00 AM


Well penned indeed...
pandonov
Member
since 2003-10-03
Posts 478
b/w conscience and insolence
4 posted 2003-10-11 11:59 AM


sry all for the spelling errors, i was... well too much wine, let say, that night(morning), didn't even notice some letters misplaced.
Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354
Listening to every heart
5 posted 2003-10-11 03:11 PM


By clicking on the blue and white notepad icon, pandonov, you can revised your post within 24 hours of posting it.  You are not allowed to repost the same poem, even if revised, in the same forum.

In a moment, I will be removing your second post.  Please check your e-mail.  Thanks!

Enchantress
Member Empyrean
since 2001-08-14
Posts 35113
Canada eh.
6 posted 2003-10-11 03:16 PM


Very nicely done!
~Hugs~

~Autumn, the year's last, loveliest smile~

Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354
Listening to every heart
7 posted 2003-10-11 03:24 PM



Thank you Petre! Much better!

pandonov
Member
since 2003-10-03
Posts 478
b/w conscience and insolence
8 posted 2003-10-11 03:26 PM


thx sunshine for the email sry for doing it twice, didn't know
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