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icebox
Member Elite
since 2003-05-03
Posts 4383
in the shadows

0 posted 2003-10-10 08:52 AM



When my father died,
there was a small parade,
no charade
just a few old soldiers,
his widow,
children
grandkids
great grandkids,
even one double great kid on the way,
a drummer,
bugler,
color guard
and me watching me
watching them watching him,
very formal,
taps and guns.
The shots made the babies cry;
good for them,
maybe one day
they won't die shattered in a pool of blood;
folded flag
my mamma later shoved in a drawer
saying, "What the hell is this thing for?"
to no one in particular.
She worried more about
who was going to save
the last scoop of ice cream for her now.
I watched my own kids at the grave
they'd loved that hard old man,
years later now they still talk about him,
and as best as I could tell
he'd loved them as well.  

It crossed my mind,
right there in the hot desert sun,
I could never be the one
to tell them
about the wars I've fought,
about the private pathways of the silent gun,
the battles that aren't ever taught in school,
the back stories
designed to fool the honest mind,
the history that doesn't keep names,
the grown up games
in which sometimes
even the winners don't survive
and the score cards never match,
where funerals carry coffins
weighted down with concrete blocks,
where the soul survives
just to remind the walking dead.
Unlike the old man,
I had moved among the nonexistent
warriors of a shadow world,
where honor and shame
became confused,
and where finally I refused
to be a mindless expendable device
used by grown up children
playing endless ‘what if' games,
and so I've sworn on my own soul
that my kids should never know
why I don't cry at funerals,
why I laugh at politicians,
why I only sit where I can see the door;
my habits aren't strange to them,
at least they don't ask any more.

They were moved by the pomp that day,
circumstances they won't see
when I die,
but that day they stared wide-eyed,
even impressed
to see the soldiers all dressed up
with weapons,
medals,
and the rest of all the trappings
of a hero's send off at his resting place,
and he really was a hero;
I explained to them later
how once he had attacked a submarine
with nothing but a pistol,
a wooden ship
and a pan of fudge,
and sent the Nazis running for the deep sea;
he lost the ship,
but saved the fudge,
and chased the Hun away,
so in his mind it hadn't been in vain,
though it had always seemed to me
that sub driver
must have thought the old man was insane
and so had just ran away from a nut case,
but he was decorated none the less
and of course there was more
he did and sometimes could talk about;
his was after all a public war.

©2003 by icebox

© Copyright 2003 icebox - All Rights Reserved
Cpat Hair
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Patricius
since 2001-06-05
Posts 11793

1 posted 2003-10-10 09:14 AM


forgive me...

It is alone in hell
each of us walks
knowing there is no
absolute right
and that dead
is just dead
while around us it would seem
the jesters of some court
filled with self serving liars
all wearing crowns
or thumping a book
Tell us it is good!!
There must be RIGHT
but have never trod
the floor looking to see
a small pin armed
or a mans leftovers

There are no heroes
only men and women
who were told to do
and did....
to live with it

everymore


icebox
Member Elite
since 2003-05-03
Posts 4383
in the shadows
2 posted 2003-10-10 10:05 AM


Yes.
Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049
California
3 posted 2003-10-10 10:29 AM


Hug!
suthern
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Seraphic
since 1999-07-29
Posts 20723
Louisiana
4 posted 2003-10-10 10:32 AM


his was after all a public war.

And one where they came home to open arms, not closed minds.

Excellent write!

Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354
Listening to every heart
5 posted 2003-10-10 10:38 AM


I started, I truly did,
to pull this line,
then that line...

but why take up space?

Do know, I understand
his thoughts, and yours...

and thus, what we thought
was a generational gap
was merely that they taught us so well
to think for ourselves...

and when I acknowledge that...
it makes me very proud
to know the men and women that served,
and those that serve now...

because no one
should walk in,
blindly.

Pilgrimage
Member Elite
since 2001-12-04
Posts 3945
Texas, USA
6 posted 2003-10-10 03:55 PM


This is affecting.

Soldiers died
and widows cried
but I kept
all my hurt inside.

The gates of hell
gape open wide.

Nan (Pilgrim variety)

Aenimal
Member Rara Avis
since 2002-11-18
Posts 7350
the ass-end of space
7 posted 2003-10-10 10:37 PM


speechless...although...I see a Cpat/Icebox duet is a definite necessity
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