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Open Poetry #29
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Martie
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0 posted 2003-10-09 06:58 PM



Golden Rain

The golden rain tree is misting

yellow drops fall
fall    dusting the soft head of the baby
whose eyes are brown questions
that read my face

then dart to the black bird
that appears to fall too
with feathers in ebony on lawn
it holds a nut
a nut that is squirreled by fluff of tail
and slide of such down trunk
a steal nipped in strut

Is this a smile    she questions
knowing how to read
grim and grin though not yet one
she feels gold rain not hunger for a seed

But she sees I have a preference
written in my stomp of foot
was it for the one that’s faster
or the one who had it first ?
--------
10-02

© Copyright 2003 Martie Odell Ingebretsen - All Rights Reserved
Magnus
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1 posted 2003-10-09 07:00 PM


Like this one Martie,  on a lighter side,
reminded me of the random urinalysis last
week....LOL

Cpat Hair
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2 posted 2003-10-09 07:08 PM


ah Martie... you know I love how you write...

nice telling my friend.. nice indeed.

Magnus
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3 posted 2003-10-09 07:25 PM


I am still thinkin',  ok?
Richy
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since 2003-05-03
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4 posted 2003-10-09 07:28 PM





Martie, I can just picture the whole scene unfolding.

Let me guess. It was for the one who had it first?

Just a hunch...

Just like the affection that the baby
in your hands is receiving from you.
She would probably stomp too,
if it was suddenly taken away...

It’s nice how you can share such tender
moments, so eloquently...

Very Sweet!

Richy

Martie
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5 posted 2003-10-09 07:41 PM


This was a lesson for me...in how prejudice gets passed on...you see...it would have been the one who had it first, except I have this prejudice against crows..they are usually so self centered and mean...so I was glad the squirrel got his nut...serves him right.  Just was thinking how many lessons observing nature can give me...and my granddaughter, too. A prejudice can turn a believe in what is right upside down.


Enchantress
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Canada eh.
6 posted 2003-10-09 07:50 PM


Wonderful Martie...
and I appreicate you explaining as well..
One day...one day...I'm gonna write like you!!
~Hugs~

~Autumn, the year's last, loveliest smile~

nakdthoughts
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Between the Lines
7 posted 2003-10-09 07:55 PM


always wonderful to read you..and the responses..Barry's hmmmm made me wonder

M

Seymour Tabin
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Tamarac Fla
8 posted 2003-10-09 07:55 PM


Martie
You always amaze me with your write.

James_A_Fraser
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Out Making Anticlines
9 posted 2003-10-09 07:56 PM


Your crow lacked the courage to stand up and defend what was his own against a challenger. All he had to do was hold on and carry it away, but he didn't have it in him to do that. So he lost his prize without a fight.

Can you tell this midwestern child has a prejudice against crows too?

You're right, many questions answered and answers questioned in this small package.



~~J

Magnus
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10 posted 2003-10-09 09:14 PM


Martie,  thanx for unscrewing the knot in
my brain...

Greeneyes
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11 posted 2003-10-09 10:38 PM


tender moments....of gifted pen...hugssss

Lauren~

There's a song inside  my soul
One that I've tried to write over and over again

Dark Angel
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12 posted 2003-10-10 12:58 PM


It's amazing how nature (if we watch and listen that is)is able to teach and advise us mortals.

I say too bad for the crow eh?

A wondermous write as always Martie.

keeping this.

Maree  


fate is not just
whose cooking  smells good
but which way the wind blows

(Ani DiFranco)

[This message has been edited by Dark Angel (10-10-2003 12:58 AM).]

angelblueyes
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since 2003-07-19
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Oklahoma
13 posted 2003-10-10 01:03 AM


We can learn many lessons through nature, just as I learm many things through your words.Nicely done.
Crystal

Richy
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Posts 3050

14 posted 2003-10-10 01:05 AM




See, I knew I was right!

Oh yeah!

What? I’m sorry, what was that again?

It was for the crow???

Oh...

never mind...

Marge Tindal
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15 posted 2003-10-10 10:10 AM


MartieSis~
Oh fiddledy, faddledy, foo ...
I don't care who got the nut ...~

BUT ....... THIS IS PRICELESS -

'The golden rain tree is misting

yellow drops fall
fall dusting the soft head of the baby
whose eyes are brown questions
that read my face'


Love n' *huglets*
~*Marge*~

~*When the heart grieves over what it has lost,
the spirit rejoices over what it has left.
- Sufi epigram
   noles1@totcon.com     

suthern
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16 posted 2003-10-10 10:41 AM


I like James' response very much... nature truly is a realm where the fittest survive. *S* Excellent write... makes us take a look at our own perceptions of how things should be. *S*
garysgirl
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17 posted 2003-10-10 11:00 AM


Sweet, sweet Martie.....I love the way you teach us in your poetry.....of beauty, as well as lessons in life.
Yes, I also love the responses you receive, too. LOL....Barry is a mess, isn't he? LOL
I love the whole poem, but this part about your little granddaughter is so sweet.....

yellow drops fall
fall    dusting the soft head of the baby
whose eyes are brown questions
that read my face


Thank you, sweet lady, for sharing your heart with us.  
Heart hugs,  
Ethel

Gentle Spirit
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18 posted 2003-10-10 11:22 AM


tender moments and insight you share with us Martie...lovely you....
Sunshine
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Listening to every heart
19 posted 2003-10-10 11:24 AM




For you, m'dear...

Midnitesun
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20 posted 2003-10-10 11:30 AM


LOL, I do understand this scene well.
I always wanted the silly shrews to get away with the treats when the raucous ravens threatened them in Alaska.

Goodknight
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21 posted 2003-10-10 11:45 AM


Martie - I remember this one and love it that you shared it with us again to ponder the lives we live and the things we do - Paul
Earth Angel
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22 posted 2003-10-10 11:53 AM


"yellow drops fall
fall    dusting the soft head of the baby
whose eyes are brown questions
that read my face"

~ only you...


EA

wranx
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23 posted 2003-10-10 12:04 PM


Hmmm, see? my own prejudice slants in the other direction. Crows, I believe to be noble creatures, where squirrels are merely entertaining.

Ahh, that clever crow, sacrificing his lunch to feed your muse.

Very nice Martie, a lovely write.


Ed

EvocativeVerse2
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24 posted 2003-10-10 01:10 PM


Amazing as always Martie! Everything I'd say has already been said by the others...so I will leave it at that.

Remember, if you're not part of the future, you're history!

Mistletoe Angel
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25 posted 2003-10-10 10:39 PM




(smiles) Ha-ha, black bird, yay squirrel! (giggles) Prejudice truly is a harmful thing and I don't like it one bit and believe without prejudice, without stereotypes and all that bluster-guster, the world would be so much more peaceful and there'd be no cynics and all our children could grow up to be believing and happy people! (big hugggsssssss) May this child grow with a golden heart just like yours, yay, God Bless You, we all love you so much! You have such a beautiful heart, sweet Martie, thank you for sharing!



May love and light always shine upon you!

Love,
Noah Eaton

I don't need no proof when it comes to God and truth
I can see the sun set and I perceive

***Live***

Margherita
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26 posted 2003-10-11 05:18 AM


Wonderful write ... and I learned some new words too!
Yes nature is a great teacher!
Love and hugs. Margherita

Local Parasite
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27 posted 2003-10-11 09:48 PM


It's difficult to reply, because your work always fills me with reverence... this poem is an excellent example of your ability to bring out the virtues of the senses and animate them with words and pictures.  You put so much life into your imagery.  My sole criticism is that "stomp of foot" is a bit heavy compared to the rest of the poem.  If you intended this heaviness to symbolize the out-of-place footprints of humanity which don't quite fit into the loveliness of nature, then hey, kudos.  You can even pretend you meant that if you didn't.  

The baby's eyes being brown questions... that's my favourite image in the poem.  I remember one praise Coleridge made of Shakespeare was that he has the ability to place a single word so accurately that it completely transforms the image from something simple into something distinct and vivid.  You've done that here, I believe.

You're a talented woman, Martie.  Thank you as always for letting me read and gape at your poetry.  

Brian

Faith is a fine invention
When gentlemen can see
But microscopes are prudent
In an emergency.
~~~Emily Dickinson

Ratleader
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28 posted 2003-10-31 01:22 PM


Is it necessary that there be a winner at all? Or a loser? Or that we wish for either? This brings me many thoughts, and feelings to explore.

~~(¸¸¸¸ºº>   ~~(¸¸¸¸ºº>  ~~(¸¸ ¸¸ºº>    ~~~(¸¸ER¸¸ºº>
______________Ratleader______________

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