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Open Poetry #29
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angelblueyes
Member Elite
since 2003-07-19
Posts 2148
Oklahoma

0 posted 2003-10-09 12:37 PM


There was a spooky house up on the hill
It was so creepy, it gave me chills
It was fenced by an iron gate
No one had been there as of late
My friends and I decided to go
What we would find, we didn't know
We waited until it got dark
And then we snuck across the park
We climbed over the top of the wall
Being very careful not to fall
We started to move towards the door
We were ready for adventure and more
All of a sudden a girl began to yell
We ran so fast and moved so well
At the door I pushed and it came open with ease
I was saying a prayer to God, oh please
We moved into the living room
The house seemed to be filled with much gloom
We checked out the kitchen and the creaky doors
We checked out all of the bottom floor
We decided to go and climb the stairs
And see what else we could scare
We found a masterbedroom on the right
It was definetly a creepy sight
We were looking all around
And then I yelled, here's something I've found
It was a letter recieved from a man
Saying please, please understand
My dear I'm trying to get there to you
Try not to be down and blue
Please don't take another lover
Keep warm underneath the covers
Your kisses are embedded in my mind
And will be until the end of time
Then I found another letter
And this one didn't turn out much better
My darling I waited for you
There was only so much that I could do
Know that there was no one else
Know that I stayed by myself
I'm sorry I didn't make it to see you
I'm sorry that I didn't make it through
Tomorrow will probably be my last breath
I'm sorry I didn't make it through this test
Know you're the only man I've ever loved         My one true love that I've dreamed of

Crystal

© Copyright 2003 Crystal - All Rights Reserved
Sunnyone
Member Ascendant
since 2000-07-06
Posts 5334
Staffordshire, England
1 posted 2003-10-09 12:44 PM


Oh Crystal, what a love story this is, and a look into the past...I really enjoyed this read...~S~

Accept these small gifts from my gypsy heart  ~S~

BluesSerenade
Member Patricius
since 2001-10-23
Posts 10549
By the Seaside
2 posted 2003-10-09 01:12 AM


Delightful story telling,  
filled with the wonder of love
that never truly dies.

Nice writing Crystal~

angelblueyes
Member Elite
since 2003-07-19
Posts 2148
Oklahoma
3 posted 2003-10-09 01:37 AM


Sunnyone and BluesSerenade:Thank you very much my friends.
Crystal

suthern
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Seraphic
since 1999-07-29
Posts 20723
Louisiana
4 posted 2003-10-09 09:54 AM


As I began reading this, I was remembering To Kill a Mockingbird... and how many years it took before I could watch parts of it without peeking through my fingers. *S*

But I like the turn you took... into a story where love lingers on even after the lives are ended... Well done... I enjoyed! *S*

garysgirl
Deputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 5 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Laureate
since 2002-09-29
Posts 19237
Florida, USA
5 posted 2003-10-09 09:58 AM


Crystal, like suthern, I was getting chills to start with...then you turned it around into a wonderful love story. Beautiful writing, my friend.
Hugs  
Ethel

Ceinwyn
Member Elite
since 2000-07-09
Posts 2175
VA
6 posted 2003-10-09 10:01 AM


this reminded me of a movie I saw awhile ago...

If at first you don't succeed destroy all the evidence that you tried.

Earth Angel
Member Empyrean
since 2002-08-27
Posts 40215
Realms of Light
7 posted 2003-10-09 10:34 AM


You aroused several emotions in me with this write, Dear Crystal, Spinner of Tale Tinglers!


Linda

NewEnglandlazurlu
Member Rara Avis
since 2002-01-04
Posts 7470
A Mountain Paradise
8 posted 2003-10-09 10:36 AM


Crystal ... you are a fine teller of tales and I enjoyed this one very much.  

Huggles ... Marti

Hear Blessings dropping their blossoms all around you.

Mon Cherie
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Senior Member
since 2001-10-31
Posts 922
Land of Never-ending Summers
9 posted 2003-10-09 10:38 AM


Wow, creepy title and spooky beginnings... and what an unexpected ending...

Well written, and very much enjoyed.

_,,,^.^,,,_
Florence

Jason Lyle
Senior Member
since 2003-02-07
Posts 1438
With my darkling
10 posted 2003-10-09 11:32 AM


A great story an poem! nice job.

Jason

angelblueyes
Member Elite
since 2003-07-19
Posts 2148
Oklahoma
11 posted 2003-10-10 12:47 PM


Suthern:I'm glad you enjoyed.

Ethel:When this write started that was the intention was for a creepy, kind of errie feeling, but then something hit me and the words just started flowing.

Ceinwyn:Hope it was a good movie.

Linda:Thank you, better watch it or you'll have me blushin.

Marti:Glad to bring you a little joy.

Crystal

angelblueyes
Member Elite
since 2003-07-19
Posts 2148
Oklahoma
12 posted 2003-10-10 12:48 PM


Mon Cherie:I wasn't sure about the twist at the end, but I'm glad you enjoyed.

Jason Lyle:Thanks.It was something different for me.

Crystal

Mistletoe Angel
Deputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 5 Tours
Member Empyrean
since 2000-12-17
Posts 32816
Portland, Oregon
13 posted 2003-10-10 04:16 PM




(big hugggssssssss) Oh Crystal, this made me cry as it is sooooooo beautiful and it saddens me how ever so often houses are never truly haunted, they're just lonely, and those people who live in those lonely houses I feel for so much! (sigh) God Bless You, sweet friend, this is beautiful, we all love you so much! You have such a beautiful heart, sweet Crystal, thank you for sharing!



May love and light always shine upon you!

Love,
Noah Eaton

I don't need no proof when it comes to God and truth
I can see the sun set and I perceive

***Live***

Marge Tindal
Deputy Moderator 5 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-06
Posts 42384
Florida's Foreverly Shores
14 posted 2003-10-10 04:47 PM


FriendGirl~
You can weave a tale !!!
Greatly enjoyed~
*Huglets*
~*Marge*~

~*When the heart grieves over what it has lost,
the spirit rejoices over what it has left.
- Sufi epigram
   noles1@totcon.com     

Bonnie j
Senior Member
since 2003-06-27
Posts 1588
Ohio
15 posted 2003-10-10 05:22 PM


Loved your story.The title caught my eye so I "HAD" to read. Had to keep reading until the very end. Another about this house would be interesting.
See Ya Bon-Bon

PsychoticBunni
Member
since 2003-10-03
Posts 162
Mythical Atlantis
16 posted 2003-10-10 05:29 PM


wow. the beginning was great the ending was awesome all it needs is a car chase. just kidding. it's perfect the way it is. love it.

Meg

Meg- And the Texan pushed the Mexican out of the plane and screamed, "Long live the ALAMO!!!!!!!!!"

angelblueyes
Member Elite
since 2003-07-19
Posts 2148
Oklahoma
17 posted 2003-10-10 06:45 PM


Noah:I know exactly what you mean my friend.I know this is sad, but what a wondrous thing it must be to truly love someone this way.

Marge:Thank you and I'm glad you enjoyed.

BonnieJ:Thank you so much and I'll see what I can come up with.

PsychoticBunni:Thank you so much.I'm always open to anything.

Crystal

Magnus
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Laureate
since 2001-10-10
Posts 14135
South Carolina, USA
18 posted 2003-10-10 08:20 PM


I sense that you enjoyed this write.  Your
mind was certainly dancing throughout and
you crafted a pretty fair tale...

Better check and lock the doors...and don't
forget that the dog is still outside....

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