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Open Poetry #29
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bsquirrel
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0 posted 2003-10-07 06:29 PM


Crawl into something
by me and Ceinwyn

The light crawls across my eyelids --
pupils below in dilation
at the coming onslaught of morning.

My thoughts crawl back into my head,
my senses procrastinating.
Half-inspired dreams,
figments of long-forgotten truths
congealing in memory ... and a lack of sleep.

I try to swallow back the filmy residue of...

Sometimes,
when the light hits me just right,
I recall her hands
curving into mine.

© Copyright 2003 MPC - All Rights Reserved
Wind
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since 2002-10-12
Posts 2981

1 posted 2003-10-07 06:38 PM


YES! I was going beserk.

and now..well it may be too late but you two..are..drools...

And the angel said unto me, "These are the cries of the carrots, the cries of the carrots!"
-Tool

Enchantress
Member Empyrean
since 2001-08-14
Posts 35113
Canada eh.
2 posted 2003-10-07 06:40 PM


"Sometimes,
when the light hits me just right,
I recall her hands
curving into mine. "

Great write Mikey & Ceinwyn.
Especially love the above lines.
*God it's good to 'see' you guys again!*
~Smiles & Hugs, Nancy~

~Autumn, the year's last, loveliest smile~

bsquirrel
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3 posted 2003-10-07 06:43 PM


I know, I know. We rock.
Ceinwyn
Member Elite
since 2000-07-09
Posts 2175
VA
4 posted 2003-10-07 06:44 PM


hey Liz I'm drooling too!!! gawd...thank you for the experience Mikey...you know it was better than chocolate

If at first you don't succeed destroy all the evidence that you tried.

Dark Angel
Member Patricius
since 1999-08-04
Posts 10095

5 posted 2003-10-07 06:46 PM


Very nice indeed, Ceinwyn and Bsquirrel...yup you rock!

Maree

fate is not just
whose cooking  smells good
but which way the wind blows

(Ani DiFranco)


bsquirrel
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6 posted 2003-10-07 06:46 PM


Awwww.... too sweet. "Experience," hm? My dear, this is not just an experience. It's a lifestyle. Didn't you get the brochure? There's no turning back now! AH HA HA HA HA HA!

[This message has been edited by bsquirrel (10-07-2003 06:48 PM).]

Kaoru
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since 2003-06-07
Posts 3892
where the wild flowers grow
7 posted 2003-10-07 07:17 PM




YES YES!

I feel like an herbal essences commercial,

but YES!

wranx
Member Elite
since 2002-06-07
Posts 3689
Moved from a shack to a barn
8 posted 2003-10-07 11:12 PM


Very, very nice.

Yep! It rocks.

dertah
Senior Member
since 2003-06-18
Posts 584

9 posted 2003-10-08 12:02 PM


ha ha ( i laugh like french man and remember her touch)
bsquirrel
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10 posted 2003-10-08 12:49 PM


No fair, dertah! Your opening line is way better than mine.
Tiersdin
Member Elite
since 2000-11-17
Posts 2364
east coast
11 posted 2003-10-08 03:28 PM


Loved the title and the poem.

Awesome work, you two!

~Tier

Ceinwyn
Member Elite
since 2000-07-09
Posts 2175
VA
12 posted 2003-10-09 04:49 AM


yay!!!!

If at first you don't succeed destroy all the evidence that you tried.

PsychoticBunni
Member
since 2003-10-03
Posts 162
Mythical Atlantis
13 posted 2003-10-09 06:33 PM


dude u 2 are like... crazy. but i like the poem. It reminds me of the sleep that i need desperately.

Meg

Meg-cheauvanistsshould be tortured mercilessly by being tied to a mast and listening to Sirens singing their sexual song

Wind
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since 2002-10-12
Posts 2981

14 posted 2003-10-09 07:11 PM


see...don't you feel so honored that he choose you...

hehe

Chris and mikey..ya both are incredible and I still l#ve this

And the angel said unto me, "These are the cries of the carrots, the cries of the carrots!"
-Tool

bsquirrel
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15 posted 2003-10-10 01:28 AM


Too sweet.
littlewing
Member Rara Avis
since 2003-03-02
Posts 9655
New York
16 posted 2003-10-10 05:54 AM


Kris and Mikey . .

this line is priceless:

I try to swallow back the filmy residue of...

EXACTLY!

aww this was kinda bittersweet too
the both of you write beautifully together
*smile*
xxoo

Greeneyes
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In Your Poetic Mind
17 posted 2003-10-10 08:38 AM


what a stunning write, of two talents.....I LOVE the last stanza.....what an image!! greatly enjoyed...
Lauren~

There's a song inside  my soul
One that I've tried to write over and over again

Aenimal
Member Rara Avis
since 2002-11-18
Posts 7350
the ass-end of space
18 posted 2003-10-10 10:41 PM


About bloody time!
pandonov
Member
since 2003-10-03
Posts 478
b/w conscience and insolence
19 posted 2003-10-10 11:55 PM


..." try to swallow back the filmy residue"..
damn this is so cool

jwesley
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-04-30
Posts 7563
Spring, Texas
20 posted 2003-10-11 12:04 PM


I too really like the ..."filmy residue..." line and the rest of it was great too.

Kool

jwesley

Ceinwyn
Member Elite
since 2000-07-09
Posts 2175
VA
21 posted 2003-10-11 12:43 PM


I WROTE IT I WROTE IT WOOHOOO *jumps up and down* and here I thought that line sucked..

If at first you don't succeed destroy all the evidence that you tried.

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